About life, driving, and computers

Updated 04/20/21

Some of the things that happen in life are so STOOOPID that there are no words to describe them. Or at least there weren't any. Here are a few words to fill in the gap.

  1. Abluton (N) - The unit charge of cleanliness (Antonym: ENTROPON)
  2. Ackpuce (N) - The ugliest color ever created
  3. Adipositron (N) - The unit charge of obesity
  4. Alice Gearing (N) - Mishearing of Aliskiren (a hypertension drug)
  5. Alpoet (N) - Writer of dog-food commercials
  6. American Excuse Card (N) - Any credit card used to spend money beyond one's means (See EGOCARD)
  7. Andage (N) - Multiple repetitions of "Oh! One more thing!" (CF. the "Columbo" TV series.)
  8. Angry Fruit Cocktail (N) - Too much clutter on a web page (Also Angry Fruit Salad *)
  9. Angry Fruit Cocktail With Bugs (N) - Too much clutter on a web page, along with frenzied motion
  10. Angry Swarming Bugs (N) - Too much animation on a web page
  11. Anonymice (N) - Anonymous sources
  12. Arachnoleptic Fit (N) - The frantic dance performed just after walking through a spider web ****
  13. Arsday (N) - Thursday (from the practice of using R for Thursday in college schedules of classes)
  14. Artchitect (N) - An architect who places the beauty he can create above the functionality of the building
  15. Artchitecture (N) - The design of a building that has beauty, but no functionality
  16. ASCIIbetical Order (A) - In the order of the ASCII character set, with all capital letters sorted before all lowercase letters
  17. ASOTV (PH) - As Seen On TV
  18. Aswat (A) - In the direction of the swat
  19. Attidude (N) - The laid-back overconfidence of a novice
  20. Audiovisualoglyphics (N) - Pictorial symbols on the buttons of a remote control for audio-visual equipment (See LAUNDROGLYPHICS, GROWLOGLYPHICS)
  21. Autocomputotastrophe (N) - An automobile crash caused by the failure of the on-board computer
  22. Autolescent (N) - A very bad driver, who is self-centered in nature
  23. Autolopithicus (N) - A driver with prehistoric roots, who believes that there is nothing wrong with drinking and driving, breaking traffic laws, and endangering other motorists (See AUTOLESCENT) (Also see SQUATWELLIAN in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  24. Baccalottery (N) - The gamble you make when you get a fake diploma instead of attending classes
  25. Badzoic Era (N) - The geologic age when everything in the world started to go wrong
  26. Bagpref (N) - Paper or plastic (See PAYPREF)
  27. Bambooze (V) - What alcoholic beverages do to the brain
  28. Barghum (N) - The sticky syrup on everything in a bar, resulting from spilled beer
  29. Bargoon (N) - A bargain that turns out to not be such a bargain
  30. Basebrawl (N) - A game, in which people combine playing baseball with having bench-clearing fights (See BASKETBRAWL, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  31. Basilicates (N) - The minerals they make basilicas out of
  32. Basketbrawl (N) - 1. A game, in which people combine playing basketball with having bench-clearing fights
    2. Indiana Pacers vs Detroit Pistons 11/20/2004 (See BASEBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  33. Bawl Game (N) - How liberals get their way * (See BRAWL GAME)
  34. Beachketball (N) - Basketball played with a beach ball and huge hoops
  35. Bean DP (N) - Using a computer to do bean-counting inventory
  36. Beelzebug (N) - Satan, in the form of a mosquito in your bedroom at 3 am - Cannot be cast out ****
  37. Beeriad (N) - 10000 cans of beer
  38. Biadversarial (A) - Describing sports where two teams play against each other
  39. Bicker Bonnet (N) - The hat that is worn when the person is argumentative
  40. Bidydle (N) - A bicycle used to break traffic laws
  41. Big Band Theory (PH) - The origin of the universe, according to "The Picture Book of Relativity"
  42. Big Bother (N) - Intrusive government
  43. Bilkage (N) - Money taken by a scam
  44. Billionormilliarding (V) - Getting the US numbering system mixed up with the world numbering system (See SI standards for a chart showing the differences between the numbering systems)
  45. Bimb (N) - One of a series of globular light fixtures, each hanging at the bottom of its own loop of festoon wiring, which is strung between ceiling or post attachment points
  46. Bioblat (N, V, IJ) - Passing gas
  47. Bisackual (N) - Will take either paper or plastic sacks
  48. Bituperate (V) - To verbally abuse people for doing either of the only two available alternatives
  49. Blabentaior (N) - A news commentator who does nothing but blab and blab
  50. Blabber Incontinence (N) - "I'm talking, and I can't shut up!"
  51. Blabberhea (N) - The disease that causes non-stop talking
  52. Blabbertyjabbrer (S) - 1. Everyone talking at once
    2. The sound of a phone scrambler
    3. Receiving a single-sideband signal on an amplitude-modulated receiver
  53. Blabbery (N) - 1. The misdemeanor of talking too much
    2. Using drivel to mislead people
  54. Blabiot (N) - An idiot who won't shut up
  55. Blatticide (N) - The act of killing roaches *
  56. Blebium (N) - The chemical that pimples are made of
  57. BLecc6 (IJ - pronounced "bleksix") - The page author's reaction to the overcoverage of Michael Jackson's death (BLecc6 was the Captcha security code when the page author posted a message complaining about the overcoverage.)
  58. Bligs (N) - Obligations
  59. Blooium (N) - The substance that makes equipment go blooey
  60. Bluk (N, A) - Pertaining to advertisements received through email (Cf. Bulk)
  61. Blurp (V) - To blur the mouth of someone who says a bad word on TV, as well as muting the sound
  62. Boattom (N) - The underside of a watercraft
  63. Boditi (N) - A tattoo (body graffiti)
  64. BOGO (AC) - Buy one - Get one (free) *
  65. Bohr Bug (N) - A repeatable computer bug * (See EINSTEINBUG, HEISENBUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  66. Boiped To Death (PH) - Inundated with telemarketing phone calls (from the 'boip' sound)
  67. Bomblastic (A) - Describing the noise of a terrorist bomb going off as "violating the noise ordinance"
  68. Boombastic (A) - Describing the sound of a passing BOOMCAR
  69. Boomcar (N) - An automobile with a booming THUMPER *
  70. Bosstastrophe (N) - An automobile accident caused by the boss yelling at the driver (his employee) over a cell phone
  71. Bothsider (N) - A driver who drives in the center lane of a one-way street, trying to get the first parking space found on either side - usually causes an accident trying to get the space
  72. Botto (N) - An image of an ordinary incandescent light bulb used to portray a fake UFO
  73. Bozone (N) - A substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating ****
