About life, driving, and computers

Updated 05/07/20

Some of the things that happen in life are so STOOOPID that there are no words to describe them. Or at least there weren't any. Here are a few words to fill in the gap.

  1. Abluton (N) - The unit charge of cleanliness (Antonym: ENTROPON)
  2. Ackpuce (N) - The ugliest color ever created
  3. Adipositron (N) - The unit charge of obesity
  4. Alice Gearing (N) - Mishearing of Aliskiren (a hypertension drug)
  5. Alpoet (N) - Writer of dog-food commercials
  6. American Excuse Card (N) - Any credit card used to spend money beyond one's means (See EGOCARD)
  7. Andage (N) - Multiple repetitions of "Oh! One more thing!" (CF. the "Columbo" TV series.)
  8. Angry Fruit Cocktail (N) - Too much clutter on a web page (Also Angry Fruit Salad *)
  9. Angry Fruit Cocktail With Bugs (N) - Too much clutter on a web page, along with frenzied motion
  10. Angry Swarming Bugs (N) - Too much animation on a web page
  11. Anonymice (N) - Anonymous sources
  12. Arachnoleptic Fit (N) - The frantic dance performed just after walking through a spider web ****
  13. Arsday (N) - Thursday (from the practice of using R for Thursday in college schedules of classes)
  14. Artchitect (N) - An architect who places the beauty he can create above the functionality of the building
  15. Artchitecture (N) - The design of a building that has beauty, but no functionality
  16. ASCIIbetical Order (A) - In the order of the ASCII character set, with all capital letters sorted before all lowercase letters
  17. ASOTV (PH) - As Seen On TV
  18. Aswat (A) - In the direction of the swat
  19. Attidude (N) - The laid-back overconfidence of a novice
  20. Audiovisualoglyphics (N) - Pictorial symbols on the buttons of a remote control for audio-visual equipment (See LAUNDROGLYPHICS, GROWLOGLYPHICS)
  21. Autocomputotastrophe (N) - An automobile crash caused by the failure of the on-board computer
  22. Autolescent (N) - A very bad driver, who is self-centered in nature
  23. Autolopithicus (N) - A driver with prehistoric roots, who believes that there is nothing wrong with drinking and driving, breaking traffic laws, and endangering other motorists (See AUTOLESCENT) (Also see SQUATWELLIAN in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  24. Baccalottery (N) - The gamble you make when you get a fake diploma instead of attending classes
  25. Badzoic Era (N) - The geologic age when everything in the world started to go wrong
  26. Bagpref (N) - Paper or plastic (See PAYPREF)
  27. Bambooze (V) - What alcoholic beverages do to the brain
  28. Barghum (N) - The sticky syrup on everything in a bar, resulting from spilled beer
  29. Bargoon (N) - A bargain that turns out to not be such a bargain
  30. Basebrawl (N) - A game, in which people combine playing baseball with having bench-clearing fights (See BASKETBRAWL, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  31. Basilicates (N) - The minerals they make basilicas out of
  32. Basketbrawl (N) - 1. A game, in which people combine playing basketball with having bench-clearing fights
    2. Indiana Pacers vs Detroit Pistons 11/20/2004 (See BASEBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  33. Bawl Game (N) - How liberals get their way * (See BRAWL GAME)
  34. Beachketball (N) - Basketball played with a beach ball and huge hoops
  35. Bean DP (N) - Using a computer to do bean-counting inventory
  36. Beelzebug (N) - Satan, in the form of a mosquito in your bedroom at 3 am - Cannot be cast out ****
  37. Beeriad (N) - 10000 cans of beer
  38. Biadversarial (A) - Describing sports where two teams play against each other
  39. Bicker Bonnet (N) - The hat that is worn when the person is argumentative
  40. Bidydle (N) - A bicycle used to break traffic laws
  41. Big Band Theory (PH) - The origin of the universe, according to "The Picture Book of Relativity"
  42. Big Bother (N) - Intrusive government
  43. Bilkage (N) - Money taken by a scam
  44. Billionormilliarding (V) - Getting the US numbering system mixed up with the world numbering system (See SI standards for a chart showing the differences between the numbering systems)
  45. Bimb (N) - One of a series of globular light fixtures, each hanging at the bottom of its own loop of festoon wiring, which is strung between ceiling or post attachment points
