101 WAYS TO RUIN A SESSION
Here is a list of ways to ruin a recording session without really trying (Read the whole list, and get a surprise):
- Fail to show up.
- Show up late.
- Hum, whistle, or tap to the music.
- Play around with the microphone.
- Forget to bring your music.
- Forget to practice.
- Show up intoxicated.
- Show up in a hangover.
- Bring lots of food.
- Bring intoxicants.
- Bring party supplies.
- Wear noisy clothes or jewelry.
- Horse around.
- Practical jokes.
- Wear wooden heels or soles.
- Wear corduroy or leather.
- Dance around while playing.
- Bring people who are not part of the session.
- Allow a camera into the studio.
- Get into an argument.
- Discuss politics (guaranteed to start an argument).
- Discuss union issues (guaranteed to start an argument).
- Charge or pay by the hour.
- Choose a noisy location or one that leaks external sounds.
- Use techniques intended only for live performance.
- Try out a new idea at the session.
- Play too loud.
- Play too soft.
- Keep turning your instrument up.
- Change the monitor settings.
- Violate noise ordinances.
- Vary your volume inconsistently.
- Play louder when you are also singing.
- Use out-of-tune instruments.
- Tune to different references.
- Use more than one tuner.
- Tune acoustic instruments to each other.
- Give verbal instructions during takes.
- Get your hand signals mixed up.
- Miss your cue.
- Rant and rave when somebody goofs up.
- Forget the words.
- Spoonerize the words (or get your tang tungled).
- Knock over your music.
- Knock over your music stand.
- Sing the wrong verse.
- Move your head around while singing.
- Move the mic around while singing.
- Start singing late.
- Try to sing outside your range.
- Turn away from the mic to give a cue.
- Bump the mic.
- Eat during the take.
- Use old, dead strings.
- Put brand new strings on within two days of the session.
- Fail to bring a spare guitar and spare strings.
- Play hard enough to break strings.
- Use a hum-sensitive guitar or bass.
- Move your instrument around, changing temperature and tuning.
- Mess with the thermostat, changing instrument tunings.
- Use an instrument with noisy controls.
- Use a speaker cord where an instrument cable is needed.
- Use a bad instrument cord.
- Disconnect your instrument when not playing.
- Use an instrument cord that is too short.
- Put a wall wart (AC adapter) right next to a direct box.
- Move the instrument around in front of the mic.
- Scuff against the soundbox of an acoustic instrument.
- Put a wall wart right next to a mic.
- Use a noisy amplifier.
- Plug in the wrong connector.
- Use unreliable equipment.
- Waste time trying to make equipment work.
- Forget to set your equalization controls.
- Forget what your good equalization settings are.
- Put amplifiers on the floor.
- Put an amplifier on a speaker or a hollow box.
- Turn an amplifier loud enough to cause feedback.
- Use a squeaky or noisy kick drum pedal.
- Use a noisy hi-hat mechanism.
- Use cymbals without pads.
- Use drum racks and stands that make noise.
- Use a squeaky drummer's throne.
- Forget to bring extra drumsticks.
- Lose a drumstick during the take.
- Hit a mic with a drumstick.
- Fail to tune the drums.
- Tune the drums to decay too long.
- Use the wrong ride cymbal.
- Knock over a mic stand.
- Trip over a cable.
- Scoot a chair.
- Fall out of a chair.
- Knock over a drink.
- Smoke, setting off the smoke alarm.
- Stop playing at the first error, ruining the rest of a usable take.
- Swear at the first error, ruining the rest of a usable take.
- Insist on redoing an acceptable take.
- Ask the engineer to do impossible things.
- Get in the way during another musician's take.
- Make noises during another musician's take.
LINKS
- Home
- MIXING menu
- LIVE MIXING TIPS
- TAPE MIXING TIPS
- BOUNCING TECHNIQUES
- PANNING TECHNIQUES
- COMMON MIXING MISTAKES
- LIVE TO 4 WITH PANNING
The ultimate ruined session: