About life, driving, and computers

Updated 12/19/17

Some of the things that happen in life are so STOOOPID that there are no words to describe them. Or at least there weren't any. Here are a few words to fill in the gap.

  1. Abluton (N) - The unit charge of cleanliness (Antonym: ENTROPON)
  2. Ackpuce (N) - The ugliest color ever created
  3. Adipositron (N) - The unit charge of obesity
  4. Alpoet (N) - Writer of dog-food commercials
  5. American Excuse Card (N) - Any credit card used to spend money beyond one's means (See EGOCARD)
  6. Andage (N) - Multiple repetitions of "Oh! One more thing!" (comes from the "Columbo" TV series.)
  7. Angry Fruit Cocktail (N) - Too much clutter on a web page (Also Angry Fruit Salad*)
  8. Angry Fruit Cocktail With Bugs (N) - Too much clutter on a web page, along with frenzied motion
  9. Angry Swarming Bugs (N) - Too much animation on a web page
  10. Anonymice (N) - Anonymous sources
  11. Arachnoleptic Fit (N) - The frantic dance performed just after walking through a spider web ****
  12. Arsday (N) - Thursday (from the practice of using R for Thursday in college schedules of classes)
  13. Artchitect (N) - An architect who places the beauty he can create above the functionality of the building
  14. Artchitecture (N) - The design of a building that has beauty, but no functionality
  15. ASCIIbetical Order (A) - In the order of the ASCII character set, with all capital letters sorted before all lowercase letters
  16. ASOTV (PH) - As Seen On TV
  17. Aswat (A) - In the direction of the swat
  18. Attidude (N) - The laid-back overconfidence of a novice
  19. Audiovisualoglyphics (N) - Pictorial symbols on the buttons of a remote control for audio-visual equipment (See LAUNDROGLYPHICS, GROWLOGLYPHICS)
  20. Autocomputotastrophe (N) - An automobile crash caused by the failure of the on-board computer
  21. Autolescent (N) - A very bad driver, who is self-centered in nature
  22. Autolopithicus (N) - A driver with prehistoric roots, who believes that there is nothing wrong with drinking and driving, breaking traffic laws, and endangering other motorists (See AUTOLESCENT) (Also see SQUATWELLIAN in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  23. Baccalottery (N) - The gamble you make when you get a fake diploma instead of attending classes
  24. Badzoic Era (N) - The geologic age when everything in the world started to go wrong
  25. Bagpref (N) - Paper or plastic (See PAYPREF)
  26. Bambooze (V) - What alcoholic beverages do to the brain
  27. Barghum (N) - The sticky syrup on everything in a bar, resulting from spilled beer
  28. Bargoon (N) - A bargain that turns out to not be such a bargain
  29. Basebrawl (N) - A game, in which people combine playing baseball with having bench-clearing fights (See BASKETBRAWL, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  30. Basilicates (N) - The minerals they make basilicas out of
  31. Basketbrawl (N) - 1. A game, in which people combine playing basketball with having bench-clearing fights
    2. Indiana Pacers vs Detroit Pistons 11/20/2004 (See BASEBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  32. Bawl Game (N) - How liberals get their way * (See BRAWL GAME)
  33. Beachketball (N) - Basketball played with a beach ball and huge hoops
  34. Bean DP (N) - Using a computer to do bean-counting inventory
  35. Beelzebug (N) - Satan, in the form of a mosquito in your bedroom at 3 am - Cannot be cast out ****
  36. Beeriad (N) - 10000 cans of beer
  37. Biadversarial (A) - Describing sports where two teams play against each other
  38. Bicker Bonnet (N) - The hat that is worn when the person is argumentative
  39. Bidydle (N) - A bicycle used to break traffic laws
  40. Big Band Theory (PH) - The origin of the universe, according to "The Picture Book of Relativity"
  41. Big Bother (N) - Intrusive government
  42. Bilkage (N) - Money taken by a scam
  43. Billionormilliarding (V) - Getting the US numbering system mixed up with the world numbering system (See SI standards for a chart showing the differences between the numbering systems)
  44. Bimb (N) - One of a series of globular light fixtures, each hanging at the bottom of its own loop of festoon wiring, which is strung between ceiling or post attachment points
  45. Bioblat (N, V, IJ) - Passing gas
  46. Bisackual (N) - Will take either paper or plastic sacks
  47. Bituperate (V) - To verbally abuse people for doing either of the only two available alternatives
  48. Blabentaior (N) - A news commentator who does nothing but blab and blab
  49. Blabber Incontinence (N) - "I'm talking, and I can't shut up!"
  50. Blabberhea (N) - The disease that causes non-stop talking
  51. Blabbertyjabbrer (S) - 1. Everyone talking at once
    2. The sound of a phone scrambler
    3. Receiving a single-sideband signal on an amplitude-modulated receiver
  52. Blabbery (N) - 1. The misdemeanor of talking too much
    2. Using drivel to mislead people
  53. Blabiot (N) - An idiot who won't shut up
  54. Blatticide (N) - The act of killing roaches *
  55. Blebium (N) - The chemical that pimples are made of
  56. BLecc6 (IJ - pronounced "bleksix") - The page author's reaction to the overcoverage of Michael Jackson's death (BLecc6 was the Captcha security code when the page author posted a message complaining about the overcoverage.)