  46. Bioblat (N, V, IJ) - Passing gas
  47. Bisackual (N) - Will take either paper or plastic sacks
  48. Bituperate (V) - To verbally abuse people for doing either of the only two available alternatives
  49. Blabentaior (N) - A news commentator who does nothing but blab and blab
  50. Blabber Incontinence (N) - "I'm talking, and I can't shut up!"
  51. Blabberhea (N) - The disease that causes non-stop talking
  52. Blabbertyjabbrer (S) - 1. Everyone talking at once
    2. The sound of a phone scrambler
    3. Receiving a single-sideband signal on an amplitude-modulated receiver
  53. Blabbery (N) - 1. The misdemeanor of talking too much
    2. Using drivel to mislead people
  54. Blabiot (N) - An idiot who won't shut up
  55. Blatticide (N) - The act of killing roaches *
  56. Blebium (N) - The chemical that pimples are made of
  57. BLecc6 (IJ - pronounced "bleksix") - The page author's reaction to the overcoverage of Michael Jackson's death (BLecc6 was the Captcha security code when the page author posted a message complaining about the overcoverage.)
  58. Blooium (N) - The substance that makes equipment go blooey
  59. Bluk (N, A) - Pertaining to advertisements received through email (Cf. Bulk)
  60. Blurp (V) - To blur the mouth of someone who says a bad word on TV, as well as muting the sound
  61. Boattom (N) - The underside of a watercraft
  62. Boditi (N) - A tattoo (body graffiti)
  63. BOGO (AC) - Buy one - Get one (free) *
  64. Bohr Bug (N) - A repeatable computer bug * (See EINSTEINBUG, HEISENBUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  65. Boiped To Death (PH) - Inundated with telemarketing phone calls (from the 'boip' sound)
  66. Bomblastic (A) - Describing the noise of a terrorist bomb going off as "violating the noise ordinance"
  67. Boombastic (A) - Describing the sound of a passing BOOMCAR
  68. Boomcar (N) - An automobile with a booming THUMPER *
  69. Bosstastrophe (N) - An automobile accident caused by the boss yelling at the driver (his employee) over a cell phone
  70. Bothsider (N) - A driver who drives in the center lane of a one-way street, trying to get the first parking space found on either side - usually causes an accident trying to get the space
  71. Bozone (N) - A substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating ****
  72. Bragium (N) - A chemical substance that makes people brag
  73. Brain Bucket (N) - Safety helmet *
  74. Brain Remover (N) - An alcoholic beverage that is 100 proof or higher - Science has now shown that excessive drinking causes the brain to shrink and lose function - Could be a cause of SLOUCHED BRAIN
  75. Bratosaurus (N) - Where brats (bratwurst) come from
  76. Brawl Game (N) - A sporting event disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  77. Brimlets (N) - Diabetic testing supplies (ad by Wilford Brimley)
  78. Broker (A) - What you become after you use the services of one
  79. Browseocoveter (N) - A web page designer who wants to keep you from using your browser controls while on his website
  80. Brushery (N) - A truckload of brush that has been cut-down and removed
  81. Brute and Verify (A) - Describing computer menus that drive you nuts making sure you want to do what you did
  82. Bustworthy (A) - Easily broken
  83. CaCaCase (N) - Text with random shifts between uppercase and lowercase - eXamPlE: vERy aNnOYIng
  84. Cacajillion (U) - The total number of things that can possibly go wrong **
  85. Caffiend (N) - A person who can't get through the day without caffeine (See DECAFALON)
  86. Californicate (V) - 1. To behave like HOLLYWODD actors and actresses do in TV shows
    2. To believe that the California government actually knows what it is doing
  87. Californitritus (N) - All of those labels on equipment saying that it contains something "known to the State of California" to be harmful in some obscure way or another - Treat them as the trash they are, because California doesn't really have any proof to back up what it "knows"
  88. Candbid (V) - Accidentally bidding on an item at an auction, by inadvertently making a gesture
  89. Car Challenger (N) - A HINDENCAR
  90. Car Hockey (N) - 1. Figure 8 racing 2. NASCAR racing
  91. Carberg (N) - A chunk of ice or snow attached to the back of a car fender (See MALLBERG, SNOWBERG)
  92. Cannonboxclog (N) - A pool filter clogged with Progressive Insurance boxes
  93. Cansas (N) - A recycle bin full of cans, rattling in the wind
  94. Canucopia (N) - Trash cans of plenty
  95. Cashatrophic (A) - Out of money
  96. Cashtration (N) - The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period ****
  97. Caterpallor (N) - The color you turn after finding half a worm in your apple ****
  98. Celebratty (A) - Describing a well-known musician, actor, or public figure acting like a spoiled brat
  99. Celebraty (N) - A well-known musician, actor, or public figure who acts like a spoiled brat
  100. Cellophase (N) - To phase into and out of paying attention to your driving, because you are on a cell phone
  101. Cellublab (N) - One side of a cell phone conversation heard by others in the room (See CELLVERSATION)
  102. Cellulite Phone (N) - A portable phone, because you don't have to run to answer it, you gain weight
  103. Cellupacifier (N) - A sledgehammer used to permanently silence cellular phones
  104. Cellusnapture (N) - Catching someone in a ridiculous pose with a cell phone camera
  105. Celluyodel (S) - A ringing cellular phone driving people nuts
  106. Cellversation (N) - A person, distracting others by apparently talking to himself, who is actually on a cellular phone (See CELLUBLAB)
  107. Cesspoo (N) - The detritus that is found in a cesspool
  108. Cheaticap (N) - 1. A handicap that allows a player to cheat
    2. Parking in a handicap parking space when you are not handicapped
  109. Choon (N) - 1. The shape of one section of a hanging insulator used to support megavolt power lines from poles
    2. Anything else the same shape (a small bell)
  110. Chopera (N) - An opera interrupted by a power failure
  111. Chortleography (N) - The art of composing dance steps or laws that are funny
  112. Cigabutt (N) - The most often distributed litter, a cigarette butt
  113. Cigliar (N) - Someone who says he quit smoking, but didn't
  114. Cisco Kid, The (N) - The icon for "Network drive not available" (looks like a man in a cowboy hat on a low-resolution monitor)
  115. Clairbrainiant (A) - ODDIOTIC
  116. Cliptomaniac (N) - A kleptomaniac who steals only paper clips (4th word I coined)
  117. Clockmare (N) - 1. How DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME messes up things
    2. Being the janitor of a building with 157 public clocks on the day the time changes for DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME
  118. Clocktonite (N) - The mysterious substance inside an office clock that slows down civil service workers after 2 pm
  119. Clue-by-four (N) - The act of adding whack to something that is out of whack
  120. Coblabberate (V) - To cooperate through total blabber
  121. Coffee oneself into the restroom (V PH) - Drink so much coffee that you need the restroom
  122. Cogblat (S) - The clash of gears caused by a driver trying to learn to drive a stick shift
  123. Coinologium (N) - Any word coined from the name of some obscure, long-forgotten event or place
  124. Commit Truth (V) - To tell the truth, even though it is not within the guidelines of POLITICAL CORRECTION **
  125. Complosion (N) - An explosion intended to compress matter, Erroneously called "implosion"
  126. Conphylactic (N) - A leaky condom
  127. Contact Bridge (N) - A card game where people get mad and chase each other around the room (See TACKLE PINOCHLE)
  128. Copyrat (N) - A copyright holder who will not place a discontinued product in the public domain, keeping those who need it from getting it
