About life, driving, and computers

Updated 08/19/22

Some of the things that happen in life are so STOOOPID that there are no words to describe them. Or at least there weren't any. Here are a few words to fill in the gap.

  1. Abluton (N) - The unit charge of cleanliness (Antonym: ENTROPON)
  2. Ackpuce (N) - The ugliest color ever created
  3. Adipositron (N) - The unit charge of obesity
  4. Alice Gearing (N) - Mishearing of Aliskiren (a hypertension drug)
  5. Alpoet (N) - Writer of dog-food commercials
  6. American Excuse Card (N) - Any credit card used to spend money beyond one's means (See EGOCARD)
  7. Andage (N) - Multiple repetitions of "Oh! One more thing!" (cf. the "Columbo" TV series.)
  8. Angry Fruit Cocktail (N) - Too much clutter on a web page (Also Angry Fruit Salad *)
  9. Angry Fruit Cocktail With Bugs (N) - Too much clutter on a web page, along with frenzied motion
  10. Angry Swarming Bugs (N) - Too much animation on a web page
  11. Anonnymouse (N) - Someone too timid to give his name.
  12. Anonymice (N) - Anonymous sources
  13. Arachnoleptic Fit (N) - The frantic dance performed just after walking through a spider web ****
  14. Arsday (N) - Thursday (from the practice of using R for Thursday in college schedules of classes)
  15. Artchitect (N) - An architect who places the beauty he can create above the functionality of the building
  16. Artchitecture (N) - The design of a building that has beauty, but no functionality
  17. ASCIIbetical Order (A) - In the order of the ASCII character set, with all capital letters sorted before all lowercase letters
  18. ASOTV (PH) - As Seen On TV
  19. Assified Clad (N) - An annoying classified ad
  20. Aswat (A) - In the direction of the swat
  21. Attidude (N) - The laid-back overconfidence of a novice
  22. Audiovisualoglyphics (N) - Pictorial symbols on the buttons of a remote control for audio-visual equipment (See LAUNDROGLYPHICS, GROWLOGLYPHICS)
  23. Autocomputotastrophe (N) - An automobile crash caused by the failure of the on-board computer
  24. Autolescent (N) - A very bad driver, who is self-centered in nature
  25. Autolopithicus (N) - A driver with prehistoric roots, who believes that there is nothing wrong with drinking and driving, breaking traffic laws, and endangering other motorists (See AUTOLESCENT) (Also see SQUATWELLIAN in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  26. Baccalottery (N) - The gamble you make when you get a fake diploma instead of attending classes
  27. Badzoic Era (N) - The geologic age when everything in the world started to go wrong
  28. Bagpref (N) - Paper or plastic (See PAYPREF)
  29. Bambooze (V) - What alcoholic beverages do to the brain
  30. Barghum (N) - The sticky syrup on everything in a bar, resulting from spilled beer
  31. Bargoon (N) - A bargain that turns out to not be such a bargain
  32. Basebrawl (N) - A game, in which people combine playing baseball with having bench-clearing fights (See BASKETBRAWL, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  33. Basilicates (N) - The minerals they make basilicas out of
  34. Basketbrawl (N) - 1. A game, in which people combine playing basketball with having bench-clearing fights
    2. Indiana Pacers vs Detroit Pistons 11/20/2004 (See BASEBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  35. Bawl Game (N) - How liberals get their way * (See BRAWL GAME)
  36. Beachketball (N) - Basketball played with a beach ball and huge hoops
  37. Bean DP (N) - Using a computer to do bean-counting inventory
  38. Beelzebug (N) - Satan, in the form of a mosquito in your bedroom at 3 am - Cannot be cast out ****
  39. Beeriad (N) - 10000 cans of beer
  40. Biadversarial (A) - Describing sports where two teams play against each other
  41. Bicker Bonnet (N) - The hat that is worn when the person is argumentative
  42. Bidydle (N) - A bicycle used to break traffic laws
  43. Big Band Theory (PH) - The origin of the universe, according to "The Picture Book of Relativity"
  44. Big Bother (N) - Intrusive government
  45. Bilkage (N) - Money taken by a scam
  46. Billionormilliarding (V) - Getting the US numbering system mixed up with the world numbering system (See SI standards for a chart showing the differences between the numbering systems)
  47. Bimb (N) - One of a series of globular light fixtures, each hanging at the bottom of its own loop of festoon wiring, which is strung between ceiling or post attachment points
  48. Bioblat (N, V, IJ) - Passing gas
  49. Bisackual (N) - Will take either paper or plastic sacks
  50. Bituperate (V) - To verbally abuse people for doing either of the only two available alternatives
  51. Blabentaior (N) - A news commentator who does nothing but blab and blab
  52. Blabber Incontinence (N) - "I'm talking, and I can't shut up!"
  53. Blabberhea (N) - The disease that causes non-stop talking
  54. Blabbertyjabbrer (S) - 1. Everyone talking at once
    2. The sound of a phone scrambler
    3. Receiving a single-sideband signal on an amplitude-modulated receiver
  55. Blabbery (N) - 1. The misdemeanor of talking too much
    2. Using drivel to mislead people
  56. Blabiot (N) - An idiot who won't shut up
  57. Blatticide (N) - The act of killing roaches *
  58. Blearp (N) - A tail light of a car that looks like a stretched raindrop lying on its side
  59. Blebium (N) - The chemical that pimples are made of
  60. BLecc6 (IJ - pronounced "bleksix") - The page author's reaction to the overcoverage of Michael Jackson's death (BLecc6 was the Captcha security code when the page author posted a message complaining about the overcoverage.)
  61. Blig (S) - A very short organ note or chord
  62. Bligs (N) - Obligations
  63. Blooium (N) - The substance that makes equipment go blooey
  64. Bluk (N, A) - Pertaining to advertisements received through email (cf. Bulk)
  65. Blurp (V) - To blur the mouth of someone who says a bad word on TV, as well as muting the sound
  66. Boattom (N) - The underside of a watercraft
  67. Boditi (N) - A tattoo (body graffiti)
  68. BOGO (AC) - Buy one - Get one (free) *
  69. Bohr Bug (N) - A repeatable computer bug * (See EINSTEINBUG, HEISENBUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  70. Boiped To Death (PH) - Inundated with telemarketing phone calls (from the 'boip' sound)
  71. Bomblastic (A) - Describing the noise of a terrorist bomb going off as "violating the noise ordinance"
  72. Boombastic (A) - Describing the sound of a passing BOOMCAR
  73. Boomcar (N) - An automobile with a booming THUMPER *
  74. Bosstastrophe (N) - An automobile accident caused by the boss yelling at the driver (his employee) over a cell phone
  75. Bothsider (N) - A driver who drives in the center lane of a one-way street, trying to get the first parking space found on either side - usually causes an accident trying to get the space
  76. Botto (N) - An image of an ordinary incandescent light bulb used to portray a fake UFO
  77. Bozone (N) - A substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating ****
  78. Braaacket (N) - The unfair tournament bracket
  79. Bragium (N) - A chemical substance that makes people brag
  80. Brain Bucket (N) - Safety helmet *
  81. Brain Remover (N) - An alcoholic beverage that is 100 proof or higher - Science has now shown that excessive drinking causes the brain to shrink and lose function - Could be a cause of SLOUCHED BRAIN
  82. Bratosaurus (N) - Where brats (bratwurst) come from
  83. Brawl Game (N) - A sporting event disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  84. Brimlets (N) - Diabetic testing supplies (ad by Wilford Brimley)
  85. Broker (A) - What you become after you use the services of one
  86. Browseocoveter (N) - A web page designer who wants to keep you from using your browser controls while on his website
  87. Brushery (N) - A truckload of brush that has been cut-down and removed
  88. Brute and Verify (A) - Describing computer menus that drive you nuts making sure you want to do what you did
  89. Bustworthy (A) - Easily broken
  90. CaCaCase (N) - Text with random shifts between uppercase and lowercase - eXamPlE: vERy aNnOYIng
  91. Cacajillion (U) - The total number of things that can possibly go wrong **
  92. Caffiend (N) - A person who can't get through the day without caffeine (See DECAFALON)
  93. Californicate (V) - 1. To behave like HOLLYWODD actors and actresses do in TV shows
    2. To believe that the California government actually knows what it is doing
  94. Californitritus (N) - All of those labels on equipment saying that it contains something "known to the State of California" to be harmful in some obscure way or another - Treat them as the trash they are, because California doesn't really have any proof to back up what it "knows"
  95. Candbid (V) - Accidentally bidding on an item at an auction, by inadvertently making a gesture
  96. Car Challenger (N) - A HINDENCAR