  57. Blooium (N) - The substance that makes equipment go blooey
  58. Bluk (N, A) - Pertaining to advertisements received through email (Cf. Bulk)
  59. Blurp (V) - To blur the mouth of someone who says a bad word on TV, as well as muting the sound
  60. Boattom (N) - The underside of a watercraft
  61. Boditi (N) - A tattoo (body graffiti)
  62. Bohr Bug (N) - A repeatable computer bug* (See EINSTEINBUG, HEISENBUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  63. Boiped To Death (PH) - Inundated with telemarketing phone calls (from the 'boip' sound)
  64. Bomblastic (A) - Describing the noise of a terrorist bomb going off as "violating the noise ordinance"
  65. Boombastic (A) - Describing the sound of a passing BOOMCAR
  66. Boomcar (N) - An automobile with a booming THUMPER *
  67. Bosstastrophe (N) - An automobile accident caused by the boss yelling at the driver (his employee) over a cell phone
  68. Bothsider (N) - A driver who drives in the center lane of a one-way street, trying to get the first parking space found on either side - usually causes an accident trying to get the space
  69. Bozone (N) - A substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating ****
  70. Bragium (N) - A chemical substance that makes people brag
  71. Brain Bucket (N) - Safety helmet*
  72. Brain Remover (N) - An alcoholic beverage that is 100 proof or higher - Science has now shown that excessive drinking causes the brain to shrink and lose function - Could be a cause of SLOUCHED BRAIN
  73. Bratosaurus (N) - Where brats (bratwurst) come from
  74. Brawl Game (N) - A sporting event disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  75. Brimlets (N) - Diabetic testing supplies (ad by Wilford Brimley)
  76. Broker (A) - What you become after you use the services of one
  77. Browseocoveter (N) - A web page designer who wants to keep you from using your browser controls while on his website
  78. Brushery (N) - A truckload of brush that has been cut-down and removed
  79. Brute and Verify (A) - Describing computer menus that drive you nuts making sure you want to do what you did
  80. CaCaCase (N) - Text with random shifts between uppercase and lowercase - eXamPlE: vERy aNnOYIng
  81. Cacajillion (U) - The total number of things that can possibly go wrong **
  82. Caffiend (N) - A person who can't get through the day without caffeine (See DECAFALON)
  83. Californicate (V) - 1. To behave like HOLLYWODD actors and actresses do in TV shows
    2. To believe that the California government actually knows what it is doing
  84. Californitritus (N) - All of those labels on equipment saying that it contains something "known to the State of California" to be harmful in some obscure way or another - Treat them as the trash they are, because California doesn't really have any proof to back up what it "knows"
  85. Candbid (V) - Accidentally bidding on an item at an auction, by inadvertently making a gesture
  86. Car Challenger (N) - A HINDENCAR
  87. Carberg (N) - A chunk of ice or snow attached to the back of a car fender (See MALLBERG, SNOWBERG)
  88. Cannonboxclog (N) - A pool filter clogged with Progressive Insurance boxes
  89. Cansas (N) - A recycle bin full of cans, rattling in the wind
  90. Canucopia (N) - Trash cans of plenty
  91. Cashatrophic (A) - Out of money
  92. Cashtration (N) - The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period ****
  93. Caterpallor (N) - The color you turn after finding half a worm in your apple ****
  94. Celebratty (A) - Describing a well-known musician, actor, or public figure acting like a spoiled brat
  95. Celebraty (N) - A well-known musician, actor, or public figure who acts like a spoiled brat
  96. Cellophase (N) - To phase into and out of paying attention to your driving, because you are on a cell phone
  97. Cellublab (N) - One side of a cell phone conversation heard by others in the room (See CELLVERSATION)
  98. Cellulite Phone (N) - A portable phone, because you don't have to run to answer it, you gain weight
  99. Cellupacifier (N) - A sledgehammer used to permanently silence cellular phones
  100. Cellusnapture (N) - Catching someone in a ridiculous pose with a cell phone camera
  101. Celluyodel (S) - A ringing cellular phone driving people nuts
  102. Cellversation (N) - A person, distracting others by apparently talking to himself, who is actually on a cellular phone (See CELLUBLAB)
  103. Cesspoo (N) - The detritus that is found in a cesspool
  104. Cheaticap (N) - 1. A handicap that allows a player to cheat
    2. Parking in a handicap parking space when you are not handicapped
  105. Choon (N) - 1. The shape of one section of a hanging insulator used to support megavolt power lines from poles
    2. Anything else the same shape (a small bell)
  106. Chopera (N) - An opera interrupted by a power failure
  107. Chortleography (N) - The art of composing dance steps or laws that are funny
  108. Cigabutt (N) - The most often distributed litter, a cigarette butt
  109. Cigliar (N) - Someone who says he quit smoking, but didn't
  110. Cisco Kid, The (N) - The icon for "Network drive not available" (looks like a man in a cowboy hat on a low-resolution monitor)
  111. Cliptomaniac (N) - A kleptomaniac who steals only paper clips (4th word I coined)
  112. Clockmare (N) - 1. How DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME messes up things
    2. Being the janitor of a building with 157 public clocks on the day the time changes for DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME
  113. Clocktonite (N) - The mysterious substance inside an office clock that slows down civil service workers after 2 pm
  114. Clue-by-four (N) - The act of adding whack to something that is out of whack
  115. Cogblat (S) - The clash of gears caused by a driver trying to learn to drive a stick shift
  116. Coinologium (N) - Any word coined from the name of some obscure, long-forgotten event or place
  117. Commit Truth (V) - To tell the truth, even though it is not within the guidelines of POLITICAL CORRECTION **
  118. Complosion (N) - An explosion intended to compress matter, Erroneously called "implosion"
  119. Conphylactic (N) - A leaky condom
  120. Contact Bridge (N) - A card game where people get mad and chase each other around the room (See TACKLE PINOCHLE)
  121. Copyrat (N) - A copyright holder who will not place a discontinued product in the public domain, keeping those who need it from getting it
  122. Cordurog (N) - A single repetition of the ridges in corduroy material (See CORRUG)
  123. Corrodium (N) - What dead batteries are made of (See PRE-CORRODIUM)
  124. Corrodium Warning (N) - "Do not lose this radio in closet while installing dead batteries."
  125. Corrug (N) - A single repetition of the folds in the center of corrugated cardboard (See CORDUROG)
  126. Crastinator (N) - A person adept at delaying, who has not yet turned professional
  127. Credirt (N) - A very poor credit rating
  128. Danger Constancy, Laws of (PH) - 1. The amount of danger in the world at any time is a constant.
    2. Danger is conserved. Danger can be neither created nor destroyed.
  129. Dangtoe (N) - The toe you keep stubbing
  130. Debtpasser (N) - A person who uses the word DEBTPASSES when saying the Lord's Prayer
  131. Debtpasses (N) - The word spoken by someone saying the Lord's Prayer who starts to say "debts" when the rest of the congregation says "trespasses" - The resulting word spoken is "debtpasses."