  129. Cordurog (N) - A single repetition of the ridges in corduroy material (See CORRUG)
  130. Corrodium (N) - What dead batteries are made of (See PRE-CORRODIUM)
  131. Corrodium Warning (N) - "Do not lose this radio in closet while installing dead batteries."
  132. Corrug (N) - A single repetition of the folds in the center of corrugated cardboard (See CORDUROG)
  133. Crastinator (N) - A person adept at delaying, who has not yet turned professional
  134. Credirt (N) - A very poor credit rating
  135. Danger Constancy, Laws of (PH) - 1. The amount of danger in the world at any time is a constant.
    2. Danger is conserved. Danger can be neither created nor destroyed.
  136. Dangtoe (N) - The toe you keep stubbing
  137. Debtpasser (N) - A person who uses the word DEBTPASSES when saying the Lord's Prayer
  138. Debtpasses (N) - The word spoken by someone saying the Lord's Prayer who starts to say "debts" when the rest of the congregation says "trespasses" - The resulting word spoken is "debtpasses."
  139. Decafalon (N) - Getting through the day without caffeine **** (See CAFFIEND)
  140. Deeple (N) - The line on an appliance that tells how full you can fill it - Also Maxfill
  141. Deficiency Apartment (N) - 1. An apartment with two rooms, one of them being a bathroom
    2. Any apartment that has decayed because it has been under rent control for years
  142. Deja-Moo (PH) - "I've heard this bull before."
  143. Delay-Off (N) - When both sides counter each other with continuances
  144. Dellinkquent (N) - The guy on the Staples commercial who freaks out over a lack of Dell ink
  145. Depodiated (A) - A speaker who, when told to come up to the podium, finds there isn't one to stand on, but just a lectern
  146. Deprecator (N) - An elitist who won't leave existing computer languages alone, but has to change them
  147. Despotician (N) - A politician who is a despot
  148. Despotition (N) - A deposition made with criminal intent
  149. Dimelich Maneuver (N) - The process by which a waiter squeezes the tip from the customer's pocket
  150. Dimpled Chad (N) - A defect in a computer punch card that is caused by a dirty card reader
  151. Disasteroid (N) - A large rock hurtling to destroy the earth in a disaster movie or a History Channel SCARESHOW
  152. Discongenuous (A) - When a company discontinues needed products, or says "Your call is important to us" for two hours of keeping you on hold
  153. Dishwashable (A) - Able to be washed in a dishwasher without being damaged
  154. Dislaboration (N) - The state of politicians or labor unions working against each other
  155. Dodge Mahal (N) - A gold-plated diamond-studded 1969 Dodge Charger
  156. Dongle (N) - A device attached to a computer that proves to the software that the user has purchased the software, and thus has a right to use it and violates the law once the copyright expires *
  157. Dopeler Effect (N) - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly ****
  158. Dotcompoop (N) - Person who can't surf the Internet
  159. Double Drick (N) - A large-area power failure, such as the one on 11/9/1965 (See DRICK)
  160. Double Entawdry (N) - A phrase that has two meanings, with one of them being sexually suggestive
  161. Double-Hued Cellphonium (N) - A cell phone that glows with two colors at night (cf Double-belled euphonium)
  162. Downbardment (N) - Microsoft Update disrupting your work
  163. Dratify (V) - To affirm mistakes as part of the plan
  164. Dratoff (N) - A mistake contest
  165. Drayne (N) - Any person, government program, or process that destroys wealth
  166. Dreamlinercar (N) - Electric car on fire
  167. Drick (S, N) - A power failure (From the TV series "Green Acres")
  168. Dricken (N) - Plural of DRICK - multiple power failures
  169. Dricker (N) - The cause of a power failure (See DRICK)
  170. Droit (N) - A French robot that takes away your rights and money, giving them to undeserving artists
  171. Droneswatter (N) - A very large flyswatter used to swat down drones
  172. Drownpour (N) - Rain heavy enough to drown small animals
  173. DST Bug (N) - The computer and equipment errors that occur because the legislated beginning and ending dates for DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME changed in 2007 so existing software and equipment changed on the wrong date (see DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  174. Ducksnort (N) - A baseball hit just beyond the infield *