  97. Car Hockey (N) - 1. Figure 8 racing 2. NASCAR racing
  98. Carberg (N) - A chunk of ice or snow attached to the back of a car fender (See MALLBERG, SNOWBERG)
  99. Cannonboxclog (N) - A pool filter clogged with Progressive Insurance boxes
  100. Cansas (N) - A recycle bin full of cans, rattling in the wind
  101. Canucopia (N) - Trash cans of plenty
  102. Cashatrophic (A) - Out of money
  103. Cashtration (N) - The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period ****
  104. Caterpallor (N) - The color you turn after finding half a worm in your apple ****
  105. Celebratty (A) - Describing a well-known musician, actor, or public figure acting like a spoiled brat
  106. Celebraty (N) - A well-known musician, actor, or public figure who acts like a spoiled brat
  107. Cellophase (N) - To phase into and out of paying attention to your driving, because you are on a cell phone
  108. Cellublab (N) - One side of a cell phone conversation heard by others in the room (See CELLVERSATION)
  109. Cellulite Phone (N) - A portable phone, because you don't have to run to answer it, you gain weight
  110. Cellupacifier (N) - A sledgehammer used to permanently silence cellular phones
  111. Cellusnapture (N) - Catching someone in a ridiculous pose with a cell phone camera
  112. Celluyodel (S) - A ringing cellular phone driving people nuts
  113. Cellversation (N) - A person, distracting others by apparently talking to himself, who is actually on a cellular phone (See CELLUBLAB)
  114. Cesspoo (N) - The detritus that is found in a cesspool
  115. Cheepcare (N) - Healthcare that cheeps out
  116. Cheaticap (N) - 1. A handicap that allows a player to cheat
    2. Parking in a handicap parking space when you are not handicapped
  117. Choon (N) - 1. The shape of one section of a hanging insulator used to support megavolt power lines from poles
    2. Anything else the same shape (a small bell)
  118. Chopera (N) - An opera interrupted by a power failure
  119. Chortleography (N) - The art of composing dance steps or laws that are funny
  120. Cigabutt (N) - The most often distributed litter, a cigarette butt
  121. Cigliar (N) - Someone who says he quit smoking, but didn't
  122. Cisco Kid, The (N) - The icon for "Network drive not available" (looks like a man in a cowboy hat on a low-resolution monitor)
  123. Clairbrainiant (A) - ODDIOTIC
  124. Cliptomaniac (N) - A kleptomaniac who steals only paper clips (4th word I coined)
  125. Clockmare (N) - 1. How DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME messes up things
    2. Being the janitor of a building with 157 public clocks on the day the time changes for DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME
  126. Clocktonite (N) - The mysterious substance inside an office clock that slows down civil service workers after 2 pm
  127. Clue-by-four (N) - The act of adding whack to something that is out of whack
  128. Coblabberate (V) - To cooperate through total blabber
  129. Coffee o'Clock (PH) - Time for coffee
  130. Coffee oneself into the restroom (V PH) - Drink so much coffee that you need the restroom
  131. Cogblat (S) - The clash of gears caused by a driver trying to learn to drive a stick shift
  132. Coinologium (N) - Any word coined from the name of some obscure, long-forgotten event or place
  133. Commit Truth (V) - To tell the truth, even though it is not within the guidelines of POLITICAL CORRECTION **
  134. Complosion (N) - An explosion intended to compress matter, Erroneously called "implosion"
  135. Conphylactic (N) - A leaky condom
  136. Contact Bridge (N) - A card game where people get mad and chase each other around the room (See TACKLE PINOCHLE)
  137. Copyrat (N) - A copyright holder who will not place a discontinued product in the public domain, keeping those who need it from getting it
  138. Cordurog (N) - A single repetition of the ridges in corduroy material (See CORRUG)
  139. Corrodium (N) - What dead batteries are made of (See PRE-CORRODIUM)
  140. Corrodium Warning (N) - "Do not lose this radio in closet while installing dead batteries."
  141. Corrug (N) - A single repetition of the folds in the center of corrugated cardboard (See CORDUROG)
  142. COVIDictator (V) - A politician who dictates draconian rules to fight the virus.
  143. Crastinator (N) - A person adept at delaying, who has not yet turned professional
  144. Credirt (N) - A very poor credit rating
  145. Danger Constancy, Laws of (PH) - 1. The amount of danger in the world at any time is a constant
    2. Danger is conserved. Danger can be neither created nor destroyed
  146. Dangtoe (N) - The toe you keep stubbing
  147. Debtpasser (N) - A person who uses the word DEBTPASSES when saying the Lord's Prayer
  148. Debtpasses (N) - The word spoken by someone saying the Lord's Prayer who starts to say "debts" when the rest of the congregation says "trespasses" - The resulting word spoken is "debtpasses."
  149. Decafalon (N) - Getting through the day without caffeine **** (See CAFFIEND)
  150. Deeple (N) - The line on an appliance that tells how full you can fill it - Also Maxfill
  151. Deficiency Apartment (N) - 1. An apartment with two rooms, one of them being a bathroom
    2. Any apartment that has decayed because it has been under rent control for years
  152. Deja-Moo (PH) - "I've heard this bull before."
  153. Delay-Off (N) - When both sides counter each other with continuances
  154. Dellinkquent (N) - The guy on the Staples commercial who freaks out over a lack of Dell ink
  155. Demp (S) - One bounce of a basketball.
  156. Depodiated (A) - A speaker who, when told to come up to the podium, finds there isn't one to stand on, but just a lectern
  157. Deprecator (N) - An elitist who won't leave existing computer languages alone, but has to change them
  158. Despotician (N) - A politician who is a despot
  159. Despotition (N) - A deposition made with criminal intent
  160. Dimelich Maneuver (N) - The process by which a waiter squeezes the tip from the customer's pocket
  161. Dimpled Chad (N) - A defect in a computer punch card that is caused by a dirty card reader
  162. Disasteroid (N) - A large rock hurtling to destroy the earth in a disaster movie or a History Channel SCARESHOW
  163. Discongenuous (A) - When a company discontinues needed products, or says "Your call is important to us" for two hours of keeping you on hold
  164. Discrumbinate (V) - To remove crumbs
  165. Disfroginate (V) - To remove the frog from one's throat before speaking
  166. Dishwashable (A) - Able to be washed in a dishwasher without being damaged
  167. Dislaboration (N) - The state of politicians or labor unions working against each other
  168. Dodge Mahal (N) - A gold-plated diamond-studded 1969 Dodge Charger
  169. Doe Snot (PH) - A common typo of "does not"
  170. Dongle (N) - A device attached to a computer that proves to the software that the user has purchased the software, and thus has a right to use it and violates the law once the copyright expires *
  171. Dopeler Effect (N) - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly ****
  172. Dotcompoop (N) - Person who can't surf the Internet
  173. Double Drick (N) - A large-area power failure, such as the one on 11/9/1965 (See DRICK)
  174. Double Entawdry (N) - A phrase that has two meanings, with one of them being sexually suggestive
  175. Double-Hued Cellphonium (N) - A cell phone that glows with two colors at night (cf. Double-belled euphonium)
  176. Downbardment (N) - Microsoft Update disrupting your work
  177. Dratify (V) - To affirm mistakes as part of the plan
  178. Dratoff (N) - A mistake contest
  179. Drayne (N) - Any person, government program, or process that destroys wealth
  180. Dreamlinercar (N) - Electric car on fire
  181. Drick (S, N) - A power failure (From the TV series "Green Acres")
  182. Dricken (N) - Plural of DRICK - multiple power failures
  183. Dricker (N) - The cause of a power failure (See DRICK)
  184. Dripulate (V) - After the rain ends, water drips from trees
  185. Droit (N) - A French robot that takes away your rights and money, giving them to undeserving artists
  186. Droneswatter (N) - A very large flyswatter used to swat down drones
  187. Drownpour (N) - Rain heavy enough to drown small animals
  188. DST Bug (N) - The computer and equipment errors that occur because the legislated beginning and ending dates for DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME changed in 2007 so existing software and equipment changed on the wrong date (see DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  189. Ducksnort (N) - A baseball hit just beyond the infield *
  190. Dupid (A) - Stupid enough to be duped
  191. Dupidity (N) - Stupid enough to be duped
  192. DVDemolish (V) - What you have to do to the packaging to get to the actual DVD disc, due to the anti-theft packaging
  193. Dwet (S) - The sound of the Hammond organ finale note on a record the page author has.
  194. Dwoodle (V) - How an elongated ellipsoid rolls erratically (e.g. rugby ball)
  195. Dyslexia Amplifier (N) - A web page that constantly changes. repeatedly erasing the mental text buffer of a dyslexic person, so he can't read the page contents
  196. Dystypic (A) - Typing the letters of words in the WORNG order
  197. Eblabberate (V) - Use blabber to elaborate
  198. Eboink (S) - The sound a computer makes when an email arrives
  199. Eboppity (IJ) - The internet strikes back
  200. Edirtorialize (V) - To add bias or innuendo to an article
  201. Egocard (N) - A credit card with no limit (See AMERICAN EXCUSE CARD)
  202. Einsteinbug (N) - A computer bug that requires a major change in the way the software works to fix it (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  203. Ellwait (N) - The time someone loses or wastes by using mass transit
  204. Enemess (N) - 1. The messiness of a sloppy enema
    2. The mess created by an enemies list (equivalent to #1)
  205. Ennuious (A) - Boring
  206. Entropon (N) - The unit charge of messiness (Antonym: ABLUTON)
  207. Evain (A) - vanity in email
  208. Evianated (V) - The feeling you get as you buy your bottled water, and suddenly realize that "Evian" is "naive" spelled backwards
  209. Exaster (N) - 1. A former disaster
    2. An ex-wife
  210. Excedrache (N) - A headache caused by trying to open the Excedrin bottle
  211. Execublabber (N) - Drivel produced by a government or corporate executive (See LEGISBLABBER)
  212. Exfiltrate (V) - To steal computer files
  213. Exit Tramp (N) - A beggar who stands at the local street end of an exit ramp with a sign, asking for money
  214. Exoid (N) - The monster who used to be your spouse
  215. Expert (N) - Unknown drip under pressure (cf. x = unknown + spurt = drip under pressure) *
  216. Eye Swatter (N) - A cold drink
  217. Facebook Fog (N) - The sudden realization that you have no idea what was going on in class while you were on Facebook
  218. Failacy (N) - Propensity to fail
  219. Fairgle (V) - To yell "It's not fair" when you lose - the chief activity of many liberals
  220. Fakade (N) - A fake facade
  221. Fallic (A) - Full of fallacy
  222. Fanatasy (N) - Fanatic fantasy
  223. Faqirial (A) - A day short and a dollar late
  224. Faqiry (N, pronounced "fakery") - One of the fake fairies that liberals postulate to exist to provide the missing wealth needed to make the LIVING WAGE and other impossible plans FEASE
  225. Fauxtography (N) - Making PHAKE photos
  226. Faxic Waste (N) - When ads come through the fax, wasting your supplies
  227. Fease (V) - To be feasible * (See TANGE)
  228. Feasily (AV) - doably
  229. Feasy (A) - Easily feasible
  230. Feeloader (N) - 1. A government agency that makes money from excessive fees
    2. Police departments and courts that can increase their budgets by increasing the number of tickets and fines
    3. Police, fire, and ambulance departments who charge the victims they help for the emergency services they get
    4. A state highway department paid for by tolls
  231. Feuditi (N) - Graffiti arising from a feud
  232. Fidgetbuster (N) - 1. A U.S. Senate debate that keeps legislators alert and concentrating
    2. A toy given to a child to keep him quiet at church
  233. Filtray (V) - Portray in a way that gets through filter software
  234. Fistevities (N) - Celebrations where fistfights break out
  235. Flewpart (N) - A FLYPART that can not be found after a PARTFLY occurs (See GRUMMIES)
  236. Flig (S) - A sound heard in a game show or a video game
  237. Floorzoni (N) - A machine that looks like a Zamboni that is driven around the floor of a store cleaning it
  238. Flyable Part (N) - FLYPART that has not yet flown (See FLYPART)
  239. Flypart (N) - A part in a machine that is spring-loaded, so it flies out of place as soon as the retaining parts are removed (See FLYABLE PART, PARTFLY, FLEWPART, GRUMMIES)
  240. Flyswatter Interchange (N) - A traffic interchange so poorly designed that it looks like they just put a bunch of interchange parts over a clay model of the area, and then took a flyswatter and went SPLAT! An example of a flyswatter interchange can be found in New London, Connecticut, at the intersection of I-95, US-1, and Connecticut 32. Flyswatter interchanges often lack ramps for some movements.
  241. Fogl (V) - 1. To fake a UFO photograph
    2. To bamboozle people with a fake UFO photograph
  242. Fogmare (N) - 1. A nightmarishly thick fog
    2. A huge multiple vehicle traffic accident caused by fog
  243. FOMO (AC) - Fear of missing out *
  244. Fook (V) - To blind a camera system or a person with a bright flash of light
  245. Fooperize (V) - Send the drive-thru carrier through the tube to the teller (cf. the sound often made)
  246. Footbrawl (N) - A football game disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, RACEBRAWL)
  247. Foreploy (N) - Any misrepresentation made for the purpose of getting laid ****
  248. Fortpolio (N) - A set of investments that paralyze your funds
  249. Frankencorn (N) - Genetically engineered grain *
  250. Frankenlight (N) - A light fixture that suddenly changes brightness at long random intervals
  251. Frankenstink (N) - The awful smell in any chemistry laboratory
  252. Frankenstorm (N) - The merging of a hurricane and a winter storm, as happened with Hurricane Sandy
  253. Frap Rays (N) - 1. Science fiction rays found in 1950s comic books
    2. Science fiction rays found in Calvin and Hobbes "Spaceman Spiff" episodes
    3. Why people crave frappes
  254. Fratily (AV) - In the manner of a college fraternity
  255. Fraudtopsy (N) - Fake alien autopsy *
  256. Fromare (N) - A nightmare about cheese
  257. Frustralia (N) - A country with a government that frustrates everyone
  258. Fubbafluwatch (N) - The thing you can't think of the name of when you need it * (See SPLIDNOOG)
  259. Funderful (A) - Wonderfully fun
  260. Garbageabetical Order (N) - The result of sorting a database on a field that has not yet been filled in, so the computer sorts the database using the disk trash from previous files that it finds there
  261. Garbaggage (N) - The extra junk added to windows Vista and up to make it work with a cell phone
  262. Gasp Mileage (N) - The shock of your low miles per dollar
  263. Geigers (U) - What a Geiger counter counts
  264. Ghost Handicapped (PH) - Being a non-handicapped person sharing a car with a handicapped person and parking in a handicap space so the handicapped person can use it next
  265. Ghost-to-Ghost Telegraph (PH) - Automatic writing
  266. Gigaperson (N) - A unit of measure equal to 1,000,000,000 people used to describe the world population - The world population is approximately 6 gigapersons in 2005 AD. That is 6 billion people (US numbering) or 6 milliard people (world numbering - See SI standards for a chart on the difference between US numbering and world numbering)
  267. Gigglepathic (N) - The portion of the testimony that causes the audience to giggle
  268. Gigli (A) - Very bad: Used to describe the film by the same name. Also describes the economy-destroying platforms of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and John Kerry.