  132. Decafalon (N) - Getting through the day without caffeine **** (See CAFFIEND)
  133. Deeple (N) - The line on an appliance that tells how full you can fill it - Also Maxfill
  134. Deficiency Apartment (N) - 1. An apartment with two rooms, one of them being a bathroom
    2. Any apartment that has decayed because it has been under rent control for years
  135. Deja-Moo (PH) - "I've heard this bull before."
  136. Delay-Off (N) - When both sides counter each other with continuances
  137. Dellinkquent (N) - The guy on the Staples commercial who freaks out over a lack of Dell ink
  138. Depodiated (A) - A speaker who, when told to come up to the podium, finds there isn't one to stand on, but just a lectern
  139. Deprecator (N) - An elitist who won't leave existing computer languages alone, but has to change them
  140. Despotician (N) - A politician who is a despot
  141. Despotition (N) - A deposition made with criminal intent
  142. Dimelich Maneuver (N) - The process by which a waiter squeezes the tip from the customer's pocket
  143. Dimpled Chad (N) - A defect in a computer punch card that is caused by a dirty card reader
  144. Disasteroid (N) - A large rock hurtling to destroy the earth in a disaster movie or a History Channel SCARESHOW
  145. Discongenuous (A) - When a company discontinues needed products, or says "Your call is important to us" for two hours of keeping you on hold
  146. Dishwashable (A) - Able to be washed in a dishwasher without being damaged
  147. Dislaboration (N) - The state of politicians or labor unions working against each other
  148. Dodge Mahal (N) - A gold-plated diamond-studded 1969 Dodge Charger
  149. Dongle (N) - A device attached to a computer that proves to the software that the user has purchased the software, and thus has a right to use it and violates the law once the copyright expires *
  150. Dopeler Effect (N) - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly ****
  151. Dotcompoop (N) - Person who can't surf the Internet
  152. Double Drick (N) - A large-area power failure, such as the one on 11/9/1965 (See DRICK)
  153. Double Entawdry (N) - A phrase that has two meanings, with one of them being sexually suggestive
  154. Double-Hued Cellphonium (N) - A cell phone that glows with two colors at night (cf Double-belled euphonium)
  155. Downbardment (N) - Microsoft Update disrupting your work
  156. Dratify (V) - To affirm mistakes as part of the plan
  157. Dratoff (N) - A mistake contest
  158. Drayne (N) - Any person, government program, or process that destroys wealth
  159. Dreamlinercar (N) - Electric car on fire
  160. Drick (S, N) - A power failure (From the TV series "Green Acres")
  161. Dricken (N) - Plural of DRICK - multiple power failures
  162. Dricker (N) - The cause of a power failure (See DRICK)
  163. Droit (N) - A French robot that takes away your rights and money, giving them to undeserving artists
  164. Droneswatter (N) - A very large flyswatter used to swat down drones
  165. Drownpour (N) - Rain heavy enough to drown small animals
  166. DST Bug (N) - The computer and equipment errors that occur because the legislated beginning and ending dates for DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME changed in 2007 so existing software and equipment changed on the wrong date (see DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  167. Ducksnort (N) - A baseball hit just beyond the infield *
  168. Dupid (A) - Stupid enough to be duped
  169. Dupidity (N) - Stupid enough to be duped
  170. DVDemolish (V) - What you have to do to the packaging to get to the actual DVD disc, due to the anti-theft packaging
  171. Dwoodle (V) - How an elongated ellipsoid rolls erratically (e.g. rugby ball)
  172. Dyslexia Amplifier (N) - A web page that constantly changes. repeatedly erasing the mental text buffer of a dyslexic person, so he can't read the page contents
  173. Dystypic (A) - Typing the letters of words in the WORNG order
  174. Eboink (S) - The sound a computer makes when an email arrives
  175. Eboppity (IJ) - The internet strikes back
  176. Edirtorialize (V) - To add bias or innuendo to an article
  177. Egocard (N) - A credit card with no limit (See AMERICAN EXCUSE CARD)
  178. Einsteinbug (N) - A computer bug that requires a major change in the way the software works to fix it (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  179. Ellwait (N) - The time someone loses or wastes by using mass transit
  180. Enemess (N) - 1. The messiness of a sloppy enema
    2. The mess created by an enemies list (equivalent to #1)
  181. Entropon (N) - The unit charge of messiness (Antonym: ABLUTON)
  182. Evain (A) - vanity in email
  183. Evianated (V) - The feeling you get as you buy your bottled water, and suddenly realize that "Evian" is "naive" spelled backwards
  184. Exaster (N) - 1. A former disaster
    2. An ex-wife
  185. Excedrache (N) - A headache caused by trying to open the Excedrin bottle
  186. Execublabber (N) - Drivel produced by a government or corporate executive (See LEGISBLABBER)
  187. Exit Tramp (N) - A beggar who stands at the local street end of an exit ramp with a sign, asking for money
  188. Exoid (N) - The monster who used to be your spouse
  189. Expert (N) - Unknown drip under pressure (cf. x = unknown + spurt = drip under pressure) *
  190. Eye Swatter (N) - A cold drink
  191. Facebook Fog (N) - The sudden realization that you have no idea what was going on in class while you were on Facebook
  192. Failacy (N) - Propensity to fail
  193. Fairgle (V) - To yell "It's not fair" when you lose - the chief activity of many liberals
  194. Fakade (N) - A fake facade
  195. Fallic (A) - Full of fallacy
  196. Faqirial (A) - A day short and a dollar late
  197. Faqiry (N, pronounced "fakery") - One of the fake fairies that liberals postulate to exist to provide the missing wealth needed to make the LIVING WAGE and other impossible plans FEASE
  198. Fauxtography (N) - Making PHAKE photos
  199. Faxic Waste (N) - When ads come through the fax, wasting your supplies
  200. Fease (V) - To be feasible * (See TANGE)
  201. Feasily (AV) - doably
  202. Feasy (A) - Easily feasible
  203. Feeloader (N) - 1. A government agency that makes money from excessive fees
    2. Police departments and courts that can increase their budgets by increasing the number of tickets and fines
    3. Police, fire, and ambulance departments who charge the victims they help for the emergency services they get
    4. A state highway department paid for by tolls
  204. Feuditi (N) - Graffiti arising from a feud
  205. Fidgetbuster (N) - 1. A U.S. Senate debate that keeps legislators alert and concentrating
    2. A toy given to a child to keep him quiet at church
  206. Filtray (V) - Portray in a way that gets through filter software
  207. Fistevities (N) - Celebrations where fistfights break out
  208. Flewpart (N) - A FLYPART that can not be found after a PARTFLY occurs (See GRUMMIES)
  209. Flig (S) - A sound heard in a game show or a video game.
  210. Flyable Part (N) - FLYPART that has not yet flown (See FLYPART)
  211. Flypart (N) - A part in a machine that is spring-loaded, so it flies out of place as soon as the retaining parts are removed (See FLYABLE PART, PARTFLY, FLEWPART, GRUMMIES)
  212. Flyswatter Interchange (N) - A traffic interchange so poorly designed that it looks like they just put a bunch of interchange parts over a clay model of the area, and then took a flyswatter and went SPLAT! An example of a flyswatter interchange can be found in New London, Connecticut, at the intersection of I-95, US-1, and Connecticut 32. Flyswatter interchanges often lack ramps for some movements.
  213. Fogmare (N) - 1. A nightmarishly thick fog
    2. A huge multiple vehicle traffic accident caused by fog
  214. Footbrawl (N) - A football game disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, RACEBRAWL)
  215. Foreploy (N) - Any misrepresentation made for the purpose of getting laid ****
  216. Fortpolio (N) - A set of investments that paralyze your funds
  217. Frankencorn (N) - Genetically engineered grain *
  218. Frankenlight (N) - A light fixture that suddenly changes brightness at long random intervals
  219. Frankenstink (N) - The awful smell in any chemistry laboratory
  220. Frankenstorm (N) - The merging of a hurricane and a winter storm, as happened with Hurricane Sandy
  221. Fratily (AV) - In the manner of a college fraternity
  222. Fraudtopsy (N) - Fake alien autopsy *
  223. Fromare (N) - A nightmare about cheese
  224. Frustralia (N) - A country with a government that frustrates everyone
  225. Fubbafluwatch (N) - The thing you can't think of the name of when you need it * (See SPLIDNOOG)
  226. Funderful (A) - Wonderfully fun
  227. Garbageabetical Order (N) - The result of sorting a database on a field that has not yet been filled in, so the computer sorts the database using the disk trash from previous files that it finds there
  228. Garbaggage (N) - The extra junk added to windows Vista and up to make it work with a cell phone
  229. Gasp Mileage (N) - The shock of your low miles per dollar
  230. Geigers (U) - What a Geiger counter counts
  231. Ghost Handicapped (PH) - Being a non-handicapped person sharing a car with a handicapped person and parking in a handicap space so the handicapped person can use it next
  232. Gigaperson (N) - A unit of measure equal to 1,000,000,000 people used to describe the world population - The world population is approximately 6 gigapersons in 2005 AD. That is 6 billion people (US numbering) or 6 milliard people (world numbering - See SI standards for a chart on the difference between US numbering and world numbering)
  233. Gigglepathic (N) - The portion of the testimony that causes the audience to giggle
  234. Gigli (A) - Very bad: Used to describe the film by the same name. Also describes the economy-destroying platforms of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and John Kerry.