  175. Dupid (A) - Stupid enough to be duped
  176. Dupidity (N) - Stupid enough to be duped
  177. DVDemolish (V) - What you have to do to the packaging to get to the actual DVD disc, due to the anti-theft packaging
  178. Dwoodle (V) - How an elongated ellipsoid rolls erratically (e.g. rugby ball)
  179. Dyslexia Amplifier (N) - A web page that constantly changes. repeatedly erasing the mental text buffer of a dyslexic person, so he can't read the page contents
  180. Dystypic (A) - Typing the letters of words in the WORNG order
  181. Eboink (S) - The sound a computer makes when an email arrives
  182. Eboppity (IJ) - The internet strikes back
  183. Edirtorialize (V) - To add bias or innuendo to an article
  184. Egocard (N) - A credit card with no limit (See AMERICAN EXCUSE CARD)
  185. Einsteinbug (N) - A computer bug that requires a major change in the way the software works to fix it (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  186. Ellwait (N) - The time someone loses or wastes by using mass transit
  187. Enemess (N) - 1. The messiness of a sloppy enema
    2. The mess created by an enemies list (equivalent to #1)
  188. Entropon (N) - The unit charge of messiness (Antonym: ABLUTON)
  189. Evain (A) - vanity in email
  190. Evianated (V) - The feeling you get as you buy your bottled water, and suddenly realize that "Evian" is "naive" spelled backwards
  191. Exaster (N) - 1. A former disaster
    2. An ex-wife
  192. Excedrache (N) - A headache caused by trying to open the Excedrin bottle
  193. Execublabber (N) - Drivel produced by a government or corporate executive (See LEGISBLABBER)
  194. Exfiltrate (V) - To steal computer files
  195. Exit Tramp (N) - A beggar who stands at the local street end of an exit ramp with a sign, asking for money
  196. Exoid (N) - The monster who used to be your spouse
  197. Expert (N) - Unknown drip under pressure (cf. x = unknown + spurt = drip under pressure) *
  198. Eye Swatter (N) - A cold drink
  199. Facebook Fog (N) - The sudden realization that you have no idea what was going on in class while you were on Facebook
  200. Failacy (N) - Propensity to fail
  201. Fairgle (V) - To yell "It's not fair" when you lose - the chief activity of many liberals
  202. Fakade (N) - A fake facade
  203. Fallic (A) - Full of fallacy
  204. Fanatasy (N) - Fanatic fantasy
  205. Faqirial (A) - A day short and a dollar late
  206. Faqiry (N, pronounced "fakery") - One of the fake fairies that liberals postulate to exist to provide the missing wealth needed to make the LIVING WAGE and other impossible plans FEASE
  207. Fauxtography (N) - Making PHAKE photos
  208. Faxic Waste (N) - When ads come through the fax, wasting your supplies
  209. Fease (V) - To be feasible * (See TANGE)
  210. Feasily (AV) - doably
  211. Feasy (A) - Easily feasible
  212. Feeloader (N) - 1. A government agency that makes money from excessive fees
    2. Police departments and courts that can increase their budgets by increasing the number of tickets and fines
    3. Police, fire, and ambulance departments who charge the victims they help for the emergency services they get
    4. A state highway department paid for by tolls
  213. Feuditi (N) - Graffiti arising from a feud
  214. Fidgetbuster (N) - 1. A U.S. Senate debate that keeps legislators alert and concentrating
    2. A toy given to a child to keep him quiet at church
  215. Filtray (V) - Portray in a way that gets through filter software
  216. Fistevities (N) - Celebrations where fistfights break out
  217. Flewpart (N) - A FLYPART that can not be found after a PARTFLY occurs (See GRUMMIES)
  218. Flig (S) - A sound heard in a game show or a video game.
  219. Flyable Part (N) - FLYPART that has not yet flown (See FLYPART)
  220. Flypart (N) - A part in a machine that is spring-loaded, so it flies out of place as soon as the retaining parts are removed (See FLYABLE PART, PARTFLY, FLEWPART, GRUMMIES)
  221. Flyswatter Interchange (N) - A traffic interchange so poorly designed that it looks like they just put a bunch of interchange parts over a clay model of the area, and then took a flyswatter and went SPLAT! An example of a flyswatter interchange can be found in New London, Connecticut, at the intersection of I-95, US-1, and Connecticut 32. Flyswatter interchanges often lack ramps for some movements.