  74. Braaacket (N) - The unfair tournament bracket
  75. Bragium (N) - A chemical substance that makes people brag
  76. Brain Bucket (N) - Safety helmet *
  77. Brain Remover (N) - An alcoholic beverage that is 100 proof or higher - Science has now shown that excessive drinking causes the brain to shrink and lose function - Could be a cause of SLOUCHED BRAIN
  78. Bratosaurus (N) - Where brats (bratwurst) come from
  79. Brawl Game (N) - A sporting event disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  80. Brimlets (N) - Diabetic testing supplies (ad by Wilford Brimley)
  81. Broker (A) - What you become after you use the services of one
  82. Browseocoveter (N) - A web page designer who wants to keep you from using your browser controls while on his website
  83. Brushery (N) - A truckload of brush that has been cut-down and removed
  84. Brute and Verify (A) - Describing computer menus that drive you nuts making sure you want to do what you did
  85. Bustworthy (A) - Easily broken
  86. CaCaCase (N) - Text with random shifts between uppercase and lowercase - eXamPlE: vERy aNnOYIng
  87. Cacajillion (U) - The total number of things that can possibly go wrong **
  88. Caffiend (N) - A person who can't get through the day without caffeine (See DECAFALON)
  89. Californicate (V) - 1. To behave like HOLLYWODD actors and actresses do in TV shows
    2. To believe that the California government actually knows what it is doing
  90. Californitritus (N) - All of those labels on equipment saying that it contains something "known to the State of California" to be harmful in some obscure way or another - Treat them as the trash they are, because California doesn't really have any proof to back up what it "knows"
  91. Candbid (V) - Accidentally bidding on an item at an auction, by inadvertently making a gesture
  92. Car Challenger (N) - A HINDENCAR
  93. Car Hockey (N) - 1. Figure 8 racing 2. NASCAR racing
  94. Carberg (N) - A chunk of ice or snow attached to the back of a car fender (See MALLBERG, SNOWBERG)
  95. Cannonboxclog (N) - A pool filter clogged with Progressive Insurance boxes
  96. Cansas (N) - A recycle bin full of cans, rattling in the wind
  97. Canucopia (N) - Trash cans of plenty
  98. Cashatrophic (A) - Out of money
  99. Cashtration (N) - The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period ****
  100. Caterpallor (N) - The color you turn after finding half a worm in your apple ****
  101. Celebratty (A) - Describing a well-known musician, actor, or public figure acting like a spoiled brat
  102. Celebraty (N) - A well-known musician, actor, or public figure who acts like a spoiled brat
  103. Cellophase (N) - To phase into and out of paying attention to your driving, because you are on a cell phone
  104. Cellublab (N) - One side of a cell phone conversation heard by others in the room (See CELLVERSATION)
  105. Cellulite Phone (N) - A portable phone, because you don't have to run to answer it, you gain weight
  106. Cellupacifier (N) - A sledgehammer used to permanently silence cellular phones
  107. Cellusnapture (N) - Catching someone in a ridiculous pose with a cell phone camera
  108. Celluyodel (S) - A ringing cellular phone driving people nuts
  109. Cellversation (N) - A person, distracting others by apparently talking to himself, who is actually on a cellular phone (See CELLUBLAB)
  110. Cesspoo (N) - The detritus that is found in a cesspool
  111. Cheaticap (N) - 1. A handicap that allows a player to cheat
    2. Parking in a handicap parking space when you are not handicapped
  112. Choon (N) - 1. The shape of one section of a hanging insulator used to support megavolt power lines from poles
    2. Anything else the same shape (a small bell)
  113. Chopera (N) - An opera interrupted by a power failure
  114. Chortleography (N) - The art of composing dance steps or laws that are funny
  115. Cigabutt (N) - The most often distributed litter, a cigarette butt
  116. Cigliar (N) - Someone who says he quit smoking, but didn't
  117. Cisco Kid, The (N) - The icon for "Network drive not available" (looks like a man in a cowboy hat on a low-resolution monitor)
  118. Clairbrainiant (A) - ODDIOTIC
  119. Cliptomaniac (N) - A kleptomaniac who steals only paper clips (4th word I coined)
  120. Clockmare (N) - 1. How DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME messes up things
    2. Being the janitor of a building with 157 public clocks on the day the time changes for DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME
  121. Clocktonite (N) - The mysterious substance inside an office clock that slows down civil service workers after 2 pm
  122. Clue-by-four (N) - The act of adding whack to something that is out of whack
  123. Coblabberate (V) - To cooperate through total blabber
  124. Coffee oneself into the restroom (V PH) - Drink so much coffee that you need the restroom
  125. Cogblat (S) - The clash of gears caused by a driver trying to learn to drive a stick shift
  126. Coinologium (N) - Any word coined from the name of some obscure, long-forgotten event or place
  127. Commit Truth (V) - To tell the truth, even though it is not within the guidelines of POLITICAL CORRECTION **
  128. Complosion (N) - An explosion intended to compress matter, Erroneously called "implosion"
  129. Conphylactic (N) - A leaky condom
  130. Contact Bridge (N) - A card game where people get mad and chase each other around the room (See TACKLE PINOCHLE)
  131. Copyrat (N) - A copyright holder who will not place a discontinued product in the public domain, keeping those who need it from getting it
  132. Cordurog (N) - A single repetition of the ridges in corduroy material (See CORRUG)
  133. Corrodium (N) - What dead batteries are made of (See PRE-CORRODIUM)
  134. Corrodium Warning (N) - "Do not lose this radio in closet while installing dead batteries."
  135. Corrug (N) - A single repetition of the folds in the center of corrugated cardboard (See CORDUROG)
  136. COVIDictator (V) - A politician who dictates draconian rules to fight the virus.
  137. Crastinator (N) - A person adept at delaying, who has not yet turned professional
  138. Credirt (N) - A very poor credit rating
  139. Danger Constancy, Laws of (PH) - 1. The amount of danger in the world at any time is a constant
    2. Danger is conserved. Danger can be neither created nor destroyed
  140. Dangtoe (N) - The toe you keep stubbing
  141. Debtpasser (N) - A person who uses the word DEBTPASSES when saying the Lord's Prayer
  142. Debtpasses (N) - The word spoken by someone saying the Lord's Prayer who starts to say "debts" when the rest of the congregation says "trespasses" - The resulting word spoken is "debtpasses."