  235. Giraffiti (N) - Vandalism spray-painted very, very high ****
  236. Glibido (N) - All talk and no action ****
  237. Glitchital (A) - The propensity of digital equipment to be glitched (disturbed by transients)
  238. Gnarble (V) - To accidentally encrypt data with garbage for the encryption key
  239. Go-Faster Windows (N) - Slanted windows on buses that make them look ten times faster than they are
  240. Government Waist (N) - Obesity resulting from government-induced stress
  241. Grateless (N) - The opposite of grateful **
  242. Gravitime (N) - The new theory by Larry Robinson that time causes gravity
  243. Gross Ignoramus (A) - 144 times ordinary ignoramus, describing most government meetings, and anyone in favor of DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME * (see DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  244. Growloglyphics (N) - Pictorial how-to instructions on packaging containing plants, bulbs, or seeds (See LAUNDROGLYPHICS, AUDIOVISUALOGLYPHICS)
  245. Grummies (N) - Little parts that get lost easily
  246. Grumptious (N) - Extremely grumpy
  247. Gubble-gubble (S) - An instance of forgetting what you were going to say
  248. Gyrese (N) - Whirling Dervish language
  249. Haberdashanoid (N) - Someone more worried about how his clothes look than about what's going on
  250. Hackmow (N) - The lawn care guy I didn't hire
  251. Haftas (N) - Things that have to be done
  252. Hairanoid (N) - Someone more worried about how his hair looks than about what's going on
  253. Hairdon't (N) - What not to do to your hair (Antonym: Hairdo)
  254. Handmonster (N) - That scary-looking crescent with hands on the "Safe Place" signs
  255. Handsphreak (N) - A person who believes that it is safe to use a hands-free phone while driving
  256. Handsphwreck (N) - A HANDSPHREAK who got into a wreck due to being distracted while talking on a cell phone
  257. Hangtail (N) - That pesky odd-sized page in a newspaper advertising insert
  258. Happenable (A) - Possible to do **
  259. Happeneur (N) - A person who makes things happen **
  260. Harmio (N) - An evil robot droid
  261. Headweak (A) - The opposite of headstrong*
  262. Heedless Horseman (N) - A driver who does not think before doing - Probably has a case of SLOUCHED BRAIN *
  263. Heisenbug (N) - A computer bug that disappears during attempts to locate it* (See BOHR BUG, EINSTEINBUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  264. Hermoan (N) - Female hormone
  265. Hindencar (N) - A hydrogen-powered car, after it exploded (See CAR CHALLENGER, KAHUKUCAR)
  266. Hintron (N) - One single entry in the help menu of software
  267. Hipatitis (N) - Terminal coolness ****
  268. Hollerithabetical Order (A) - In the order of the Hollerith punch card code character set, as sorted on a card sorter, with all capital letters sorted before all lowercase letters, and numbers mixed into the letters
  269. Hollywodd (N) - Any place where all morality is abandoned - Hollywood at its oddest (See CALIFORNICATE)
  270. Hoolywodd (N) - Any place where all morality is abandoned - Hollywood at its oddest (See CALIFORNICATE)
  271. Humanist-Resources Department (N) - A hiring department that unconstitutionally requires all new employees to be POLITICALLY CORRECT
  272. HUNG (AC A) - Hung until no good*
  273. Hunt-and-Park System (N) - A system for government employee parking where the number of PARKING STINKERS issued is greater than the number of parking spaces available
  274. Hurry-Wart (N) - A driver in too much of a hurry to be safe
  275. Hydrogen Power (N) - A scam masquerading as an energy source
  276. Hypnosoft (N) The circling "please wait" swirl on the Windows 7 opening screen that hypnotizes people into buying more Microsoft products
  277. Idiodyssey (N) - A fool's errand, including most of what government makes people do
  278. Ignoranus (N) - 1. A person who is both stupid and an ass ****
    2. A person who is stupid at both ends
  279. Ignority (N) - An ignored minority
  280. Imperforations (N) - Imperfect perforations in bills, stubs, or stamps
  281. Indestructium (N) - The plastic the unopenable clear sales packaging for flash drives is made of
  282. Infilthrator (N) - A person who thinks there is nothing wrong with pornography, and spreads it everywhere he can - an originator of unwanted pornographic email
  283. Infoolence (N) - Bad advice from someone with power
  284. Inoculatte (N) - To take coffee intravenously when you are running late ****
  285. Insatrument (N) - An instrument that lies, malfunctions, or can't be calibrated
  286. Insultant (N) - The consultant a company sends to help and insult you
  287. Intaxication (N) - Euphoria from a tax refund, which lasts only until you realize that it was your money to start with ****
  288. Interget (N) - The Internet, when used for buying or winning prizes
  289. Java Man (N) - Someone with prehistoric roots, who can't function without coffee
  290. John the Worst (N) - The Prince John in the Robin Hood story
  291. Kahukucar (N) - Hybrid car on fire (cf. Kahuku Hawaii 2012 wind farm storage battery building fire)
  292. Karmacide (N) - When one person's karma runs over another person's dogma
  293. Keyboardophile (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a keyboard command over a mouse command
  294. Knarfle (V) - To mess up a computer file
  295. Lampson (U) - The unit (abbr. Ls) of speed of human speech (Normal speech is 200 millilampsons) *
  296. Landscupper (V) - To remove all of the traffic signs restricting turns into or out of a place of business in the process of "landscaping"
  297. Laudiot (V) - A person, usually a politician, who wrongfully expects to be honored
  298. Laundroglyphics (N) - Pictorial how-to instructions on garment tags for doing laundry (See AUDIOVISUALOGLYPHICS, GROWLOGLYPHICS)
  299. Lawdiot (V) - A person, usually a politician, who misunderstands the law
  300. Lawyer (V) - To sic a lawyer on someone
  301. Lawyer Up (V) - To get a lawyer, ending police questioning *
  302. Lawyurp (N) - A lawyer who makes people sick
  303. Leap Year (N) - Nature's revenge on politicians for imposing DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME
  304. Left-overs (N) - The paltry amount we get to keep when the Left takes over the government
  305. Leftunders (N) - Bits of food that fall under the table for the cat to eat (Kit n' Carlisle comic strip)
  306. Legisblabber (N) - Drivel produced by a government legislature (See EXECUBLABBER)
  307. Lemonicious (N) - Faulty (especially used cars)
  308. Lenojustice (N) - Guilty!
  309. Lenolack (N) - Brains not included
  310. Licentious License (N) - A nasty or offensive personalized license plate
  311. Lickproof Stamp (N) - A peel-and-stick postage stamp
  312. Liewitness (N) - A perjurer
  313. Lig (A) - A metal holder for an Ace bandage *
  314. Liminary (A) - Introductory* (See POSTLIMINARY)
  315. Liquese (N) - Drunken speech
  316. Listdexic (A) - Unable to follow a line of text in a wide list
  317. Listenowboss (N) - A boss who creates a traffic hazard by demanding that his employees must always be reachable by cell phone, even when they are driving (This should be a crime)
  318. Looney Eclipse (N) - When people go mad during an eclipse
  319. Lootery (N) - 1. What most people perceive a state lottery to be: A source of loot
    2. The government revenue from a state lottery
  320. Losercase (N) - Regular text typed with the CAPS LOCK key accidentally turned on (See STUPID CASE)
  321. Losiana (N) - Where lost stuff goes
  322. Loyer (N) - A lawyer who loiters in hospitals
  323. Magnum Cum Latte (PH) - Strong coffee (See SUMMA CUM LATTE)
  324. Mallberg (N) - The huge piles of snow seen in shopping malls for weeks after the rest of the snow in the area is gone (See CARBERG, SNOWBERG)
  325. Malquacktice (N, V, A) - Medical malpractice
  326. Mandelbug (N) - A computer bug with an obscure complex cause* (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, EINSTEINBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  327. Manextortment (N) - Management that uses extreme pressure to squeeze every last bit of extra performance from employees - Causes obesity
  328. Meanace (N) - A menace who is also mean
  329. Megabucksic (A) - Extremely expensive
  330. Memobe (N) - One of the little things that carry memos on computer networks
  331. Meringue Noisette (N) - The fake squish sound used when a pie is thrown
  332. Messterpiece (N) - 1. Antonym of masterpiece
    2. The result of liberals trying to fix the economy
    3. The result of a giant food fight.
    4. The result of a ruined recording studio session
  333. Metrefutation (N) - Demonstration that English units work better in the real world
  334. Misteak (N) - A mistake within a mistake, or a recursive misteak (5th word I coined)
  335. Mnemory (N) - Memory based on mnemonics
  336. Mobnopoly (N) - A monopoly created through the use of intellectual property
  337. Moehair (N) - A tuft of hair ripped from any of the Three Stooges
  338. Moostrated (A) - Not enough room to get past a moose in the road
  339. Mousageddon (N) - World War III caused by one wrong mouse click
  340. Mouse Manure (N) - The results produced by bad science
  341. Mouse Potato (N) - Internet addict *
  342. Moused Up (V) - Having just made a mistake with a computer mouse
  343. Mousecar (N) - A Kia Soul (from the ad where mice are driving toasters and the Kia Soul)
  344. Mousemilk (V, N) - Make a big issue out of something inconsequential *
  345. Mousetied (A) - The state of having to stay within a certain distance of the computer or DAW to work the mouse
  346. Mousetrap (N) - A web page that works with a touch screen, but not with a mouse.
  347. Mousfunction (N) - A mouse misfunction
  348. Mousion (N) - The use of a computer mouse
  349. Mouso (N) - Mousographical error*
  350. Mousophile (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a mouse command over a keyboard command
  351. Mousophobe (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a keyboard command over a mouse command
  352. Moustered (N) - Flustered by a malfunctioning mouse
  353. Moustake (N) - A mistaken mouse click
  354. Moustified (A) - Can't use a computer mouse
  355. Moustrained (A) - Not enough room to use a computer mouse
  356. Moustrated (A) - Not enough room to use a computer mouse
  357. Muda (N - pronounced "myooda") - The strange-shaped white lamp globes covering ceiling light fixtures found in government buildings, made in the 1930s and 1940s (They look like the ends of trumpet mutes)
  358. Multiflusher (N) - Someone using a new 1.6 gallon/flush toilet, needing 3 flushes to clear the waste
  359. Muppered (A) - Slapped with a stupid lawsuit to stop MUPPY THREE trading
  360. Muppy Three (N) - MP-3
  361. Muriad (N) - 10,000 mice
  362. MySpite (N) - A MySpace account used to spite other people
  363. Nagravating (A) - Naggingly aghravating (e.g. Political Correctness)
  364. Nap Up (V) - The act of a nap sneaking up on someone ("It just napped up on me.")
  365. Nar (N) - The whole picture (instead of two seminars)
  366. Nasticulous (A) - Ridiculously nasty
  367. Nastorious (A) - Notoriously nasty
  368. Nastycar (N) - An auto race that is won by causing opponents to crash (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  369. Naughty-Bits-Deleted-For-Tat (PH) - Overcensorship (by security software) of perfectly harmless phrases containing words that also have obscene definitions
  370. Navigrabber (N) - A web advertisement that expands to cover the navigation buttons on a web page, so you can't leave until the ad finishes playing
  371. Neat Czar (N) - A public official who requires all properties to be clean, neat, and tidy
  372. Necessary Security (PH) - Term reserved for a kit consisting of a blanket and a pacifier
  373. Nerble (N) - A pause in an online video because the data stream can't keep up with the playback
  374. Newlywife (N) - What a husband proudly calls his new wife
  375. Nignull (N) - The removal of night prophesied in Revelation
  376. Nividue (N) - Snow on the ground
  377. Nogbutt (N) - A New-Year's Eve drunk making a donkey's rear end of himself
  378. Norton (V) - To fuss around while getting ready to write
  379. Noyed (N) - A paranoid annoyed by a noise
  380. Nurge (V) - To repeatedly move a car closer to the intersection, as if that could make the light turn green faster - Actually, it can do the opposite, if the car moves off of the detector (leaving it empty) *
  381. Nurny (N) - A part from a plastic model kit that is used for some other purpose
  382. Nutwork (N) - A TV network that cancels all of the good shows
  383. Obesistress (N) - Undue stress that causes obesity
  384. Obnoxage (N) - The amount of OBNOXITY in a system
  385. Obnoxity (N) - A high degree of obnoxiousness
  386. Obsoloot (N) - Money dishonestly earned by companies who force people to buy the new product by no longer supporting the old product - Microsoft and Intel are prime examples