  222. Fogmare (N) - 1. A nightmarishly thick fog
    2. A huge multiple vehicle traffic accident caused by fog
  223. FOMO (AC) - Fear of missing out *
  224. Fooperize (V) - Send the drive-thru carrier through the tube to the teller (CF. the sound often made)
  225. Footbrawl (N) - A football game disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, RACEBRAWL)
  226. Foreploy (N) - Any misrepresentation made for the purpose of getting laid ****
  227. Fortpolio (N) - A set of investments that paralyze your funds
  228. Frankencorn (N) - Genetically engineered grain *
  229. Frankenlight (N) - A light fixture that suddenly changes brightness at long random intervals
  230. Frankenstink (N) - The awful smell in any chemistry laboratory
  231. Frankenstorm (N) - The merging of a hurricane and a winter storm, as happened with Hurricane Sandy
  232. Frap Rays (N) - 1. Science fiction rays found in 1950s comic books
    2. Science fiction rays found in Calvin and Hobbes "Spaceman Spiff" episodes
    3. Why people crave frappes
  233. Fratily (AV) - In the manner of a college fraternity
  234. Fraudtopsy (N) - Fake alien autopsy *
  235. Fromare (N) - A nightmare about cheese
  236. Frustralia (N) - A country with a government that frustrates everyone
  237. Fubbafluwatch (N) - The thing you can't think of the name of when you need it * (See SPLIDNOOG)
  238. Funderful (A) - Wonderfully fun
  239. Garbageabetical Order (N) - The result of sorting a database on a field that has not yet been filled in, so the computer sorts the database using the disk trash from previous files that it finds there
  240. Garbaggage (N) - The extra junk added to windows Vista and up to make it work with a cell phone
  241. Gasp Mileage (N) - The shock of your low miles per dollar
  242. Geigers (U) - What a Geiger counter counts
  243. Ghost Handicapped (PH) - Being a non-handicapped person sharing a car with a handicapped person and parking in a handicap space so the handicapped person can use it next
  244. Gigaperson (N) - A unit of measure equal to 1,000,000,000 people used to describe the world population - The world population is approximately 6 gigapersons in 2005 AD. That is 6 billion people (US numbering) or 6 milliard people (world numbering - See SI standards for a chart on the difference between US numbering and world numbering)
  245. Gigglepathic (N) - The portion of the testimony that causes the audience to giggle
  246. Gigli (A) - Very bad: Used to describe the film by the same name. Also describes the economy-destroying platforms of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and John Kerry.