  143. Decafalon (N) - Getting through the day without caffeine **** (See CAFFIEND)
  144. Deeple (N) - The line on an appliance that tells how full you can fill it - Also Maxfill
  145. Deficiency Apartment (N) - 1. An apartment with two rooms, one of them being a bathroom
    2. Any apartment that has decayed because it has been under rent control for years
  146. Deja-Moo (PH) - "I've heard this bull before."
  147. Delay-Off (N) - When both sides counter each other with continuances
  148. Dellinkquent (N) - The guy on the Staples commercial who freaks out over a lack of Dell ink
  149. Depodiated (A) - A speaker who, when told to come up to the podium, finds there isn't one to stand on, but just a lectern
  150. Deprecator (N) - An elitist who won't leave existing computer languages alone, but has to change them
  151. Despotician (N) - A politician who is a despot
  152. Despotition (N) - A deposition made with criminal intent
  153. Dimelich Maneuver (N) - The process by which a waiter squeezes the tip from the customer's pocket
  154. Dimpled Chad (N) - A defect in a computer punch card that is caused by a dirty card reader
  155. Disasteroid (N) - A large rock hurtling to destroy the earth in a disaster movie or a History Channel SCARESHOW
  156. Discongenuous (A) - When a company discontinues needed products, or says "Your call is important to us" for two hours of keeping you on hold
  157. Discrumbinate (V) - To remove crumbs
  158. Disfroginate (V) - To remove the frog from one's throat before speaking
  159. Dishwashable (A) - Able to be washed in a dishwasher without being damaged
  160. Dislaboration (N) - The state of politicians or labor unions working against each other
  161. Dodge Mahal (N) - A gold-plated diamond-studded 1969 Dodge Charger
  162. Doe Snot (PH) - A common typo of "does not"
  163. Dongle (N) - A device attached to a computer that proves to the software that the user has purchased the software, and thus has a right to use it and violates the law once the copyright expires *
  164. Dopeler Effect (N) - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly ****
  165. Dotcompoop (N) - Person who can't surf the Internet
  166. Double Drick (N) - A large-area power failure, such as the one on 11/9/1965 (See DRICK)
  167. Double Entawdry (N) - A phrase that has two meanings, with one of them being sexually suggestive
  168. Double-Hued Cellphonium (N) - A cell phone that glows with two colors at night (cf Double-belled euphonium)
  169. Downbardment (N) - Microsoft Update disrupting your work
  170. Dratify (V) - To affirm mistakes as part of the plan
  171. Dratoff (N) - A mistake contest
  172. Drayne (N) - Any person, government program, or process that destroys wealth
  173. Dreamlinercar (N) - Electric car on fire
  174. Drick (S, N) - A power failure (From the TV series "Green Acres")
  175. Dricken (N) - Plural of DRICK - multiple power failures
  176. Dricker (N) - The cause of a power failure (See DRICK)
  177. Droit (N) - A French robot that takes away your rights and money, giving them to undeserving artists
  178. Droneswatter (N) - A very large flyswatter used to swat down drones
  179. Drownpour (N) - Rain heavy enough to drown small animals
  180. DST Bug (N) - The computer and equipment errors that occur because the legislated beginning and ending dates for DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME changed in 2007 so existing software and equipment changed on the wrong date (see DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  181. Ducksnort (N) - A baseball hit just beyond the infield *
  182. Dupid (A) - Stupid enough to be duped
  183. Dupidity (N) - Stupid enough to be duped
  184. DVDemolish (V) - What you have to do to the packaging to get to the actual DVD disc, due to the anti-theft packaging
  185. Dwoodle (V) - How an elongated ellipsoid rolls erratically (e.g. rugby ball)
  186. Dyslexia Amplifier (N) - A web page that constantly changes. repeatedly erasing the mental text buffer of a dyslexic person, so he can't read the page contents
  187. Dystypic (A) - Typing the letters of words in the WORNG order
  188. Eblabberate (V) - Use blabber to elaborate
  189. Eboink (S) - The sound a computer makes when an email arrives
  190. Eboppity (IJ) - The internet strikes back
  191. Edirtorialize (V) - To add bias or innuendo to an article
  192. Egocard (N) - A credit card with no limit (See AMERICAN EXCUSE CARD)
  193. Einsteinbug (N) - A computer bug that requires a major change in the way the software works to fix it (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  194. Ellwait (N) - The time someone loses or wastes by using mass transit
  195. Enemess (N) - 1. The messiness of a sloppy enema
    2. The mess created by an enemies list (equivalent to #1)
  196. Entropon (N) - The unit charge of messiness (Antonym: ABLUTON)
  197. Evain (A) - vanity in email
  198. Evianated (V) - The feeling you get as you buy your bottled water, and suddenly realize that "Evian" is "naive" spelled backwards
  199. Exaster (N) - 1. A former disaster
    2. An ex-wife
  200. Excedrache (N) - A headache caused by trying to open the Excedrin bottle
  201. Execublabber (N) - Drivel produced by a government or corporate executive (See LEGISBLABBER)
  202. Exfiltrate (V) - To steal computer files
  203. Exit Tramp (N) - A beggar who stands at the local street end of an exit ramp with a sign, asking for money
  204. Exoid (N) - The monster who used to be your spouse
  205. Expert (N) - Unknown drip under pressure (cf. x = unknown + spurt = drip under pressure) *
  206. Eye Swatter (N) - A cold drink
  207. Facebook Fog (N) - The sudden realization that you have no idea what was going on in class while you were on Facebook
  208. Failacy (N) - Propensity to fail
  209. Fairgle (V) - To yell "It's not fair" when you lose - the chief activity of many liberals
  210. Fakade (N) - A fake facade
  211. Fallic (A) - Full of fallacy
  212. Fanatasy (N) - Fanatic fantasy
  213. Faqirial (A) - A day short and a dollar late
  214. Faqiry (N, pronounced "fakery") - One of the fake fairies that liberals postulate to exist to provide the missing wealth needed to make the LIVING WAGE and other impossible plans FEASE
  215. Fauxtography (N) - Making PHAKE photos
  216. Faxic Waste (N) - When ads come through the fax, wasting your supplies
  217. Fease (V) - To be feasible * (See TANGE)
  218. Feasily (AV) - doably
  219. Feasy (A) - Easily feasible
  220. Feeloader (N) - 1. A government agency that makes money from excessive fees
    2. Police departments and courts that can increase their budgets by increasing the number of tickets and fines
    3. Police, fire, and ambulance departments who charge the victims they help for the emergency services they get
    4. A state highway department paid for by tolls
  221. Feuditi (N) - Graffiti arising from a feud
  222. Fidgetbuster (N) - 1. A U.S. Senate debate that keeps legislators alert and concentrating
    2. A toy given to a child to keep him quiet at church
  223. Filtray (V) - Portray in a way that gets through filter software
  224. Fistevities (N) - Celebrations where fistfights break out
  225. Flewpart (N) - A FLYPART that can not be found after a PARTFLY occurs (See GRUMMIES)
  226. Flig (S) - A sound heard in a game show or a video game
  227. Flyable Part (N) - FLYPART that has not yet flown (See FLYPART)
  228. Flypart (N) - A part in a machine that is spring-loaded, so it flies out of place as soon as the retaining parts are removed (See FLYABLE PART, PARTFLY, FLEWPART, GRUMMIES)
  229. Flyswatter Interchange (N) - A traffic interchange so poorly designed that it looks like they just put a bunch of interchange parts over a clay model of the area, and then took a flyswatter and went SPLAT! An example of a flyswatter interchange can be found in New London, Connecticut, at the intersection of I-95, US-1, and Connecticut 32. Flyswatter interchanges often lack ramps for some movements.
  230. Fogl (V) - 1. To fake a UFO photograph
    2. To bamboozle people with a fake UFO photograph
  231. Fogmare (N) - 1. A nightmarishly thick fog
    2. A huge multiple vehicle traffic accident caused by fog
  232. FOMO (AC) - Fear of missing out *
  233. Fook (V) - To blind a camera system or a person with a bright flash of light
  234. Fooperize (V) - Send the drive-thru carrier through the tube to the teller (CF. the sound often made)
  235. Footbrawl (N) - A football game disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, RACEBRAWL)
  236. Foreploy (N) - Any misrepresentation made for the purpose of getting laid ****
  237. Fortpolio (N) - A set of investments that paralyze your funds
  238. Frankencorn (N) - Genetically engineered grain *
  239. Frankenlight (N) - A light fixture that suddenly changes brightness at long random intervals
  240. Frankenstink (N) - The awful smell in any chemistry laboratory
  241. Frankenstorm (N) - The merging of a hurricane and a winter storm, as happened with Hurricane Sandy
  242. Frap Rays (N) - 1. Science fiction rays found in 1950s comic books
    2. Science fiction rays found in Calvin and Hobbes "Spaceman Spiff" episodes
    3. Why people crave frappes
  243. Fratily (AV) - In the manner of a college fraternity
  244. Fraudtopsy (N) - Fake alien autopsy *
  245. Fromare (N) - A nightmare about cheese
  246. Frustralia (N) - A country with a government that frustrates everyone
  247. Fubbafluwatch (N) - The thing you can't think of the name of when you need it * (See SPLIDNOOG)
  248. Funderful (A) - Wonderfully fun
  249. Garbageabetical Order (N) - The result of sorting a database on a field that has not yet been filled in, so the computer sorts the database using the disk trash from previous files that it finds there
  250. Garbaggage (N) - The extra junk added to windows Vista and up to make it work with a cell phone
  251. Gasp Mileage (N) - The shock of your low miles per dollar
  252. Geigers (U) - What a Geiger counter counts
  253. Ghost Handicapped (PH) - Being a non-handicapped person sharing a car with a handicapped person and parking in a handicap space so the handicapped person can use it next
  254. Gigaperson (N) - A unit of measure equal to 1,000,000,000 people used to describe the world population - The world population is approximately 6 gigapersons in 2005 AD. That is 6 billion people (US numbering) or 6 milliard people (world numbering - See SI standards for a chart on the difference between US numbering and world numbering)
  255. Gigglepathic (N) - The portion of the testimony that causes the audience to giggle
  256. Gigli (A) - Very bad: Used to describe the film by the same name. Also describes the economy-destroying platforms of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and John Kerry.