  387. Offertunity (N) - The time in the church service when they take the offering
  388. Omegalomaniac (N) - A person who is afraid of the end of the world
  389. Oniondated (A) - Overcome by onion flatus
  390. Orkadork (N) - The woman on the ad, who says, "Orca! Orca! Oh! I Love Orca!"
  391. Osaddamize (V) - 1. What terrorists do to people
    2. Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Barack Obama oppressing people
    3. Government imposing insensitive overkill security to prevent terrorism
  392. Osaddamized (A) - 1. Describing a victim of terrorism
    2. Describing victims of Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Barack Obama oppressing people
    3. Describing the victims of insensitive overkill security to prevent terrorism
  393. Ostensopornosis (N) - A degenerate disease, with symptoms of extreme cravings for pornography ****
  394. Outmoot (V) - To make the mootest point in the debate
  395. Palindnilap (N) - The word "palindrome" rewritten as a palindrome (or a PALINDNILAP)
  396. Paralyze Parking (N) - 1. Parking arranged where cars are parked parallel to the traffic lanes - Every time someone wants to enter or leave a parking space, he has to block a lane, paralyzing traffic behind that space
    2. The medical results of careless maneuvering while parking
  397. Parapathetic (A) - Not knowing where one is going
  398. Parking Stinkers (N) - Stickers issued for government parking, so employees must pay a kickback to be able to go to work
  399. Parodig (N) - A parody that makes a sarcastic dig at something or someone
  400. Partfly (N) - One instance of what happens when you release the retaining parts holding a FLYPART
  401. Passturn (N) - The impatient driver who passes your car, then slows down and blocks you while waiting to turn left into his driveway
  402. Pay-Per-Bag Trash Stinkers (N) - Stickers required to be paid for and put on trash bags by the government-owned-monopoly municipal trash collection system
  403. Paypref (N) - Paper or plastic (See BAGPREF)
  404. Pedapulate (N) - To manipulate something with a foot
  405. Pedasstrian (N) - A person who crosses the street against the light
  406. Pedesstalrian (N) - The pedestrians the government puts on a pedestal when writing traffic laws
  407. Pedesturnated (A) - Describing a driver who starts to turn left through a gap in high-speed traffic, and is blocked in the way of the high speed traffic by a pedestrian who starts to cross right in front of him
  408. Pencilvania (N) - Where all the writing instruments disappear to, when you need to write
  409. Penlout (N) - The store cashier who takes your pen after you write a check, thinking it belongs to the store
  410. Pentupium (N) - A souped-up Pentium computer
  411. Percussive Maintenance (N) - Adding more whack to anything that is out of whack *
  412. Perspicapacious (A) - Having plenty of perspicacity
  413. Pervertity (N) - The capacity to CALIFORNICATE *
  414. Pessimum (A) - Antonym of optimum*
  415. Pestrian (N) - A pedestrian who believes that pedestrians always have the right of way, and who exercises this belief, even at his own peril, or even when it breaks the law
  416. Phake (A) - Describing something fake, used to PHOOL people into doing something PHOOLISH
  417. Phishing (N) - Stealing a company's ID, then using it to steal the IDs of others * (See PHAKE, PHOOL, PHOOLISH)
  418. Phobiac (N) - Someone afraid of everything
  419. Phone-pong (N) - 1. A game where two people alternately leave messages asking for callbacks on each other's answering machines
    2. A game where a person repeatedly changes long-distance carriers to get all of the freebies
  420. Phoney (A) - Always on a cell phone
  421. Phoography (N) - PHAKE Photography (See FAUXTOGRAPHY, PHAKE)
  422. Phool (V) - To trick someone into doing something PHOOLISH with PHAKE information
  423. Phoolish (A) - Describing doing something that compromises security or an identity after reading PHAKE information
  424. Photoblast (N) - The disconcerting expansion of a picture as the mouse pointer passes over it
  425. Photohoarder (N) - The website developer who wants you to be able to see his photos, but not save copies of them
  426. Phraud (N) - The criminal act of PHOOLING people by PHISHING with PHAKE spoofed spam emails
  427. Pickanoid (N) - A person who gets paranoid over the tiniest annoyances
  428. Pickanweedia (N) - The faulty parts of Wikipedia
  429. Pickupable (A) - Able to be picked up by hand
  430. Pickybody (N) - 1. A person who gets very upset at the tiniest annoyances
    2. A person who demands that government shield him from the tiniest annoyances
  431. Pindler (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PNDLR (See PRIND..., PRINO...)
  432. Pixel Dust (N) - Individual pixels showing the wrong color due to digital photo format conversion (example: .bmp image converted to .jpg image)
  433. Plausar (N) - A massive object that emits pulses that make impossible things look plausible
  434. Plause (V) - To be plausible
  435. Plutonic Relationship (PH) - A relationship between two people that often volcanically erupts
  436. Pocket Dial (V) - To accidentally dial a cell phone while sitting on it in your pocket *
  437. Political Correction (PH) - A religious belief that was hijacked from the Baha'i Faith and made political
  438. Polyunfaturated (A) - Describing fat that is polyunsaturated
  439. Pooforations (N) - Perforations that go poof (disappear) when you try to tear along them
  440. Pook (S) - Microsoft Update interrupting your work (cf the sound effect Windows plays for the update icon)
  441. Poppaea Sabina (N) - The biological specie of an alleged race of space aliens, according to one pseudoscientist *
  442. Porndupe (N) - A victim of the black-eye prank (a cylinder supposedly containing "naughty" pictures)
  443. Postliminary (A) - Describing the main event (See LIMINARY)
  444. Postphone (V) - To send notice by telephone that a meeting is rescheduled to a later date (The first word I coined, at age 8)
  445. POTM bug (AC N) - Phase-Of-The-Moon Bug, a computer bug that occurs under strange conditions: The original POTM bug occurred on an early computer, where someone got the idea of adding the phase of the moon to the system clock output. The line was one character too long on Wednesdays in September when the phase was past the first or third quarter, causing the time buffer to overflow into the next byte, allocated for a different use.* (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, EINSTEINBUG, MANDELBUG)
  446. Prairie-Dogging (V) - Popping up over the cubicle walls whenever something happens in the office *
  447. Pre-Corrodium (N) - What batteries are made of (See CORRODIUM)
  448. Pre-Numbskull Agreement (N) - An agreement designed to keep someone stupid enough to marry a golddigger from losing his shirt *
  449. Predator Creditor (N) - A creditor who makes a loan, expecting to make money by foreclosing on it
  450. Prephone (V) - To move the time of a meeting or event earlier by using a telephone *
  451. Prepone (V) - To move the time of a meeting or event earlier *
  452. Presenteeism (N) - Going to work when you are sick (Actual economics term) *
  453. Prindel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  454. Prindetuwun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND21 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  455. Prindewun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND1 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  456. Prindgur (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDGr (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  457. Prindhur (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDHr (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  458. Prindsel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDSL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  459. Prindud (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND⇑⇓ (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  460. Prinodel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNODL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  461. Prinodsel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNODSL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  462. Prinodetuwun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNOD21 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  463. Prinodewun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNOD1 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  464. Pro-Bonehead (A) - Describing a person who gets a lousy lawyer for free (pro-bono), rather than hiring a good one