  247. Giraffiti (N) - Vandalism spray-painted very, very high ****
  248. Glibido (N) - All talk and no action ****
  249. Glitchital (A) - The propensity of digital equipment to be glitched (disturbed by transients)
  250. Glurk (S) - Someone suddenly sitting on a couch or bed, causing someone else sitting there who was drinking to spill the drink
  251. Gnarble (V) - To accidentally encrypt data with garbage for the encryption key
  252. Go-Faster Windows (N) - Slanted windows on buses that make them look ten times faster than they are
  253. Government Waist (N) - Obesity resulting from government-induced stress
  254. Grammardemalian (N) - Teacher with bad grammar
  255. Grateless (N) - The opposite of grateful **
  256. Gravitime (N) - The new theory by Larry Robinson that time causes gravity
  257. Greeble (N) - A detail added to a surface (as on a movie miniature) to make it look more real * (See NURNY, WIGGET)
  258. Gross Ignoramus (A) - 144 times ordinary ignoramus, describing most government meetings, and anyone in favor of DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME * (see DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  259. Growloglyphics (N) - Pictorial how-to instructions on packaging containing plants, bulbs, or seeds (See LAUNDROGLYPHICS, AUDIOVISUALOGLYPHICS)
  260. Grummies (N) - Little parts that get lost easily
  261. Grumptious (N) - Extremely grumpy
  262. Gubble-gubble (S) - An instance of forgetting what you were going to say
  263. Gyrese (N) - Whirling Dervish language
  264. Haberdashanoid (N) - Someone more worried about how his clothes look than about what's going on
  265. Hackmow (N) - The lawn care guy I didn't hire
  266. Haftas (N) - Things that have to be done
  267. Hairanoid (N) - Someone more worried about how his hair looks than about what's going on
  268. Hairdon't (N) - What not to do to your hair (Antonym: Hairdo)
  269. Handmonster (N) - That scary-looking crescent with hands on the "Safe Place" signs
  270. Handsphreak (N) - A person who believes that it is safe to use a hands-free phone while driving
  271. Handsphwreck (N) - A HANDSPHREAK who got into a wreck due to being distracted while talking on a cell phone
  272. Hangtail (N) - That pesky odd-sized page in a newspaper advertising insert
  273. Happenable (A) - Possible to do **
  274. Happeneur (N) - A person who makes things happen **
  275. Harmio (N) - An evil robot droid
  276. Hatist (N) - A reporter who propagates his hate
  277. Headweak (A) - The opposite of headstrong *
  278. Heedless Horseman (N) - A driver who does not think before doing - Probably has a case of SLOUCHED BRAIN *
  279. Heisenbug (N) - A computer bug that disappears during attempts to locate it * (See BOHR BUG, EINSTEINBUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  280. Hermoan (N) - Female hormone
  281. Hindencar (N) - A hydrogen-powered car, after it exploded (See CAR CHALLENGER, KAHUKUCAR)
  282. Hintron (N) - One single entry in the help menu of software
  283. Hipatitis (N) - Terminal coolness ****
  284. Hollerithabetical Order (A) - In the order of the Hollerith punch card code character set, as sorted on a card sorter, with all capital letters sorted before all lowercase letters, and numbers mixed into the letters
  285. Hollywodd (N) - Any place where all morality is abandoned - Hollywood at its oddest (See CALIFORNICATE)
  286. Hoolywodd (N) - Any place where all morality is abandoned - Hollywood at its oddest (See CALIFORNICATE)
  287. Humanist-Resources Department (N) - A hiring department that unconstitutionally requires all new employees to be POLITICALLY CORRECT
  288. HUNG (AC A) - Hung until no good *
  289. Hunt-and-Park System (N) - A system for government employee parking where the number of PARKING STINKERS issued is greater than the number of parking spaces available
  290. Hurry-Wart (N) - A driver in too much of a hurry to be safe
  291. Hydrogen Power (N) - A scam masquerading as an energy source
  292. Hypnosoft (N) The circling "please wait" swirl on the Windows 7 opening screen that hypnotizes people into buying more Microsoft products
  293. Idiodyssey (N) - A fool's errand, including most of what government makes people do
  294. Idiotorialist (N) - A reporter who propagates his beliefs, rather than the truth
  295. Ignoranus (N) - 1. A person who is both stupid and an ass ****
    2. A person who is stupid at both ends
  296. Ignority (N) - An ignored minority