  257. Giraffiti (N) - Vandalism spray-painted very, very high ****
  258. Glibido (N) - All talk and no action ****
  259. Glitchital (A) - The propensity of digital equipment to be glitched (disturbed by transients)
  260. Glurk (S) - Someone suddenly sitting on a couch or bed, causing someone else sitting there who was drinking to spill the drink
  261. Gnarble (V) - To accidentally encrypt data with garbage for the encryption key
  262. Go-Faster Windows (N) - Slanted windows on buses that make them look ten times faster than they are
  263. Government Waist (N) - Obesity resulting from government-induced stress
  264. Grammardemalian (N) - Teacher with bad grammar
  265. Grateless (N) - The opposite of grateful **
  266. Gravitime (N) - The new theory by Larry Robinson that time causes gravity
  267. Greeble (N) - A detail added to a surface (as on a movie miniature) to make it look more real * (See NURNY, WIGGET)
  268. Griddy Kilobuck (PH) - A utility that charges wholesale prices that can fluctuate widely with $1000 electric bills in power shortages
  269. Gross Ignoramus (A) - 144 times ordinary ignoramus, describing most government meetings, and anyone in favor of DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME * (see DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  270. Growloglyphics (N) - Pictorial how-to instructions on packaging containing plants, bulbs, or seeds (See LAUNDROGLYPHICS, AUDIOVISUALOGLYPHICS)
  271. Grummies (N) - Little parts that get lost easily
  272. Grumptious (N) - Extremely grumpy
  273. Gubble-gubble (S) - An instance of forgetting what you were going to say
  274. Gyrese (N) - Whirling Dervish language
  275. Haberdashanoid (N) - Someone more worried about how his clothes look than about what's going on
  276. Hackmow (N) - The lawn care guy I didn't hire
  277. Haftas (N) - Things that have to be done
  278. Hairanoid (N) - Someone more worried about how his hair looks than about what's going on
  279. Hairdon't (N) - What not to do to your hair (Antonym: Hairdo)
  280. Handmonster (N) - That scary-looking crescent with hands on the "Safe Place" signs
  281. Handsphreak (N) - A person who believes that it is safe to use a hands-free phone while driving
  282. Handsphwreck (N) - A HANDSPHREAK who got into a wreck due to being distracted while talking on a cell phone
  283. Hangtail (N) - That pesky odd-sized page in a newspaper advertising insert
  284. Happenable (A) - Possible to do **
  285. Happeneur (N) - A person who makes things happen **
  286. Harmio (N) - An evil robot droid
  287. Hatist (N) - A reporter who propagates his hate
  288. Headweak (A) - The opposite of headstrong *
  289. Heedless Horseman (N) - A driver who does not think before doing - Probably has a case of SLOUCHED BRAIN *
  290. Heisenbug (N) - A computer bug that disappears during attempts to locate it * (See BOHR BUG, EINSTEINBUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  291. Hermoan (N) - Female hormone
  292. Hindencar (N) - A hydrogen-powered car, after it exploded (See CAR CHALLENGER, KAHUKUCAR)
  293. Hintron (N) - One single entry in the help menu of software
  294. Hipatitis (N) - Terminal coolness ****
  295. Hollerithabetical Order (A) - In the order of the Hollerith punch card code character set, as sorted on a card sorter, with all capital letters sorted before all lowercase letters, and numbers mixed into the letters
  296. Hollywodd (N) - Any place where all morality is abandoned - Hollywood at its oddest (See CALIFORNICATE)
  297. Hoolywodd (N) - Any place where all morality is abandoned - Hollywood at its oddest (See CALIFORNICATE)
  298. Humanist-Resources Department (N) - A hiring department that unconstitutionally requires all new employees to be POLITICALLY CORRECT
  299. HUNG (AC A) - Hung until no good *
  300. Hunt-and-Park System (N) - A system for government employee parking where the number of PARKING STINKERS issued is greater than the number of parking spaces available
  301. Hurry-Wart (N) - A driver in too much of a hurry to be safe
  302. Hydrogen Power (N) - A scam masquerading as an energy source
  303. Hypnosoft (N) The circling "please wait" swirl on the Windows 7 opening screen that hypnotizes people into buying more Microsoft products
  304. Idiodyssey (N) - A fool's errand, including most of what government makes people do
  305. Idiotorialist (N) - A reporter who propagates his beliefs, rather than the truth
  306. Ignoranus (N) - 1. A person who is both stupid and an ass ****
    2. A person who is stupid at both ends
  307. Ignority (N) - An ignored minority
  308. Imperforations (N) - Imperfect perforations in bills, stubs, or stamps
  309. Indestructium (N) - The plastic the unopenable clear sales packaging for flash drives is made of
  310. Infilthrator (N) - A person who thinks there is nothing wrong with pornography, and spreads it everywhere he can - an originator of unwanted pornographic email
  311. Infoolence (N) - Bad advice from someone with power
  312. Inoculatte (N) - To take coffee intravenously when you are running late ****
  313. Insatrument (N) - An instrument that lies, malfunctions, or can't be calibrated
  314. Insultant (N) - The consultant a company sends to help and insult you
  315. Intaxication (N) - Euphoria from a tax refund, which lasts only until you realize that it was your money to start with ****
  316. Interget (N) - The Internet, when used for buying or winning prizes
  317. Java Man (N) - Someone with prehistoric roots, who can't function without coffee
  318. John the Worst (N) - The Prince John in the Robin Hood story
  319. Kahukucar (N) - Hybrid car on fire (cf. Kahuku Hawaii 2012 wind farm storage battery building fire)
  320. Karmacide (N) - When one person's karma runs over another person's dogma
  321. Keyboardophile (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a keyboard command over a mouse command
  322. Knarfle (V) - To mess up a computer file
  323. Lampson (U) - The unit (abbr. Ls) of speed of human speech (Normal speech is 200 millilampsons) *
  324. Landscupper (V) - To remove all of the traffic signs restricting turns into or out of a place of business in the process of "landscaping"
  325. Laudiot (V) - A person, usually a politician, who wrongfully expects to be honored
  326. Laundroglyphics (N) - Pictorial how-to instructions on garment tags for doing laundry (See AUDIOVISUALOGLYPHICS, GROWLOGLYPHICS)
  327. Lawdiot (V) - A person, usually a politician, who misunderstands the law
  328. Lawyer (V) - To sic a lawyer on someone
  329. Lawyer Up (V) - To get a lawyer, ending police questioning *
  330. Lawyurp (N) - A lawyer who makes people sick
  331. Leap Year (N) - Nature's revenge on politicians for imposing DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME
  332. Left-overs (N) - The paltry amount we get to keep when the Left takes over the government
  333. Leftunders (N) - Bits of food that fall under the table for the cat to eat (Kit n' Carlisle comic strip)
  334. Legisblabber (N) - Drivel produced by a government legislature (See EXECUBLABBER)
  335. Lemonicious (N) - Faulty (especially used cars)
  336. Lenojustice (N) - Guilty!
  337. Lenolack (N) - Brains not included
  338. Licentious License (N) - A nasty or offensive personalized license plate
  339. Lickproof Stamp (N) - A peel-and-stick postage stamp
  340. Liewitness (N) - A perjurer
  341. Lig (A) - A metal holder for an Ace bandage *
  342. Liminary (A) - Introductory * (See POSTLIMINARY)
  343. Liquese (N) - Drunken speech
  344. Listdexic (A) - Unable to follow a line of text in a wide list
  345. Listenowboss (N) - A boss who creates a traffic hazard by demanding that his employees must always be reachable by cell phone, even when they are driving (This should be a crime)
  346. Long Billion (N) - The long scale billion = 1,000,000,000,000 = 10^12 (as opposed to SHORT BILLION = 10^9)
  347. Long Trillion (N) - The long scale trillion = 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 = 10^18 (as opposed to SHORT BILLION = 10^12)
  348. Looney Eclipse (N) - When people go mad during an eclipse
  349. Lootery (N) - 1. What most people perceive a state lottery to be: A source of loot
    2. The government revenue from a state lottery
  350. Lord of the Files (N) - The sysop
  351. Losercase (N) - Regular text typed with the CAPS LOCK key accidentally turned on (See STUPID CASE)
  352. Losiana (N) - Where lost stuff goes
  353. Loyer (N) - A lawyer who loiters in hospitals
  354. Magnum Cum Latte (PH) - Strong coffee (See SUMMA CUM LATTE)
  355. Mallberg (N) - The huge piles of snow seen in shopping malls for weeks after the rest of the snow in the area is gone (See CARBERG, SNOWBERG)
  356. Malquacktice (N, V, A) - Medical malpractice
  357. Mandelbug (N) - A computer bug with an obscure complex cause * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, EINSTEINBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  358. Manextortment (N) - Management that uses extreme pressure to squeeze every last bit of extra performance from employees - Causes obesity
  359. Meanace (N) - A menace who is also mean
  360. Megabucksic (A) - Extremely expensive
  361. Memobe (N) - One of the little things that carry memos on computer networks
  362. Meringue Noisette (N) - The fake squish sound used when a pie is thrown
  363. Messterpiece (N) - 1. Antonym of masterpiece
    2. The result of liberals trying to fix the economy
    3. The result of a giant food fight
    4. The result of a ruined recording studio session
  364. Metrefutation (N) - Demonstration that English units work better in the real world
  365. Misteak (N) - A mistake within a mistake, or a recursive misteak (5th word I coined)
  366. Mnemory (N) - Memory based on mnemonics
  367. Mobnopoly (N) - A monopoly created through the use of intellectual property
  368. Moehair (N) - A tuft of hair ripped from any of the Three Stooges
  369. Moostrated (A) - Not enough room to get past a moose in the road
  370. Mousageddon (N) - World War III caused by one wrong mouse click
  371. Mouse Manure (N) - The results produced by bad science
  372. Mouse Potato (N) - Internet addict *
  373. Moused Up (V) - Having just made a mistake with a computer mouse
  374. Mousecar (N) - A Kia Soul (from the ad where mice are driving toasters and the Kia Soul)
  375. Mousemilk (V, N) - Make a big issue out of something inconsequential *
  376. Mouseteadious (A) - Very steady handling of the mouse
  377. Mousetidious (A) - Very careful mouse use
  378. Mousetied (A) - The state of having to stay within a certain distance of the computer or DAW to work the mouse
  379. Mousetrap (N) - A web page that works with a touch screen, but not with a mouse
  380. Mousfunction (N) - A mouse misfunction
  381. Mousion (N) - The use of a computer mouse
  382. Mouso (N) - Mousographical error *
  383. Mousophile (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a mouse command over a keyboard command
  384. Mousophobe (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a keyboard command over a mouse command
  385. Moustered (N) - Flustered by a malfunctioning mouse
  386. Moustake (N) - A mistaken mouse click
  387. Mousteadious (A) - Steadiness in use of a mouse
  388. Moustidious (A) - Neatness in use of a mouse
  389. Moustified (A) - Can't use a computer mouse
  390. Moustrained (A) - Not enough room to use a computer mouse
  391. Moustrated (A) - Not enough room to use a computer mouse
  392. Muda (N - pronounced "myooda") - The strange-shaped white lamp globes covering ceiling light fixtures found in government buildings, made in the 1930s and 1940s (They look like the ends of trumpet mutes)
  393. Multiflusher (N) - Someone using a new 1.6 gallon/flush toilet, needing 3 flushes to clear the waste
  394. Muppered (A) - Slapped with a stupid lawsuit to stop MUPPY THREE trading
  395. Muppy Three (N) - MP-3
  396. Muriad (N) - 10,000 mice
  397. MySpite (N) - A MySpace account used to spite other people
  398. Naggravating (A) - Naggingly aggravating (e.g. Political Correctness)
  399. Nap Up (V) - The act of a nap sneaking up on someone ("It just napped up on me.")
  400. Nar (N) - The whole picture (instead of two seminars)
  401. Nasticulous (A) - Ridiculously nasty
  402. Nastorious (A) - Notoriously nasty
  403. Nastycar (N) - An auto race that is won by causing opponents to crash (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  404. Naughty-Bits-Deleted-For-Tat (PH) - Overcensorship (by security software) of perfectly harmless phrases containing words that also have obscene definitions
  405. Navigrabber (N) - A web advertisement that expands to cover the navigation buttons on a web page, so you can't leave until the ad finishes playing
  406. Neat Czar (N) - A public official who requires all properties to be clean, neat, and tidy
  407. Necessary Security (PH) - Term reserved for a kit consisting of a blanket and a pacifier
  408. Nerble (N) - A pause in an online video because the data stream can't keep up with the playback
  409. Newlywife (N) - What a husband proudly calls his new wife
  410. Nignull (N) - The removal of night prophesied in Revelation
  411. Nividue (N) - Snow on the ground
  412. Nogbutt (N) - A New-Year's Eve drunk making a donkey's rear end of himself
  413. Norton (V) - To fuss around while getting ready to write
  414. Noyed (N) - A paranoid annoyed by a noise
  415. Nurge (V) - To repeatedly move a car closer to the intersection, as if that could make the light turn green faster - Actually, it can do the opposite, if the car moves off of the detector (leaving it empty) *
  416. Nurny (N) - A part from a plastic model kit that is used for some other purpose * (also Nurnie. See GREEBLE, WIGGET)
  417. Nutwork (N) - A TV network that cancels all of the good shows
  418. Obesistress (N) - Undue stress that causes obesity
  419. Obnoxage (N) - The amount of OBNOXITY in a system
  420. Obnoxity (N) - A high degree of obnoxiousness
  421. Obsoloot (N) - Money dishonestly earned by companies who force people to buy the new product by no longer supporting the old product - Microsoft and Intel are prime examples