  269. Giraffiti (N) - Vandalism spray-painted very, very high ****
  270. Glibido (N) - All talk and no action ****
  271. Glitchital (A) - The propensity of digital equipment to be glitched (disturbed by transients)
  272. Glurk (S) - Someone suddenly sitting on a couch or bed, causing someone else sitting there who was drinking to spill the drink
  273. Gnarble (V) - To accidentally encrypt data with garbage for the encryption key
  274. Go-Faster Windows (N) - Slanted windows on buses that make them look ten times faster than they are
  275. Government Waist (N) - Obesity resulting from government-induced stress
  276. Grammardemalian (N) - Teacher with bad grammar
  277. Grateless (N) - The opposite of grateful **
  278. Gravitime (N) - The new theory by Larry Robinson that time causes gravity
  279. Greeble (N) - A detail added to a surface (as on a movie miniature) to make it look more real * (See NURNY, WIGGET)
  280. Griddy Kilobuck (PH) - A utility that charges wholesale prices that can fluctuate widely with $1000 electric bills in power shortages
  281. Gross Ignoramus (A) - 144 times ordinary ignoramus, describing most government meetings, and anyone in favor of DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME * (see DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  282. Growloglyphics (N) - Pictorial how-to instructions on packaging containing plants, bulbs, or seeds (See LAUNDROGLYPHICS, AUDIOVISUALOGLYPHICS)
  283. Grummies (N) - Little parts that get lost easily
  284. Grumptious (N) - Extremely grumpy
  285. Gubble-gubble (S) - An instance of forgetting what you were going to say
  286. Gyrese (N) - Whirling Dervish language
  287. Haberdashanoid (N) - Someone more worried about how his clothes look than about what's going on
  288. Hackmow (N) - The lawn care guy I didn't hire
  289. Haftas (N) - Things that have to be done
  290. Hairanoid (N) - Someone more worried about how his hair looks than about what's going on
  291. Hairdon't (N) - What not to do to your hair (Antonym: Hairdo)
  292. Handmonster (N) - That scary-looking crescent with hands on the "Safe Place" signs
  293. Handsphreak (N) - A person who believes that it is safe to use a hands-free phone while driving
  294. Handsphwreck (N) - A HANDSPHREAK who got into a wreck due to being distracted while talking on a cell phone
  295. Hangtail (N) - That pesky odd-sized page in a newspaper advertising insert
  296. Happenable (A) - Possible to do **
  297. Happeneur (N) - A person who makes things happen **
  298. Harmio (N) - An evil robot droid
  299. Hatist (N) - A reporter who propagates his hate
  300. Headweak (A) - The opposite of headstrong *
  301. Heedless Horseman (N) - A driver who does not think before doing - Probably has a case of SLOUCHED BRAIN *
  302. Heisenbug (N) - A computer bug that disappears during attempts to locate it * (See BOHR BUG, EINSTEINBUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  303. Hermoan (N) - Female hormone
  304. Hindencar (N) - A hydrogen-powered car, after it exploded (See CAR CHALLENGER, KAHUKUCAR)
  305. Hintron (N) - One single entry in the help menu of software
  306. Hipatitis (N) - Terminal coolness ****
  307. Hollerithabetical Order (A) - In the order of the Hollerith punch card code character set, as sorted on a card sorter, with all capital letters sorted before all lowercase letters, and numbers mixed into the letters
  308. Hollywodd (N) - Any place where all morality is abandoned - Hollywood at its oddest (See CALIFORNICATE)
  309. Hoolywodd (N) - Any place where all morality is abandoned - Hollywood at its oddest (See CALIFORNICATE)
  310. Humanist-Resources Department (N) - A hiring department that unconstitutionally requires all new employees to be POLITICALLY CORRECT
  311. HUNG (AC A) - Hung until no good *
  312. Hunt-and-Park System (N) - A system for government employee parking where the number of PARKING STINKERS issued is greater than the number of parking spaces available
  313. Hurry-Wart (N) - A driver in too much of a hurry to be safe
  314. Hydrogen Power (N) - A scam masquerading as an energy source
  315. Hypnosoft (N) The circling "please wait" swirl on the Windows 7 opening screen that hypnotizes people into buying more Microsoft products
  316. Idiodyssey (N) - A fool's errand, including most of what government makes people do
  317. Idiotorialist (N) - A reporter who propagates his beliefs, rather than the truth
  318. Ignoranus (N) - 1. A person who is both stupid and an ass ****
    2. A person who is stupid at both ends
  319. Ignority (N) - An ignored minority
  320. Imperforations (N) - Imperfect perforations in bills, stubs, or stamps
  321. Indestructium (N) - The plastic the unopenable clear sales packaging for flash drives is made of
  322. Infilthrator (N) - A person who thinks there is nothing wrong with pornography, and spreads it everywhere he can - an originator of unwanted pornographic email
  323. Infoolence (N) - Bad advice from someone with power
  324. Inoculatte (N) - To take coffee intravenously when you are running late ****
  325. Insatrument (N) - An instrument that lies, malfunctions, or can't be calibrated
  326. Insultant (N) - The consultant a company sends to help and insult you
  327. Intaxication (N) - Euphoria from a tax refund, which lasts only until you realize that it was your money to start with ****
  328. Interget (N) - The Internet, when used for buying or winning prizes
  329. Java Man (N) - Someone with prehistoric roots, who can't function without coffee
  330. John the Worst (N) - The Prince John in the Robin Hood story
  331. Kahukucar (N) - Hybrid car on fire (cf. Kahuku Hawaii 2012 wind farm storage battery building fire)
  332. Kalt (N) - Potassium salt (see NALT)
  333. Karmacide (N) - When one person's karma runs over another person's dogma
  334. Keyboardophile (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a keyboard command over a mouse command
  335. Knarfle (V) - To mess up a computer file
  336. Lampson (U) - The unit (abbr. Ls) of speed of human speech (Normal speech is 200 millilampsons) *
  337. Landscupper (V) - To remove all of the traffic signs restricting turns into or out of a place of business in the process of "landscaping"
  338. Laudiot (V) - A person, usually a politician, who wrongfully expects to be honored
  339. Laundroglyphics (N) - Pictorial how-to instructions on garment tags for doing laundry (See AUDIOVISUALOGLYPHICS, GROWLOGLYPHICS)
  340. Lawdiot (V) - A person, usually a politician, who misunderstands the law
  341. Lawyer (V) - To sic a lawyer on someone
  342. Lawyer Up (V) - To get a lawyer, ending police questioning *
  343. Lawyurp (N) - A lawyer who makes people sick
  344. Leap Year (N) - Nature's revenge on politicians for imposing DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME
  345. Left-overs (N) - The paltry amount we get to keep when the Left takes over the government
  346. Leftunders (N) - Bits of food that fall under the table for the cat to eat (Kit n' Carlisle comic strip)
  347. Legisblabber (N) - Drivel produced by a government legislature (See EXECUBLABBER)
  348. Lemonicious (N) - Faulty (especially used cars)
  349. Lenojustice (N) - Guilty!
  350. Lenolack (N) - Brains not included
  351. Licentious License (N) - A nasty or offensive personalized license plate
  352. Lickproof Stamp (N) - A peel-and-stick postage stamp
  353. Liewitness (N) - A perjurer
  354. Lig (A) - A metal holder for an Ace bandage *
  355. Liminary (A) - Introductory * (See POSTLIMINARY)
  356. Liquese (N) - Drunken speech
  357. Listdexic (A) - Unable to follow a line of text in a wide list
  358. Listenowboss (N) - A boss who creates a traffic hazard by demanding that his employees must always be reachable by cell phone, even when they are driving (This should be a crime)
  359. Long Billion (N) - The long scale billion = 1,000,000,000,000 = 10^12 (as opposed to SHORT BILLION = 10^9)
  360. Long Trillion (N) - The long scale trillion = 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 = 10^18 (as opposed to SHORT TRILLION = 10^12)
  361. Looney Eclipse (N) - When people go mad during an eclipse
  362. Lootery (N) - 1. What most people perceive a state lottery to be: A source of loot
    2. The government revenue from a state lottery
  363. Lord of the Files (N) - The sysop
  364. Losercase (N) - Regular text typed with the CAPS LOCK key accidentally turned on (See STUPID CASE)
  365. Losiana (N) - Where lost stuff goes
  366. Loyer (N) - A lawyer who loiters in hospitals
  367. Magnum Cum Latte (PH) - Strong coffee (See SUMMA CUM LATTE)
  368. Mallberg (N) - The huge piles of snow seen in shopping malls for weeks after the rest of the snow in the area is gone (See CARBERG, SNOWBERG)
  369. Malquacktice (N, V, A) - Medical malpractice
  370. Mandelbug (N) - A computer bug with an obscure complex cause * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, EINSTEINBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  371. Manextortment (N) - Management that uses extreme pressure to squeeze every last bit of extra performance from employees - Causes obesity