  465. Probgram (N) - A program with a problem with its operation
  466. Produck (N) - A fake product
  467. Prodyuct (N) - A badly made product
  468. Purdon't (IJ) - What Indiana University fans shout when the team is playing against Purdue
  469. Purloot (N) - Purloined loot, as opposed to ordinary loot
  470. Quabble (N) - A squabble about quibbling
  471. Quadnery (N) - The question: Is it surround sound or not?
  472. Quety (N) - A questionable etymology (Example: They call a head statue a "bust" because the rest of it got busted off)
  473. Queueue (N) - A very long queue
  474. Racebrawl (N) - An auto race disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, NASTYCAR)
  475. Racestration (N) - Frustration with racial tension
  476. Racket Science (N) - 1. The bad science used to create government regulations
    2. The science used by con men
  477. Ramboast (N) - An overconfident swagger
  478. Ramskunktious (A) - Describing the behavior of a skunk (or a politician)
  479. Ransume (N - Pronounced "Ran-zoo-may") - The requirement of a well-written resume, demanded by a right-brained human resources manager: It keeps the left-brained people who are more suited to a technical job from being hired. (See HUMANIST-RESOURCES DEPARTMENT, RIGHTBRAIN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT)
  480. Recomfortable (A) - To be comfortable again after becoming uncomfortable
  481. Recumbering (V) - Riding a recumbent bicycle *
  482. Religiophobia (N) - The fear or hatred of religious beliefs
  483. Religiophobic (A) - Of the fear or hatred of religious beliefs
  484. Repeatza (N) - A pizza that produces a lot of gas when eaten (also REPIZZA)
  485. Repizza (N) - A pizza that produces a lot of gas when eaten (also REPEATZA)
  486. Repoot (N) - Ill repute, or bad character
  487. Resiglue (N) - Excess glue that must be removed
  488. Respensibility (N) - The responsibility for causing an excess expense
  489. Resumemail (N) - Sending a resume by email, as many employers require now
  490. Retalitarian (N, A) - The belief in retaliating against everything that you don't like
  491. Rightbrain-Resources Department (N) - A human-resources department that concentrates on how well-written a resume is, instead of whether left-brained people are more suited to a technical job than people who write resumes well (See HUMANIST-RESOURCES DEPARTMENT, RANSUME)
  492. Road Island (N) - When all of the roads leading to where you need to go to are closed
  493. Rotadial (V) - To pretend you have a rotary dial phone, so a VOICE JAIL system will send you to a real person
  494. Rotisserate (V) - To roll slowly while sunbathing
  495. Roundcornercopia (N) - The craze for putting round corners on web page boxes, using unnecessary download bandwidth
  496. Runfer (N) - A trip taken to go get something
  497. Samplitude (N) - The strength of the signal being digitally sampled
  498. Scamotosis (N) - A fake disease that causes people to scam
  499. Scaredo (N) - Hair standing straight up
  500. Scareshow (N) - A TV show designed to scare people with a disaster with a very low probability of occurring, often used for political purposes (See DISASTEROID)
  501. Schooltreacher (N) - A teacher who imposes political beliefs on pupils
  502. Schroedingbug (N) - A computer bug that is not noticed until the source code is read* (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, MANDELBUG, EINSTEINBUG, POTM BUG)
  503. Screwb (N) - The device that messes up
  504. Screwd (A) - Past tense of "Shrewd"
  505. Scrolljam (N) - The inability to scroll down a web page quickly, because the moving ad steals all of the CPU time
  506. Scrope (V) - Past tense of "scrape"
  507. Scrote (V) - Past tense of SCRUTE
  508. Scrute (V) - To Scrutinize
  509. Sculptduggery (N) - 1. Fake sculptures
    2. Weight-loss clinic body-sculpting claims
  510. Scumquat (N) - Porn site webmaster
  511. Seh (PN) - A neutral gender singular subject pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHR, SEHS)
  512. Sehm (PN) - A neutral gender singular object pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHMSELF, SEHR, SEHS)
  513. Sehmself (PN) - A neutral gender singular reflexive pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHR, SEHS)
  514. Sehr (A) - A neutral gender singular possessive adjective used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHS)
  515. Sehs (PN) - A neutral gender singular possessive pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHR)
  516. Self-Definition (N) - see SELF-DEFINITION
  517. Self Esteam (N) - The steam-boiler temper of a violent man
  518. Sell Phone (N) - What a telemarketer calls you with *
  519. Senioritis (N) - The high-school fear of being about to go out on your own
  520. Sesquipickup (N) - A pickup truck with dual wheels on the back
  521. Sesquisemi (A) - Three quarters of something (See TRIDEMISEMI)
  522. Sesquisemicircle (N) - Three quarters of a circle (See TRIDEMISEMICIRCLE)
  523. Sesquispeech (N) - A half-hour speech delivered in 45 minutes
  524. Sheng Phooey (PH) - A means of harmonizing an office or home so nobody can find anything
  525. Shotgun Art (N) - A painting created by hanging cans of paint over a canvas, and then shooting at them
  526. Sinfoul (A) - Extremely sinful, to the point of offending everyone
  527. Skitted (A) - Involuntarily presented with a skit
  528. Skulldrudgery (N) - Having to think really HARD
  529. Skunkee (N) - The recipient of skunk effluent
  530. Skunkoleum (N) - Skunk effluent
  531. Sloke (N) - A slowpoke (the 2nd word I coined)
  532. Slouched Brain (N) - A disease politicians and others get, which causes an inability to think
  533. Smashcase (N) - Regular text forced into all-uppercase or all-lowercase by the application program, destroying the original case the user wanted
  534. Smudge Pot (N) - 1. Heater used to prevent citrus fruit from freezing on the tree
    2. Old-style highway road flare
  535. Snacrifice (N) - Giving up your favorite snack to please other people*
  536. Sneak Oil (N) - A scam
  537. Sneakret (N) - A sneaky secret (The 3rd word I coined)
  538. Sneakret Exit (N) - An exit only you know about, so you can sneak out
  539. Sneasoning (V) - Sneezing over the food you are cooking
  540. Snippage (N) - The portion edited out of the sender's email in the reply
  541. Snoozeletter (N) - A boring newsletter
  542. Snowberg (N) - A pile of ice or snow left by a snowplow on the sidewalk you are required to keep clear of snow (See CARBERG, MALLBERG)
  543. Snorama (N) - A snoring demonstration
  544. Snowfakes (n) - Eight-pointed paper snowflakes made in grade school, because the teacher can't remember how to make six-pointed ones
  545. Soduk (N) - The award given to the worst of anything (Kudos spelled backwards)
  546. Soundbitten (A) - Converted into a soundbite **
  547. Speediot (N) - 1. A driver who almost always exceeds the speed limit
    2. A legislator who enacts laws that prohibit the defensive driving technique needed to deal with tailgaters
  548. Spider of Damocles (PH) - A spider on the ceiling, which crawls until it is directly over you, and then stops and stays there: You keep watching it nervously, because it might drop on you. Often disrupts meetings.
  549. Spin The Schedule (PH) - A game played by TV network officials, always reshuffling shows so your two favorite shows are on at the same time
  550. Splidnoog (N) - What you call the thing you can't remember the name of, until you remember it* (See FUBBAFLUWATCH)
  551. Spoo! (IJ) - Exclamation made when someone does something deliberately ("oops" spelled backwards) *
  552. Spoogilistics (N) - The art of doing things on purpose just to irritate someone
  553. Spoot (S) - The sound the cheap little bell on 1930s Underwood typewriters made
  554. Spootledop (N) - A tall pole with a red disc on top, used to tell a golfer where the cup is when the green is hidden behind a hill when viewed from the tee
  555. Spottled (A) - Blinded by flash cameras
  556. Spylore (N) - Stories told and retold by spies
  557. Squiddle (V) - Walk like a squid
  558. Stacled (A) - Hindered by obstacles or government regulation
  559. Stayintheredness (N) - Inertia or friction *
  560. Stoogeproofing (V, N) - Preventing people who act like the Three Stooges from messing things up
  561. Stoogidity (A) - Describing behavior like that of the Three Stooges
  562. Stoogification (N) - An effect of an important meeting that causes people to imitate the Three Stooges
  563. Stoogilistics (N) - The art of getting into fights like the Three Stooges
  564. Stooopid (N) - Extremely stupid
  565. Stuffalanche (N) - The result of everything falling from shelves
  566. Stupid Case (N) - Regular text typed with the CAPS LOCK key accidentally turned on (See LOSERCASE)
  567. Stupident (N) - A student who doesn't go to class
  568. Stupidiot (N) - 1. A stupid idiot
    2. A bad driver who does not think of the safety of others
  569. Stupidphone (N) - A smartphone that causes trouble, including auto accidents
  570. Suckurity (N) - Intrusive overkill security measures (See OSADDAMIZE)
  571. Suicycling (v) - Riding a bicycle in a dangerous, illegal manner (such as going the wrong way on a ONE-WAY street)
  572. Summa Cum Latte (PH) - The strongest coffee possible (See MAGNUM CUM LATTE)
  573. Sustart (N) - Art created for sale the purpose of sustenance
  574. Tackle Pinochle (N) - A card game where people get mad and chase each other around the room * (See CONTACT BRIDGE)
  575. Tackle Poker (N) - A card game where people get mad, chase each other, and accuse each other of cheating, after trying to play poker with a pinochle deck (See TACKLE PINOCHLE)
  576. Takeapartable (A) - The ability to be easily taken apart
  577. Tange (V) - To be tangible (See FEASE)
  578. Tardoff (N) - A lateness contest
  579. Technophobiatric (N) - A person who fears the existence of technology
  580. Technobsolescence (N) - Obsolescence of recording formats caused by new technology, resulting in the unreadability of some treasured data, video recordings, and audio recordings
  581. Ted (N) - The stuffing inside a teddy bear
  582. Teevium (N) - The tedium that most TV programs are made of
  583. Telepathetic (N) - A poor example of an attempt at telepathy
  584. Televisium (N) - What TV transmissions are made of
  585. Terabucks (N) - A unit of measure equal to $1,000,000,000,000 used to denote the size of the US national debt or the size of the world money supply: Equal to $1 trillion (US) or $1 Billion (world numbering system, but in US dollars. Tera = metric prefix for 1,000,000,000,000 - See SI standards for a chart on the difference between US numbering and world numbering.)