  422. Oddiotic (A) - Believing in odd idiotic things
  423. Offertunity (N) - The time in the church service when they take the offering
  424. Oldance (N) - An old nuance
  425. Omegalomaniac (N) - A person who is afraid of the end of the world
  426. Oniondated (A) - Overcome by onion flatus
  427. Orkadork (N) - The woman on the ad, who says, "Orca! Orca! Oh! I Love Orca!"
  428. Osaddamize (V) - 1. What terrorists do to people
    2. Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Barack Obama oppressing people
    3. Government imposing insensitive overkill security to prevent terrorism
  429. Osaddamized (A) - 1. Describing a victim of terrorism
    2. Describing victims of Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Barack Obama oppressing people
    3. Describing the victims of insensitive overkill security to prevent terrorism
  430. Ostensopornosis (N) - A degenerate disease, with symptoms of extreme cravings for pornography ****
  431. Outmoot (V) - To make the mootest point in the debate
  432. Palindnilap (N) - The word "palindrome" rewritten as a palindrome (or a PALINDNILAP)
  433. Paralyze Parking (N) - 1. Parking arranged where cars are parked parallel to the traffic lanes - Every time someone wants to enter or leave a parking space, he has to block a lane, paralyzing traffic behind that space
    2. The medical results of careless maneuvering while parking
  434. Parapathetic (A) - Not knowing where one is going
  435. Parking Stinkers (N) - Stickers issued for government parking, so employees must pay a kickback to be able to go to work
  436. Parodig (N) - A parody that makes a sarcastic dig at something or someone
  437. Partfly (N) - One instance of what happens when you release the retaining parts holding a FLYPART
  438. Passturn (N) - The impatient driver who passes your car, then slows down and blocks you while waiting to turn left into his driveway
  439. Pay-Per-Bag Trash Stinkers (N) - Stickers required to be paid for and put on trash bags by the government-owned-monopoly municipal trash collection system
  440. Paypref (N) - Paper or plastic (See BAGPREF)
  441. Pedapulate (N) - To manipulate something with a foot
  442. Pedasstrian (N) - A person who crosses the street against the light
  443. Pedesstalrian (N) - The pedestrians the government puts on a pedestal when writing traffic laws
  444. Pedesturnated (A) - Describing a driver who starts to turn left through a gap in high-speed traffic, and is blocked in the way of the high speed traffic by a pedestrian who starts to cross right in front of him
  445. Pencilvania (N) - Where all the writing instruments disappear to, when you need to write
  446. Penlout (N) - The store cashier who takes your pen after you write a check, thinking it belongs to the store
  447. Pentupium (N) - A souped-up Pentium computer
  448. Percussive Maintenance (N) - Adding more whack to anything that is out of whack *
  449. Perspicapacious (A) - Having plenty of perspicacity
  450. Pervertity (N) - The capacity to CALIFORNICATE *
  451. Pessimum (A) - Antonym of optimum *
  452. Pestrian (N) - A pedestrian who believes that pedestrians always have the right of way, and who exercises this belief, even at his own peril, or even when it breaks the law
  453. Pext (N) - A pest who texts
  454. Phake (A) - Describing something fake, used to PHOOL people into doing something PHOOLISH
  455. Phishing (N) - Stealing a company's ID, then using it to steal the IDs of others * (See PHAKE, PHOOL, PHOOLISH)
  456. Phobiac (N) - Someone afraid of everything
  457. Phone-pong (N) - 1. A game where two people alternately leave messages asking for callbacks on each other's answering machines
    2. A game where a person repeatedly changes long-distance carriers to get all of the freebies
  458. Phoney (A) - Always on a cell phone
  459. Phoography (N) - PHAKE Photography (See FAUXTOGRAPHY, PHAKE)
  460. Phool (V) - To trick someone into doing something PHOOLISH with PHAKE information
  461. Phoolish (A) - Describing doing something that compromises security or an identity after reading PHAKE information
  462. Photoblast (N) - The disconcerting expansion of a picture as the mouse pointer passes over it
  463. Photohoarder (N) - The website developer who wants you to be able to see his photos, but not save copies of them
  464. Phraud (N) - The criminal act of PHOOLING people by PHISHING with PHAKE spoofed spam emails
  465. Pickanoid (N) - A person who gets paranoid over the tiniest annoyances
  466. Pickanweedia (N) - The faulty parts of Wikipedia
  467. Pickupable (A) - Able to be picked up by hand
  468. Pickybody (N) - 1. A person who gets very upset at the tiniest annoyances
    2. A person who demands that government shield him from the tiniest annoyances
  469. Pindler (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PNDLR (See PRIND..., PRINO...)
  470. Pixel Dust (N) - Individual pixels showing the wrong color due to digital photo format conversion (example: .bmp image converted to .jpg image)
  471. Plausar (N) - A massive object that emits pulses that make impossible things look plausible
  472. Plause (V) - To be plausible
  473. Plutonic Relationship (PH) - A relationship between two people that often volcanically erupts
  474. Pocket Dial (V) - To accidentally dial a cell phone while sitting on it in your pocket *
  475. Political Correction (PH) - A religious belief that was hijacked from the Baha'i Faith and made political
  476. Polyunfaturated (A) - Describing fat that is polyunsaturated
  477. Pooforations (N) - Perforations that go poof (disappear) when you try to tear along them
  478. Pook (S) - Microsoft Update interrupting your work (cf the sound effect Windows plays for the update icon)
  479. Poppaea Sabina (N) - The biological specie of an alleged race of space aliens, according to one pseudoscientist *
  480. Porndupe (N) - A victim of the black-eye prank (a cylinder supposedly containing "naughty" pictures)
  481. Postliminary (A) - Describing the main event (See LIMINARY)
  482. Postphone (V) - To send notice by telephone that a meeting is rescheduled to a later date (The first word I coined, at age 8)
  483. POTM bug (AC N) - Phase-Of-The-Moon Bug, a computer bug that occurs under strange conditions: The original POTM bug occurred on an early computer, where someone got the idea of adding the phase of the moon to the system clock output. The line was one character too long on Wednesdays in September when the phase was past the first or third quarter, causing the time buffer to overflow into the next byte, allocated for a different use. * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, EINSTEINBUG, MANDELBUG)
  484. Prairie-Dogging (V) - Popping up over the cubicle walls whenever something happens in the office *
  485. Pre-Corrodium (N) - What batteries are made of (See CORRODIUM)
  486. Pre-Empty (N) - A vacuum cleaner "refill" bag (pre-emptied? See RE-EMPTY)
  487. Pre-Numbskull Agreement (N) - An agreement designed to keep someone stupid enough to marry a golddigger from losing his shirt *
  488. Predator Creditor (N) - A creditor who makes a loan, expecting to make money by foreclosing on it
  489. Prephone (V) - To move the time of a meeting or event earlier by using a telephone *
  490. Prepone (V) - To move the time of a meeting or event earlier *
  491. Presenteeism (N) - Going to work when you are sick (Actual economics term) *
  492. Princess Runningmouth (N) - Elizabeth Warren *)
  493. Prindel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  494. Prindetuwun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND21 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  495. Prindewun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND1 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  496. Prindgur (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDGr (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  497. Prindhur (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDHr (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  498. Prindsel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDSL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  499. Prindud (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND⇑⇓ (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  500. Prinodel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNODL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  501. Prinodsel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNODSL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  502. Prinodetuwun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNOD21 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  503. Prinodewun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNOD1 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  504. Pro-Bonehead (A) - Describing a person who gets a lousy lawyer for free (pro-bono), rather than hiring a good one