  372. Maskera (N) - The period of time that government requires COVID-19 masks.
  373. Meanace (N) - A menace who is also mean
  374. Megabucksic (A) - Extremely expensive
  375. Memobe (N) - One of the little things that carry memos on computer networks
  376. Meringue Noisette (N) - The fake squish sound used when a pie is thrown
  377. Messterpiece (N) - 1. Antonym of masterpiece
    2. The result of liberals trying to fix the economy
    3. The result of a giant food fight
    4. The result of a ruined recording studio session
  378. Metrefutation (N) - Demonstration that English units work better in the real world
  379. Misteak (N) - A mistake within a mistake, or a recursive misteak (5th word I coined)
  380. Mnemory (N) - Memory based on mnemonics
  381. Mobnopoly (N) - A monopoly created through the use of intellectual property
  382. Moehair (N) - A tuft of hair ripped from any of the Three Stooges
  383. Moostrated (A) - Not enough room to get past a moose in the road
  384. Mousageddon (N) - World War III caused by one wrong mouse click
  385. Mouse Manure (N) - The results produced by bad science
  386. Mouse Potato (N) - Internet addict *
  387. Moused Up (V) - Having just made a mistake with a computer mouse
  388. Mousecar (N) - A Kia Soul (from the ad where mice are driving toasters and the Kia Soul)
  389. Mousemilk (V, N) - Make a big issue out of something inconsequential *
  390. Mouseteadious (A) - Very steady handling of the mouse
  391. Mousetidious (A) - Very careful mouse use
  392. Mousetied (A) - The state of having to stay within a certain distance of the computer or DAW to work the mouse
  393. Mousetrap (N) - A web page that works with a touch screen, but not with a mouse
  394. Mousfunction (N) - A mouse misfunction
  395. Mousion (N) - The use of a computer mouse
  396. Mouso (N) - Mousographical error *
  397. Mousophile (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a mouse command over a keyboard command
  398. Mousophobe (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a keyboard command over a mouse command
  399. Moustered (N) - Flustered by a malfunctioning mouse
  400. Moustake (N) - A mistaken mouse click
  401. Mousteadious (A) - Steadiness in use of a mouse
  402. Moustidious (A) - Neatness in use of a mouse
  403. Moustified (A) - Can't use a computer mouse
  404. Moustrained (A) - Not enough room to use a computer mouse
  405. Moustrated (A) - Not enough room to use a computer mouse
  406. Muda (N - pronounced "myooda") - The strange-shaped white lamp globes covering ceiling light fixtures found in government buildings, made in the 1930s and 1940s (They look like the ends of trumpet mutes)
  407. Multiflusher (N) - Someone using a new 1.6 gallon/flush toilet, needing 3 flushes to clear the waste
  408. Muppered (A) - Slapped with a stupid lawsuit to stop MUPPY THREE trading
  409. Muppy Three (N) - MP-3
  410. Muriad (N) - 10,000 mice
  411. MySpite (N) - A MySpace account used to spite other people
  412. Nabulate (V) - A fancy word meaning 'nab'
  413. Nad (N) - A nutty ad
  414. Naggravating (A) - Naggingly aggravating (e.g. Political Correctness)
  415. Nalt (N) - Sodium salt (see KALT)
  416. Nap Up (V) - The act of a nap sneaking up on someone ("It just napped up on me.")
  417. Nar (N) - The whole picture (instead of two seminars)
  418. Nasticulous (A) - Ridiculously nasty
  419. Nastorious (A) - Notoriously nasty
  420. Nastycar (N) - An auto race that is won by causing opponents to crash (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  421. Naughty-Bits-Deleted-For-Tat (PH) - Overcensorship (by security software) of perfectly harmless phrases containing words that also have obscene definitions
  422. Navigrabber (N) - A web advertisement that expands to cover the navigation buttons on a web page, so you can't leave until the ad finishes playing
  423. Neat Czar (N) - A public official who requires all properties to be clean, neat, and tidy
  424. Necessary Security (PH) - Term reserved for a kit consisting of a blanket and a pacifier
  425. Nerble (N) - A pause in an online video because the data stream can't keep up with the playback
  426. Newlywife (N) - What a husband proudly calls his new wife
  427. Nignull (N) - The removal of night prophesied in Revelation
  428. Nividue (N) - Snow on the ground
  429. Nogbutt (N) - A New-Year's Eve drunk making a donkey's rear end of himself
  430. Norton (V) - To fuss around while getting ready to write
  431. Noyed (N) - A paranoid annoyed by a noise
  432. Numble (V) - To mumble numbers (as in playing Sudoku)
  433. Nurge (V) - To repeatedly move a car closer to the intersection, as if that could make the light turn green faster - Actually, it can do the opposite, if the car moves off of the detector (leaving it empty) *
  434. Nurny (N) - A part from a plastic model kit that is used for some other purpose * (also Nurnie. See GREEBLE, WIGGET)
  435. Nutwork (N) - A TV network that cancels all of the good shows
  436. Obesistress (N) - Undue stress that causes obesity
  437. Obnoxage (N) - The amount of OBNOXITY in a system
  438. Obnoxity (N) - A high degree of obnoxiousness
  439. Obsoloot (N) - Money dishonestly earned by companies who force people to buy the new product by no longer supporting the old product - Microsoft and Intel are prime examples