  586. Textapostachatammunication (V) - The means of communication used by most of today's kids (Zits comic strip)
  587. Textort (V) - To require a long essay paper (as a schoolteacher would)
  588. Thankrupt (A) - Discounting blessings
  589. Thermonuclear Divorce (PH) - Acrimony in matrimony, resulting in alimony
  590. Thinkrupt (A) - Incapable of rational thought
  591. Third-Grade Trump (PH) - A Namecaller
  592. Thirdright (A) - Not quite being forthright
  593. Threeality (N) - The quality of the realism of a three-dimensional display or surround sound system
  594. Threek (N) - 1. A plastic fork that has lost one of the tines
    2. A fork with three tines *
  595. Thumper (N) - A subwoofer (cf Tweeter, Squeaker, Squawker, and Woofer) - the bane of the QUIETESSIMALITE (see QUIETESSIMALITE in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  596. Timespeed (N) - 299792458 meters per second in the time dimension (See TRIGONORELATIVITY)
  597. Tobble (V) - To hit a keyboard key that makes all of the characters on the screen act drunk (misprint of "toggle")
  598. Toolnik (N) - A tool coveter, or someone who goes nuts over tools
  599. Trash Stinkers (N) - Stickers required by government to pay for having your trash picked up, so people must pay a kickback to get rid of trash - Causes illegal dumping
  600. Trashay (V, N) - How a strumpet walks
  601. Tridemisemi (A) - Three quarters of (See SESQUISEMI)
  602. Tridemisemicircle (N) - Three quarters of a circle (See SESQUISEMICIRCLE)
  603. Trigonorelativity (N) - An algebraic transformation of Einstein's relativity done by Larry Robinson (author of this page) - This change makes relativity easier to understand, and also makes a few new predictions
  604. Tritiny (N) - The crime of triteness
  605. Trookie (N) - A factory mistake result: a sandwich cookie with three cookie layers and two filling layers
  606. Tryfail (N) - The failed result of a PRODUCK test
  607. Twitblaster (N) - A twit who makes negative Twitter twits
  608. Typogoofical Error (N) - A keyboarding misteak that finds its way into the finished product
  609. Typosetter (N) - A typesetter who makes typos (See TYPSETTER, TYPOGOOFICAL ERROR)
  610. Typost (N) - A typist who makes TYPOGOOFICAL ERRORS
  611. Typsetter (N) - TYPOSETTER
  612. Ucro (U) - Micro, meaning one millionth of (Abbr: u)
  613. Ugly Truckling (N) - Suzuki Sidekick
  614. Ugpleat (N) - The backside of a pleat, seen only when the garment is inside out
  615. Umbojay (N) - The hooked end of an umbrella handle
  616. Umpdark (N) - Whatever blocks the umpire from seeing the play
  617. Umph (N) - 1. One third of a victory
    2. One third of the power of a British sports car
  618. Un-Brainer (N) - Something so stupid that nobody with an actual brain would do it
  619. Unboit (V) - To recover after saying "toy boat" 10 times really fast
  620. Undo Pain - 1. The painful act of being forced to undo good work
    2. Pain caused by Daylight-Stupid Time, or other government activities
  621. Undon't (V) - Do
  622. Unempage (V, pronounced "un-em-PAZH") - To require people to turn off their pagers
  623. Unintendo (N) - Unintended by-product of playing video games
  624. Unputered (A) - Describing a person who either has no computer, or has no computer knowledge
  625. Upperleftswooper (N) - A web page with a curved logo covering the upper left corner - Very trite
  626. Usility (A) - The utility-usefulness index, calculated by taking the average of utility and usefulness
  627. Utensile Strength (N) - The amount of force a plastic fork can take before it breaks into a THREEK
  628. Utopitarian (N) - 1. Wanting the world of John Lennon's song "Imagine"
    2. Wanting a world where nobody has to work
  629. Vecdirt (N) - The direction and distance to the dirt (chief usage is political)
  630. Veni Vidi Vegi (PH) - "I came, I saw, I vegetated." *
  631. Vertifit (V) - To repeatedly try to design a web page to exactly fit the monitor viewport in the vertical direction, a futile pursuit because there is no way to make it work on all computers, browsers, screen resolutions, and window sizes
  632. Viagravated (A) - Upset by all of the spam advertising Viagra
  633. Vigorovated (A) - Upset by all of the spam advertising fake Viagra
  634. Vlig (A) - A Velcro holder for an Ace bandage (See LIG)
  635. Voice Jail (N) - An automated answering system without a choice for the reason of your call, which will not let you talk to a real person *
  636. Warlorn (A) - The emotional feeling of dismay that the country is at war
  637. Wastium (N) - The chemical element that, when added to anything else, turns it into waste
  638. Webster (N) - A World Wide Web user
  639. Windroid (N) - A Windows computer
  640. Woodsmoker (N) - An environmentalist who uses a wood stove (renewable resource), smogging up the neighborhood
  641. Worng (N) - A wrong wrong
  642. Writeproof Paper (N) - Paper with a coating that keeps pens from writing on it (e.g. infrared printer paper)
  643. Yehudi Menuhenpecked (A) - Unable to find the correct menu to change a computer setting in
  644. Yellbin (N) - Where people go when they are angry
  645. Yellybake (V) - To be very vocal about a problem
  646. Yipe-o (N) - A superobvious typo
  647. Yougle (V) - To say, "You! You! It's always about you!"
  648. Yougled (A) - The feeling you get when your spouse says, "You! You! It's always about you!" when it's really about something else
  649. Yubble (V) - Transmitting data, as shown by the blinking light on the modem
  650. Yuggle (V) - Dithering back and forth, such as a wobbling wheel on a shopping cart
  651. Zxnrbl (N, pronounced "ZNER-ble") - A scrambling of a digital transmission or file



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