  505. Pro-Maskon Man (V) - An overkill politician who demands that everyone wear virus masks
  506. Probgram (N) - A program with a problem with its operation
  507. Produck (N) - A fake product
  508. Prodyuct (N) - A badly made product
  509. Pucker Pea (N) - Harder peas grown to be frozen
  510. Purdon't (IJ) - What Indiana University fans shout when the team is playing against Purdue
  511. Purloot (N) - Purloined loot, as opposed to ordinary loot
  512. Quabble (N) - A squabble about quibbling
  513. Quadnary (N) - The quandary of whether to convert to surround sound
  514. Quadnery (N) - The question: Is it surround sound or not?
  515. Quety (N) - A questionable etymology (Example: They call a head statue a "bust" because the rest of it got busted off)
  516. Queueue (N) - A very long queue
  517. Racebrawl (N) - An auto race disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, NASTYCAR)
  518. Racestration (N) - Frustration with racial tension
  519. Racket Science (N) - 1. The bad science used to create government regulations
    2. The science used by con men
  520. Ramboast (N) - An overconfident swagger
  521. Ramskunktious (A) - Describing the behavior of a skunk (or a politician)
  522. Ransume (N - Pronounced "Ran-zoo-may") - The requirement of a well-written resume, demanded by a right-brained human resources manager: It keeps the left-brained people who are more suited to a technical job from being hired. (See HUMANIST-RESOURCES DEPARTMENT, RIGHTBRAIN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT)
  523. Re-Empty (N) - A vacuum cleaner "refill" bag (pre-emptied? See PRE-EMPTY)
  524. Recomfortable (A) - To be comfortable again after becoming uncomfortable
  525. Recumbering (V) - Riding a recumbent bicycle *
  526. Religiophobia (N) - The fear or hatred of religious beliefs
  527. Religiophobic (A) - Of the fear or hatred of religious beliefs
  528. Repeatza (N) - A pizza that produces a lot of gas when eaten (also REPIZZA)
  529. Repizza (N) - A pizza that produces a lot of gas when eaten (also REPEATZA)
  530. Repoot (N) - Ill repute, or bad character
  531. Resiglue (N) - Excess glue that must be removed
  532. Respensibility (N) - The responsibility for causing an excess expense
  533. Resumemail (N) - Sending a resume by email, as many employers require now
  534. Retalitarian (N, A) - The belief in retaliating against everything that you don't like
  535. Rightbrain-Resources Department (N) - A human-resources department that concentrates on how well-written a resume is, instead of whether left-brained people are more suited to a technical job than people who write resumes well (See HUMANIST-RESOURCES DEPARTMENT, RANSUME)
  536. Road Island (N) - When all of the roads leading to where you need to go to are closed
  537. Rotadial (V) - To pretend you have a rotary dial phone, so a VOICE JAIL system will send you to a real person
  538. Rotisserate (V) - To roll slowly while sunbathing
  539. Roundcornercopia (N) - The craze for putting round corners on web page boxes, using unnecessary download bandwidth
  540. Runfer (N) - A trip taken to go get something
  541. Samplitude (N) - The strength of the signal being digitally sampled
  542. Scamotosis (N) - A fake disease that causes people to scam
  543. Scaredo (N) - Hair standing straight up
  544. Scareshow (N) - A TV show designed to scare people with a disaster with a very low probability of occurring, often used for political purposes (See DISASTEROID)
  545. Schooltreacher (N) - A teacher who imposes political beliefs on pupils
  546. Schroedingbug (N) - A computer bug that is not noticed until the source code is read * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, MANDELBUG, EINSTEINBUG, POTM BUG)
  547. Screwb (N) - The device that messes up
  548. Screwd (A) - Past tense of "Shrewd"
  549. Scrolljam (N) - The inability to scroll down a web page quickly, because the moving ad steals all of the CPU time
  550. Scrope (V) - Past tense of "scrape"
  551. Scrote (V) - Past tense of SCRUTE
  552. Scrute (V) - To Scrutinize
  553. Sculptduggery (N) - 1. Fake sculptures
    2. Weight-loss clinic body-sculpting claims
  554. Scumquat (N) - Porn site webmaster
  555. Seh (PN) - A neutral gender singular subject pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHR, SEHS)
  556. Sehm (PN) - A neutral gender singular object pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHMSELF, SEHR, SEHS)
  557. Sehmself (PN) - A neutral gender singular reflexive pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHR, SEHS)
  558. Sehr (A) - A neutral gender singular possessive adjective used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHS)
  559. Sehs (PN) - A neutral gender singular possessive pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHR)
  560. Self-Definition (N) - see SELF-DEFINITION
  561. Self Esteam (N) - The steam-boiler temper of a violent man
  562. Sell Phone (N) - What a telemarketer calls you with *
  563. Senioritis (N) - The high-school fear of being about to go out on your own
  564. Sesquipickup (N) - A pickup truck with dual wheels on the back
  565. Sesquisemi (A) - Three quarters of something (See TRIDEMISEMI)
  566. Sesquisemicircle (N) - Three quarters of a circle (See TRIDEMISEMICIRCLE)
  567. Sesquispeech (N) - A half-hour speech delivered in 45 minutes
  568. Sheng Phooey (PH) - A means of harmonizing an office or home so nobody can find anything
  569. Short Billion (N) - The short scale billion = 1,000,000,000 = 10^9 (as opposed to LONG BILLION = 10^12)
  570. Short Trillion (N) - The short scale trillion = 1,000,000,000,000 = 10^12 (as opposed to LONG BILLION = 10^18)
  571. Shotgun Art (N) - A painting created by hanging cans of paint over a canvas, and then shooting at them
  572. Sinfoul (A) - Extremely sinful, to the point of offending everyone
  573. Skitted (A) - Involuntarily presented with a skit
  574. Skulldrudgery (N) - Having to think really HARD
  575. Skunkee (N) - The recipient of skunk effluent
  576. Skunkoleum (N) - Skunk effluent
  577. Sloke (N) - A slowpoke (the 2nd word I coined)
  578. Slouched Brain (N) - A disease politicians and others get, which causes an inability to think
  579. Slumberia (N) - The state that falling asleep takes you to
  580. Slumburbia (N) - The place that makes you fall asleep
  581. Smashcase (N) - Regular text forced into all-uppercase or all-lowercase by the application program, destroying the original case the user wanted
  582. Smudge Pot (N) - 1. Heater used to prevent citrus fruit from freezing on the tree
    2. Old-style highway road flare
  583. Snacrifice (N) - Giving up your favorite snack to please other people *
  584. Sneak Oil (N) - A scam
  585. Sneakret (N) - A sneaky secret (The 3rd word I coined)
  586. Sneakret Exit (N) - An exit only you know about, so you can sneak out
  587. Sneasoning (V) - Sneezing over the food you are cooking
  588. Snickety (A) - Describing the short-throw manual gearshift on a Mazda Miata *
  589. Snippage (N) - The portion edited out of the sender's email in the reply
  590. Snoozeletter (N) - A boring newsletter
  591. Snow Glob (N) - A snow globe that has lost all of its liquid
  592. Snowberg (N) - A pile of ice or snow left by a snowplow on the sidewalk you are required to keep clear of snow (See CARBERG, MALLBERG)
  593. Snorama (N) - A snoring demonstration
  594. Snowfakes (n) - Eight-pointed paper snowflakes made in grade school, because the teacher can't remember how to make six-pointed ones
  595. Soduk (N) - The award given to the worst of anything (Kudos spelled backwards)
  596. Soundbitten (A) - Converted into a soundbite **
  597. Speediot (N) - 1. A driver who almost always exceeds the speed limit
    2. A legislator who enacts laws that prohibit the defensive driving technique needed to deal with tailgaters
  598. Speel (N) - A cardboard spoon that peels from the side of a single serving carton of ice cream (See SPOOD)
  599. Spider of Damocles (PH) - A spider on the ceiling, which crawls until it is directly over you, and then stops and stays there: You keep watching it nervously, because it might drop on you. Often disrupts meetings.
  600. Spin The Schedule (PH) - A game played by TV network officials, always reshuffling shows so your two favorite shows are on at the same time
  601. Splidnoog (N) - What you call the thing you can't remember the name of, until you remember it * (See FUBBAFLUWATCH)
  602. Spoo! (IJ) - Exclamation made when someone does something deliberately ("oops" spelled backwards) *
  603. Spood (N) - A flat wooden spoon taped to a single serving carton of ice cream * (See SPEEL)
  604. Spoogilistics (N) - The art of doing things on purpose just to irritate someone
  605. Spoot (S) - The sound the cheap little bell on 1930s Underwood typewriters made
  606. Spootledop (N) - A tall pole with a red disc on top, used to tell a golfer where the cup is when the green is hidden behind a hill when viewed from the tee
  607. Spottled (A) - Blinded by flash cameras
  608. Spylore (N) - Stories told and retold by spies
  609. Squiddle (V) - Walk like a squid
  610. Stacled (A) - Hindered by obstacles or government regulation
  611. Stayintheredness (N) - Inertia or friction *
  612. Stoogeproofing (V, N) - Preventing people who act like the Three Stooges from messing things up
  613. Stoogidity (A) - Describing behavior like that of the Three Stooges
  614. Stoogification (N) - An effect of an important meeting that causes people to imitate the Three Stooges
  615. Stoogilistics (N) - The art of getting into fights like the Three Stooges
  616. Stooopid (N) - Extremely stupid
  617. Stuffalanche (N) - The result of everything falling from shelves
  618. Stupid Case (N) - Regular text typed with the CAPS LOCK key accidentally turned on (See LOSERCASE)
  619. Stupident (N) - A student who doesn't go to class
  620. Stupidiot (N) - 1. A stupid idiot
    2. A bad driver who does not think of the safety of others
  621. Stupidphone (N) - A smartphone that causes trouble, including auto accidents
  622. Suckurity (N) - Intrusive overkill security measures (See OSADDAMIZE)
  623. Suicycling (v) - Riding a bicycle in a dangerous, illegal manner (such as going the wrong way on a ONE-WAY street)
  624. Summa Cum Latte (PH) - The strongest coffee possible (See MAGNUM CUM LATTE)
  625. Sustart (N) - Art created for sale the purpose of sustenance
  626. Tackle Pinochle (N) - A card game where people get mad and chase each other around the room * (See CONTACT BRIDGE)
  627. Tackle Poker (N) - A card game where people get mad, chase each other, and accuse each other of cheating, after trying to play poker with a pinochle deck (See TACKLE PINOCHLE)
  628. Takeapartable (A) - The ability to be easily taken apart
  629. Tange (V) - To be tangible (See FEASE)
  630. Tardoff (N) - A lateness contest
  631. Technophobiatric (N) - A person who fears the existence of technology
  632. Technobsolescence (N) - Obsolescence of recording formats caused by new technology, resulting in the unreadability of some treasured data, video recordings, and audio recordings