  440. Oddiotic (A) - Believing in odd idiotic things
  441. Offertunity (N) - The time in the church service when they take the offering
  442. Oldance (N) - An old nuance
  443. Omegalomaniac (N) - A person who is afraid of the end of the world
  444. Oniondated (A) - Overcome by onion flatus
  445. Orkadork (N) - The woman on the ad, who says, "Orca! Orca! Oh! I Love Orca!"
  446. Osaddamize (V) - 1. What terrorists do to people
    2. Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Barack Obama oppressing people
    3. Government imposing insensitive overkill security to prevent terrorism
  447. Osaddamized (A) - 1. Describing a victim of terrorism
    2. Describing victims of Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Barack Obama oppressing people
    3. Describing the victims of insensitive overkill security to prevent terrorism
  448. Ostensopornosis (N) - A degenerate disease, with symptoms of extreme cravings for pornography ****
  449. Outmoot (V) - To make the mootest point in the debate
  450. Packmouse (N) - A person who will not get rid of useless computer files
  451. Palindnilap (N) - The word "palindrome" rewritten as a palindrome (or a PALINDNILAP)
  452. Paralyze Parking (N) - 1. Parking arranged where cars are parked parallel to the traffic lanes - Every time someone wants to enter or leave a parking space, he has to block a lane, paralyzing traffic behind that space
    2. The medical results of careless maneuvering while parking
    3. Using parallel parking techniques to maneuver a motorized wheelchair
  453. Parapathetic (A) - Not knowing where one is going
  454. Parking Stinkers (N) - Stickers issued for government parking, so employees must pay a kickback to be able to go to work
  455. Parodig (N) - A parody that makes a sarcastic dig at something or someone
  456. Partfly (N) - One instance of what happens when you release the retaining parts holding a FLYPART
  457. Passturn (N) - The impatient driver who passes your car, then slows down and blocks you while waiting to turn left into his driveway
  458. Pay-Per-Bag Trash Stinkers (N) - Stickers required to be paid for and put on trash bags by the government-owned-monopoly municipal trash collection system
  459. Paypref (N) - Paper or plastic (See BAGPREF)
  460. Pedapulate (N) - To manipulate something with a foot
  461. Pedasstrian (N) - A person who crosses the street against the light
  462. Pedesstalrian (N) - The pedestrians the government puts on a pedestal when writing traffic laws
  463. Pedesturnated (A) - Describing a driver who starts to turn left through a gap in high-speed traffic, and is blocked in the way of the high speed traffic by a pedestrian who starts to cross right in front of him
  464. Pencilvania (N) - Where all the writing instruments disappear to, when you need to write
  465. Penlout (N) - The store cashier who takes your pen after you write a check, thinking it belongs to the store
  466. Pentupium (N) - A souped-up Pentium computer
  467. Percussive Maintenance (N) - Adding more whack to anything that is out of whack *
  468. Perspicapacious (A) - Having plenty of perspicacity
  469. Pervertity (N) - The capacity to CALIFORNICATE *
  470. Pessimum (A) - Antonym of optimum *
  471. Pestrian (N) - A pedestrian who believes that pedestrians always have the right of way, and who exercises this belief, even at his own peril, or even when it breaks the law
  472. Pext (N) - A pest who texts
  473. Phake (A) - Describing something fake, used to PHOOL people into doing something PHOOLISH
  474. Phishing (N) - Stealing a company's ID, then using it to steal the IDs of others * (See PHAKE, PHOOL, PHOOLISH)
  475. Phobiac (N) - Someone afraid of everything
  476. Phone-pong (N) - 1. A game where two people alternately leave messages asking for callbacks on each other's answering machines
    2. A game where a person repeatedly changes long-distance carriers to get all of the freebies
  477. Phoney (A) - Always on a cell phone
  478. Phoography (N) - PHAKE Photography (See FAUXTOGRAPHY, PHAKE)
  479. Phool (V) - To trick someone into doing something PHOOLISH with PHAKE information
  480. Phoolish (A) - Describing doing something that compromises security or an identity after reading PHAKE information
  481. Photoblast (N) - The disconcerting expansion of a picture as the mouse pointer passes over it
  482. Photohoarder (N) - The website developer who wants you to be able to see his photos, but not save copies of them
  483. Phraud (N) - The criminal act of PHOOLING people by PHISHING with PHAKE spoofed spam emails
  484. Pickanoid (N) - A person who gets paranoid over the tiniest annoyances
  485. Pickanweedia (N) - The faulty parts of Wikipedia
  486. Pickupable (A) - Able to be picked up by hand
  487. Pickybody (N) - 1. A person who gets very upset at the tiniest annoyances
    2. A person who demands that government shield him from the tiniest annoyances
  488. Pindler (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PNDLR (See PRIND..., PRINO...)
  489. Pixel Dust (N) - Individual pixels showing the wrong color due to digital photo format conversion (example: .bmp image converted to .jpg image)
  490. Plausar (N) - A massive object that emits pulses that make impossible things look plausible
  491. Plause (V) - To be plausible
  492. Plutonic Relationship (PH) - A relationship between two people that often volcanically erupts
  493. Pocket Dial (V) - To accidentally dial a cell phone while sitting on it in your pocket *
  494. Political Correction (PH) - A religious belief that was hijacked from the Baha'i Faith and made political
  495. Polyunfaturated (A) - Describing fat that is polyunsaturated
  496. Pooforations (N) - Perforations that go poof (disappear) when you try to tear along them
  497. Pook (S) - Microsoft Update interrupting your work (cf. the sound effect Windows plays for the update icon)
  498. Poppaea Sabina (N) - The biological specie of an alleged race of space aliens, according to one pseudoscientist *
  499. Porndupe (N) - A victim of the black-eye prank (a cylinder supposedly containing "naughty" pictures)
  500. Postliminary (A) - Describing the main event (See LIMINARY)
  501. Postphone (V) - To send notice by telephone that a meeting is rescheduled to a later date (The first word I coined, at age 8)
  502. POTM bug (AC N) - Phase-Of-The-Moon Bug, a computer bug that occurs under strange conditions: The original POTM bug occurred on an early computer, where someone got the idea of adding the phase of the moon to the system clock output. The line was one character too long on Wednesdays in September when the phase was past the first or third quarter, causing the time buffer to overflow into the next byte, allocated for a different use. * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, EINSTEINBUG, MANDELBUG)
  503. Prairie-Dogging (V) - Popping up over the cubicle walls whenever something happens in the office *
  504. Pre-Corrodium (N) - What batteries are made of (See CORRODIUM)
  505. Pre-Empty (N) - A vacuum cleaner "refill" bag (pre-emptied? See RE-EMPTY)
  506. Pre-Numbskull Agreement (N) - An agreement designed to keep someone stupid enough to marry a golddigger from losing his shirt *
  507. Predator Creditor (N) - A creditor who makes a loan, expecting to make money by foreclosing on it
  508. Prephone (V) - To move the time of a meeting or event earlier by using a telephone *
  509. Prepone (V) - To move the time of a meeting or event earlier *
  510. Presenteeism (N) - Going to work when you are sick (Actual economics term) *
  511. Princess Runningmouth (N) - Elizabeth Warren *)
  512. Prindel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  513. Prindetuwun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND21 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  514. Prindewun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND1 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  515. Prindgur (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDGr (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  516. Prindhur (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDHr (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  517. Prindsel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDSL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  518. Prindud (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND⇑⇓ (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  519. Prinodel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNODL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  520. Prinodsel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNODSL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  521. Prinodetuwun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNOD21 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  522. Prinodewun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNOD1 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  523. Pro-Bonehead (A) - Describing a person who gets a lousy lawyer for free (pro-bono), rather than hiring a good one
  524. Pro-Maskon Man (V) - An overkill politician who demands that everyone wear virus masks
  525. Probgram (N) - A program with a problem with its operation
  526. Produck (N) - A fake product
  527. Prodyuct (N) - A badly made product
  528. Pucker Pea (N) - Harder peas grown to be frozen
  529. Purdon't (IJ) - What Indiana University fans shout when the team is playing against Purdue
  530. Purloot (N) - Purloined loot, as opposed to ordinary loot
  531. Quabble (N) - A squabble about quibbling
  532. Quadnary (N) - The quandary of whether to convert to surround sound
  533. Quadnery (N) - The question: Is it surround sound or not?
  534. Quarrelentine (N) - A not-so-loving valentine
  535. Quety (N) - A questionable etymology (Example: They call a head statue a "bust" because the rest of it got busted off)
  536. Queueue (N) - A very long queue
  537. Racebrawl (N) - An auto race disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, NASTYCAR)
  538. Racestration (N) - Frustration with racial tension
  539. Racket Science (N) - 1. The bad science used to create government regulations
    2. The science used by con men
  540. Rainlong (N) - The desire, when on Arrakis, to see water fall from the sky again (cf. Dune)
  541. Ramboast (N) - An overconfident swagger
  542. Ramskunktious (A) - Describing the behavior of a skunk (or a politician)
  543. Ransume (N - Pronounced "Ran-zoo-may") - The requirement of a well-written resume, demanded by a right-brained human resources manager: It keeps the left-brained people who are more suited to a technical job from being hired. (See HUMANIST-RESOURCES DEPARTMENT, RIGHTBRAIN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT)
  544. Re-Empty (N) - A vacuum cleaner "refill" bag (pre-emptied? See PRE-EMPTY)
  545. Recomfortable (A) - To be comfortable again after becoming uncomfortable
  546. Recumbering (V) - Riding a recumbent bicycle *
  547. Religiophobia (N) - The fear or hatred of religious beliefs
  548. Religiophobic (A) - Of the fear or hatred of religious beliefs
  549. Repeatza (N) - A pizza that produces a lot of gas when eaten (also REPIZZA)
  550. Repizza (N) - A pizza that produces a lot of gas when eaten (also REPEATZA)
  551. Repoot (N) - Ill repute, or bad character
  552. Resiglue (N) - Excess glue that must be removed
  553. Respensibility (N) - The responsibility for causing an excess expense
  554. Resumemail (N) - Sending a resume by email, as many employers require now
  555. Retalitarian (N, A) - The belief in retaliating against everything that you don't like
  556. Rightbrain-Resources Department (N) - A human-resources department that concentrates on how well-written a resume is, instead of whether left-brained people are more suited to a technical job than people who write resumes well (See HUMANIST-RESOURCES DEPARTMENT, RANSUME)
  557. Road Island (N) - When all of the roads leading to where you need to go to are closed
  558. Roomzoni (N) - A robot that goes around the floor of a store cleaning it
  559. Rotadial (V) - To pretend you have a rotary dial phone, so a VOICE JAIL system will send you to a real person
  560. Rotisserate (V) - To roll slowly while sunbathing
  561. Roundcornercopia (N) - The craze for putting round corners on web page boxes, using unnecessary download bandwidth
  562. Runfer (N) - A trip taken to go get something
  563. Samplitude (N) - The strength of the signal being digitally sampled
  564. Scamotosis (N) - A fake disease that causes people to scam
  565. Scaredo (N) - Hair standing straight up
  566. Scareshow (N) - A TV show designed to scare people with a disaster with a very low probability of occurring, often used for political purposes (See DISASTEROID)
  567. Schooltreacher (N) - A teacher who imposes political beliefs on pupils
  568. Schroedingbug (N) - A computer bug that is not noticed until the source code is read * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, MANDELBUG, EINSTEINBUG, POTM BUG)
  569. Screwb (N) - The device that messes up
  570. Screwd (A) - Past tense of "Shrewd"
  571. Scrolljam (N) - The inability to scroll down a web page quickly, because the moving ad steals all of the CPU time
  572. Scrope (V) - Past tense of "scrape"
  573. Scrote (V) - Past tense of SCRUTE
  574. Scrute (V) - To Scrutinize
  575. Sculptduggery (N) - 1. Fake sculptures
    2. Weight-loss clinic body-sculpting claims
  576. Scumquat (N) - Porn site webmaster
  577. Seh (PN) - A neutral gender singular subject pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHR, SEHS)
  578. Sehm (PN) - A neutral gender singular object pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHMSELF, SEHR, SEHS)
  579. Sehmself (PN) - A neutral gender singular reflexive pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHR, SEHS)
  580. Sehr (A) - A neutral gender singular possessive adjective used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHS)
  581. Sehs (PN) - A neutral gender singular possessive pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHR)
  582. Self-Definition (N) - see SELF-DEFINITION
  583. Self Esteam (N) - The steam-boiler temper of a violent man
  584. Sell Phone (N) - What a telemarketer calls you with *
  585. Senioritis (N) - The high-school fear of being about to go out on your own
  586. Sesquipickup (N) - A pickup truck with dual wheels on the back
  587. Sesquisemi (A) - Three quarters of something (See TRIDEMISEMI)
  588. Sesquisemicircle (N) - Three quarters of a circle (See TRIDEMISEMICIRCLE)
  589. Sesquispeech (N) - A half-hour speech delivered in 45 minutes
  590. Sheng Phooey (PH) - A means of harmonizing an office or home so nobody can find anything
  591. Short Billion (N) - The short scale billion = 1,000,000,000 = 10^9 (as opposed to LONG BILLION = 10^12)
  592. Short Trillion (N) - The short scale trillion = 1,000,000,000,000 = 10^12 (as opposed to LONG TRILLION = 10^18)
  593. Shotgun Art (N) - A painting created by hanging cans of paint over a canvas, and then shooting at them
  594. Sinfoul (A) - Extremely sinful, to the point of offending everyone
  595. Skitted (A) - Involuntarily presented with a skit
  596. Skulldrudgery (N) - Having to think really HARD
  597. Skunkee (N) - The recipient of skunk effluent
  598. Skunkoleum (N) - Skunk effluent
  599. Sloke (N) - A slowpoke (the 2nd word I coined)
  600. Slouched Brain (N) - A disease politicians and others get, which causes an inability to think
  601. Slumberia (N) - The state that falling asleep takes you to
  602. Slumburbia (N) - The place that makes you fall asleep
  603. Smashcase (N) - Regular text forced into all-uppercase or all-lowercase by the application program, destroying the original case the user wanted
  604. Smudge Pot (N) - 1. Heater used to prevent citrus fruit from freezing on the tree
    2. Old-style highway road flare
  605. Snacrifice (N) - Giving up your favorite snack to please other people *
  606. Sneak Oil (N) - A scam
  607. Sneakret (N) - A sneaky secret (The 3rd word I coined)
  608. Sneakret Exit (N) - An exit only you know about, so you can sneak out
  609. Sneasoning (V) - Sneezing over the food you are cooking
  610. Snickety (A) - Describing the short-throw manual gearshift on a Mazda Miata *
  611. Snippage (N) - The portion edited out of the sender's email in the reply
  612. Snoozeletter (N) - A boring newsletter
  613. Snow Glob (N) - A snow globe that has lost all of its liquid
  614. Snowberg (N) - A pile of ice or snow left by a snowplow on the sidewalk you are required to keep clear of snow (See CARBERG, MALLBERG)
  615. Snorama (N) - A snoring demonstration
  616. Snowfakes (n) - Eight-pointed paper snowflakes made in grade school, because the teacher can't remember how to make six-pointed ones
  617. Soduk (N) - The award given to the worst of anything (Kudos spelled backwards)
  618. Soundbitten (A) - Converted into a soundbite **
  619. Speediot (N) - 1. A driver who almost always exceeds the speed limit
    2. A legislator who enacts laws that prohibit the defensive driving technique needed to deal with tailgaters
  620. Speel (N) - A cardboard spoon that peels from the side of a single serving carton of ice cream (See SPOOD)
  621. Spider of Damocles (PH) - A spider on the ceiling, which crawls until it is directly over you, and then stops and stays there: You keep watching it nervously, because it might drop on you. Often disrupts meetings.
  622. Spin The Schedule (PH) - A game played by TV network officials, always reshuffling shows so your two favorite shows are on at the same time
  623. Splidnoog (N) - What you call the thing you can't remember the name of, until you remember it * (See FUBBAFLUWATCH)
  624. Spoo! (IJ) - Exclamation made when someone does something deliberately ("oops" spelled backwards) *
  625. Spood (N) - A flat wooden spoon taped to a single serving carton of ice cream * (See SPEEL)
  626. Spoogilistics (N) - The art of doing things on purpose just to irritate someone
  627. Spoot (S) - The sound the cheap little bell on 1930s Underwood typewriters made
  628. Spootledop (N) - A tall pole with a red disc on top, used to tell a golfer where the cup is when the green is hidden behind a hill when viewed from the tee
  629. Spottled (A) - Blinded by flash cameras
  630. Spylore (N) - Stories told and retold by spies
  631. Squabbleville (N) - A town that is always having arguments about everything
  632. Squadillion (N) - A very large amount
  633. Squandro (N) - Sci-fi currency denomination
  634. Squiddle (V) - Walk like a squid
  635. Stacled (A) - Hindered by obstacles or government regulation
  636. Stayintheredness (N) - Inertia or friction *
  637. Stoogeproofing (V, N) - Preventing people who act like the Three Stooges from messing things up
  638. Stoogidity (A) - Describing behavior like that of the Three Stooges
  639. Stoogification (N) - An effect of an important meeting that causes people to imitate the Three Stooges
  640. Stoogilistics (N) - The art of getting into fights like the Three Stooges
  641. Stooopid (N) - Extremely stupid
  642. Stuffalanche (N) - The result of everything falling from shelves
  643. Stupid Case (N) - Regular text typed with the CAPS LOCK key accidentally turned on (See LOSERCASE)
  644. Stupident (N) - A student who doesn't go to class
  645. Stupidiot (N) - 1. A stupid idiot
    2. A bad driver who does not think of the safety of others
  646. Stupidphone (N) - A smartphone that causes trouble, including auto accidents
  647. Suckurity (N) - Intrusive overkill security measures (See OSADDAMIZE)
  648. Suicycling (v) - Riding a bicycle in a dangerous, illegal manner (such as going the wrong way on a ONE-WAY street)
  649. Summa Cum Latte (PH) - The strongest coffee possible (See MAGNUM CUM LATTE)
  650. Sustart (N) - Art created for sale the purpose of sustenance
  651. Tackle Pinochle (N) - A card game where people get mad and chase each other around the room * (See CONTACT BRIDGE)
  652. Tackle Poker (N) - A card game where people get mad, chase each other, and accuse each other of cheating, after trying to play poker with a pinochle deck (See TACKLE PINOCHLE)
  653. Takeapartable (A) - The ability to be easily taken apart
  654. Tange (V) - To be tangible (See FEASE)
  655. Tardoff (N) - A lateness contest
  656. Technophobiatric (N) - A person who fears the existence of technology
  657. Technobsolescence (N) - Obsolescence of recording formats caused by new technology, resulting in the unreadability of some treasured data, video recordings, and audio recordings