  633. Ted (N) - The stuffing inside a teddy bear
  634. Teevium (N) - The tedium that most TV programs are made of
  635. Telepathetic (N) - A poor example of an attempt at telepathy
  636. Televisium (N) - What TV transmissions are made of
  637. Tenementia (N) - A government that wants to build tenement slums.
  638. Terabucks (N) - A unit of measure equal to $1,000,000,000,000 used to denote the size of the US national debt or the size of the world money supply: Equal to $1 trillion (US) or $1 Billion (world numbering system, but in US dollars. Tera = metric prefix for 1,000,000,000,000 - See SI standards for a chart on the difference between US numbering and world numbering.)
  639. Textapostachatammunication (V) - The means of communication used by most of today's kids (Zits comic strip)
  640. Textort (V) - To require a long essay paper (as a schoolteacher would)
  641. Thankrupt (A) - Discounting blessings
  642. Thermonuclear Divorce (PH) - Acrimony in matrimony, resulting in alimony
  643. Thinkrupt (A) - Incapable of rational thought
  644. Third-Grade Trump (PH) - A Namecaller
  645. Thirdright (A) - Not quite being forthright
  646. Threeality (N) - The quality of the realism of a three-dimensional display or surround sound system
  647. Threek (N) - 1. A plastic fork that has lost one of the tines
    2. A fork with three tines *
  648. Thumper (N) - A subwoofer (cf Tweeter, Squeaker, Squawker, and Woofer) - the bane of the QUIETESSIMALITE (see QUIETESSIMALITE in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  649. Tiglath Pilsener (N) - A lager beer named after an ancient Assyrian king
  650. Timespeed (N) - 299792458 meters per second in the time dimension (See TRIGONORELATIVITY)
  651. Tobble (V) - To hit a keyboard key that makes all of the characters on the screen act drunk (misprint of "toggle")
  652. Toboric (A) - Robotic and simpleton in nature
  653. Toolnik (N) - A tool coveter, or someone who goes nuts over tools
  654. Trash Stinkers (N) - Stickers required by government to pay for having your trash picked up, so people must pay a kickback to get rid of trash - Causes illegal dumping
  655. Trashay (V, N) - How a strumpet walks
  656. Tridemisemi (A) - Three quarters of (See SESQUISEMI)
  657. Tridemisemicircle (N) - Three quarters of a circle (See SESQUISEMICIRCLE)
  658. Trigonorelativity (N) - An algebraic transformation of Einstein's relativity done by Larry Robinson (author of this page) - This change makes relativity easier to understand, and also makes a few new predictions
  659. Tritiny (N) - The crime of triteness
  660. Trookie (N) - A factory mistake result: a sandwich cookie with three cookie layers and two filling layers
  661. Trucklet (N) - Ford Transit
  662. Tryfail (N) - The failed result of a PRODUCK test
  663. Twitblaster (N) - A twit who makes negative Twitter twits
  664. Typogoofical Error (N) - A keyboarding misteak that finds its way into the finished product
  665. Typosetter (N) - A typesetter who makes typos (See TYPSETTER, TYPOGOOFICAL ERROR)
  666. Typost (N) - A typist who makes TYPOGOOFICAL ERRORS
  667. Typsetter (N) - TYPOSETTER
  668. Ucro (U) - Micro, meaning one millionth of (Abbr: u)
  669. Ugly Truckling (N) - Suzuki Sidekick
  670. Ugpleat (N) - The backside of a pleat, seen only when the garment is inside out
  671. Umbojay (N) - The hooked end of an umbrella handle
  672. Umpdark (N) - Whatever blocks the umpire from seeing the play
  673. Umph (N) - 1. One third of a victory
    2. One third of the power of a British sports car
  674. Un-Brainer (N) - Something so stupid that nobody with an actual brain would do it
  675. Un-ity (N) - Antonym of unity
  676. Unboit (V) - To recover after saying "toy boat" 10 times really fast
  677. Undo Pain - 1. The painful act of being forced to undo good work
    2. Pain caused by Daylight-Stupid Time, or other government activities
  678. Undon't (V) - Do
  679. Unempage (V, pronounced "un-em-PAZH") - To require people to turn off their pagers
  680. Unintendo (N) - Unintended by-product of playing video games
  681. Unputered (A) - Describing a person who either has no computer, or has no computer knowledge
  682. Upperleftswooper (N) - A web page with a curved logo covering the upper left corner - Very trite
  683. Usility (A) - The utility-usefulness index, calculated by taking the average of utility and usefulness
  684. Utensile Strength (N) - The amount of force a plastic fork can take before it breaks into a THREEK
  685. Utopitarian (N) - 1. Wanting the world of John Lennon's song "Imagine"
    2. Wanting a world where nobody has to work
  686. Vecdirt (N) - The direction and distance to the dirt (chief usage is political)
  687. Veni Vidi Vegi (PH) - "I came, I saw, I vegetated." *
  688. Vertifit (V) - To repeatedly try to design a web page to exactly fit the monitor viewport in the vertical direction, a futile pursuit because there is no way to make it work on all computers, browsers, screen resolutions, and window sizes
  689. Viagravated (A) - Upset by all of the spam advertising Viagra
  690. Vigorovated (A) - Upset by all of the spam advertising fake Viagra
  691. Vlig (A) - A Velcro holder for an Ace bandage (See LIG)
  692. Voice Jail (N) - An automated answering system without a choice for the reason of your call, which will not let you talk to a real person *
  693. Warlorn (A) - The emotional feeling of dismay that the country is at war
  694. Wastium (N) - The chemical element that, when added to anything else, turns it into waste
  695. Weakth (N) - A lack of wealth (CF. typo)
  696. Webster (N) - A World Wide Web user
  697. Wigget (N) - A tiny detail added to a spaceship model (for movies) to make it look more real * (See GREEBLE, NURNY)
  698. Windroid (N) - A Windows computer
  699. Woodsmoker (N) - An environmentalist who uses a wood stove (renewable resource), smogging up the neighborhood
  700. Worng (N) - A wrong wrong
  701. Writeproof Paper (N) - Paper with a coating that keeps pens from writing on it (e.g. infrared printer paper)
  702. Yehudi Menuhenpecked (A) - Unable to find the correct menu to change a computer setting in
  703. Yellbin (N) - Where people go when they are angry
  704. Yellybake (V) - To be very vocal about a problem
  705. Yipe-o (N) - A superobvious typo
  706. YOLO (AC) - You only live once *
  707. Yougle (V) - To say, "You! You! It's always about you!"
  708. Yougled (A) - The feeling you get when your spouse says, "You! You! It's always about you!" when it's really about something else
  709. Yubble (V) - Transmitting data, as shown by the blinking light on the modem
  710. Yuggle (V) - Dithering back and forth, such as a wobbling wheel on a shopping cart
  711. Zxnrbl (N, pronounced "ZNER-ble") - A scrambling of a digital transmission or file



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