  658. Ted (N) - The stuffing inside a teddy bear
  659. Teevium (N) - The tedium that most TV programs are made of
  660. Telepathetic (N) - A poor example of an attempt at telepathy
  661. Televisium (N) - What TV transmissions are made of
  662. Tenementia (N) - A government that wants to build tenement slums.
  663. Terabucks (N) - A unit of measure equal to $1,000,000,000,000 used to denote the size of the US national debt or the size of the world money supply: Equal to $1 trillion (US) or $1 Billion (world numbering system, but in US dollars. Tera = metric prefix for 1,000,000,000,000 - See SI standards for a chart on the difference between US numbering and world numbering.)
  664. Textapostachatammunication (V) - The means of communication used by most of today's kids (Zits comic strip)
  665. Textort (V) - To require a long essay paper (as a schoolteacher would)
  666. Thankrupt (A) - Discounting blessings
  667. Thermonuclear Divorce (PH) - Acrimony in matrimony, resulting in alimony
  668. Thinkrupt (A) - Incapable of rational thought
  669. Third-Grade Trump (PH) - A Namecaller
  670. Thirdright (A) - Not quite being forthright
  671. Threeality (N) - The quality of the realism of a three-dimensional display or surround sound system
  672. Threek (N) - 1. A plastic fork that has lost one of the tines
    2. A fork with three tines *
  673. Thumper (N) - A subwoofer (cf. Tweeter, Squeaker, Squawker, and Woofer) - the bane of the QUIETESSIMALITE (see QUIETESSIMALITE in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  674. Tiglath Pilsener (N) - A lager beer named after an ancient Assyrian king
  675. Timespeed (N) - 299792458 meters per second in the time dimension (See TRIGONORELATIVITY)
  676. Tobble (V) - To hit a keyboard key that makes all of the characters on the screen act drunk (misprint of "toggle")
  677. Toboric (A) - Robotic and simpleton in nature
  678. Toolnik (N) - A tool coveter, or someone who goes nuts over tools
  679. Trash Stinkers (N) - Stickers required by government to pay for having your trash picked up, so people must pay a kickback to get rid of trash - Causes illegal dumping
  680. Trashay (V, N) - How a strumpet walks
  681. Tridemisemi (A) - Three quarters of (See SESQUISEMI)
  682. Tridemisemicircle (N) - Three quarters of a circle (See SESQUISEMICIRCLE)
  683. Trigonorelativity (N) - An algebraic transformation of Einstein's relativity done by Larry Robinson (author of this page) - This change makes relativity easier to understand, and also makes a few new predictions
  684. Tritiny (N) - The crime of triteness
  685. Trookie (N) - A factory mistake result: a sandwich cookie with three cookie layers and two filling layers
  686. Trucklet (N) - Ford Transit
  687. Tryfail (N) - The failed result of a PRODUCK test
  688. Twitblaster (N) - A twit who makes negative Twitter twits
  689. Typogoofical Error (N) - A keyboarding misteak that finds its way into the finished product
  690. Typosetter (N) - A typesetter who makes typos (See TYPSETTER, TYPOGOOFICAL ERROR)
  691. Typost (N) - A typist who makes TYPOGOOFICAL ERRORS
  692. Typsetter (N) - TYPOSETTER
  693. Ucro (U) - Micro, meaning one millionth of (Abbr: u)
  694. UFGlow (V) - What UFOs do
  695. Ugly Truckling (N) - Suzuki Sidekick
  696. Ugpleat (N) - The backside of a pleat, seen only when the garment is inside out
  697. Umbojay (N) - The hooked end of an umbrella handle
  698. Umpdark (N) - Whatever blocks the umpire from seeing the play
  699. Umph (N) - 1. One third of a victory
    2. One third of the power of a British sports car
  700. Un-Brainer (N) - Something so stupid that nobody with an actual brain would do it
  701. Un-ity (N) - Antonym of unity
  702. Unboit (V) - To recover after saying "toy boat" 10 times really fast
  703. Undo Pain - 1. The painful act of being forced to undo good work
    2. Pain caused by Daylight-Stupid Time, or other government activities
  704. Undon't (V) - Do
  705. Unempage (V, pronounced "un-em-PAZH") - To require people to turn off their pagers
  706. Unintendo (N) - Unintended by-product of playing video games
  707. Unputered (A) - Describing a person who either has no computer, or has no computer knowledge
  708. Upperleftswooper (N) - A web page with a curved logo covering the upper left corner - Very trite
  709. Usility (A) - The utility-usefulness index, calculated by taking the average of utility and usefulness
  710. Utensile Strength (N) - The amount of force a plastic fork can take before it breaks into a THREEK
  711. Utopitarian (N) - 1. Wanting the world of John Lennon's song "Imagine"
    2. Wanting a world where nobody has to work
  712. Vecdirt (N) - The direction and distance to the dirt (chief usage is political)
  713. Veni Vidi Vegi (PH) - "I came, I saw, I vegetated." *
  714. Vertifit (V) - To repeatedly try to design a web page to exactly fit the monitor viewport in the vertical direction, a futile pursuit because there is no way to make it work on all computers, browsers, screen resolutions, and window sizes
  715. Viagravated (A) - Upset by all of the spam advertising Viagra
  716. Vigorovated (A) - Upset by all of the spam advertising fake Viagra
  717. Vlig (A) - A Velcro holder for an Ace bandage (See LIG)
  718. Voice Jail (N) - An automated answering system without a choice for the reason of your call, which will not let you talk to a real person *
  719. Warlorn (A) - The emotional feeling of dismay that the country is at war
  720. Wastium (N) - The chemical element that, when added to anything else, turns it into waste
  721. Weakth (N) - A lack of wealth (cf. typo)
  722. Webster (N) - A World Wide Web user
  723. Wigget (N) - A tiny detail added to a spaceship model (for movies) to make it look more real * (See GREEBLE, NURNY)
  724. Windroid (N) - A Windows computer
  725. Woke-A-Dope (PH) - Believe in that woke nonsense
  726. Woodsmoker (N) - An environmentalist who uses a wood stove (renewable resource), smogging up the neighborhood
  727. Worng (N) - A wrong wrong
  728. Writeproof Paper (N) - Paper with a coating that keeps pens from writing on it (e.g. infrared printer paper)
  729. Y2K BUG (N) - A bug that gets the date or weekday wrong after 02/28/2000 because the software doesn't know it's a leap year.
  730. Yehudi Menuhenpecked (A) - Unable to find the correct menu to change a computer setting in
  731. Yellbin (N) - Where people go when they are angry
  732. Yellybake (V) - To be very vocal about a problem
  733. Yipe-o (N) - A superobvious typo
  734. YOLO (AC) - You only live once *
  735. Yougle (V) - To say, "You! You! It's always about you!"
  736. Yougled (A) - The feeling you get when your spouse says, "You! You! It's always about you!" when it's really about something else
  737. Yubble (V) - Transmitting data, as shown by the blinking light on the modem
  738. Yuggle (V) - Dithering back and forth, such as a wobbling wheel on a shopping cart
  739. Zxnrbl (N, pronounced "ZNER-ble") - A scrambling of a digital transmission or file



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