  297. Imperforations (N) - Imperfect perforations in bills, stubs, or stamps
  298. Indestructium (N) - The plastic the unopenable clear sales packaging for flash drives is made of
  299. Infilthrator (N) - A person who thinks there is nothing wrong with pornography, and spreads it everywhere he can - an originator of unwanted pornographic email
  300. Infoolence (N) - Bad advice from someone with power
  301. Inoculatte (N) - To take coffee intravenously when you are running late ****
  302. Insatrument (N) - An instrument that lies, malfunctions, or can't be calibrated
  303. Insultant (N) - The consultant a company sends to help and insult you
  304. Intaxication (N) - Euphoria from a tax refund, which lasts only until you realize that it was your money to start with ****
  305. Interget (N) - The Internet, when used for buying or winning prizes
  306. Java Man (N) - Someone with prehistoric roots, who can't function without coffee
  307. John the Worst (N) - The Prince John in the Robin Hood story
  308. Kahukucar (N) - Hybrid car on fire (cf. Kahuku Hawaii 2012 wind farm storage battery building fire)
  309. Karmacide (N) - When one person's karma runs over another person's dogma
  310. Keyboardophile (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a keyboard command over a mouse command
  311. Knarfle (V) - To mess up a computer file
  312. Lampson (U) - The unit (abbr. Ls) of speed of human speech (Normal speech is 200 millilampsons) *
  313. Landscupper (V) - To remove all of the traffic signs restricting turns into or out of a place of business in the process of "landscaping"
  314. Laudiot (V) - A person, usually a politician, who wrongfully expects to be honored
  315. Laundroglyphics (N) - Pictorial how-to instructions on garment tags for doing laundry (See AUDIOVISUALOGLYPHICS, GROWLOGLYPHICS)
  316. Lawdiot (V) - A person, usually a politician, who misunderstands the law
  317. Lawyer (V) - To sic a lawyer on someone
  318. Lawyer Up (V) - To get a lawyer, ending police questioning *
  319. Lawyurp (N) - A lawyer who makes people sick
  320. Leap Year (N) - Nature's revenge on politicians for imposing DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME
  321. Left-overs (N) - The paltry amount we get to keep when the Left takes over the government
  322. Leftunders (N) - Bits of food that fall under the table for the cat to eat (Kit n' Carlisle comic strip)
  323. Legisblabber (N) - Drivel produced by a government legislature (See EXECUBLABBER)
  324. Lemonicious (N) - Faulty (especially used cars)
  325. Lenojustice (N) - Guilty!
  326. Lenolack (N) - Brains not included
  327. Licentious License (N) - A nasty or offensive personalized license plate
  328. Lickproof Stamp (N) - A peel-and-stick postage stamp
  329. Liewitness (N) - A perjurer
  330. Lig (A) - A metal holder for an Ace bandage *
  331. Liminary (A) - Introductory * (See POSTLIMINARY)
  332. Liquese (N) - Drunken speech
  333. Listdexic (A) - Unable to follow a line of text in a wide list
  334. Listenowboss (N) - A boss who creates a traffic hazard by demanding that his employees must always be reachable by cell phone, even when they are driving (This should be a crime)
  335. Looney Eclipse (N) - When people go mad during an eclipse
  336. Lootery (N) - 1. What most people perceive a state lottery to be: A source of loot
    2. The government revenue from a state lottery
  337. Losercase (N) - Regular text typed with the CAPS LOCK key accidentally turned on (See STUPID CASE)
  338. Losiana (N) - Where lost stuff goes
  339. Loyer (N) - A lawyer who loiters in hospitals
  340. Magnum Cum Latte (PH) - Strong coffee (See SUMMA CUM LATTE)
  341. Mallberg (N) - The huge piles of snow seen in shopping malls for weeks after the rest of the snow in the area is gone (See CARBERG, SNOWBERG)
  342. Malquacktice (N, V, A) - Medical malpractice
  343. Mandelbug (N) - A computer bug with an obscure complex cause * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, EINSTEINBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
  344. Manextortment (N) - Management that uses extreme pressure to squeeze every last bit of extra performance from employees - Causes obesity
  345. Meanace (N) - A menace who is also mean
  346. Megabucksic (A) - Extremely expensive
  347. Memobe (N) - One of the little things that carry memos on computer networks
  348. Meringue Noisette (N) - The fake squish sound used when a pie is thrown
  349. Messterpiece (N) - 1. Antonym of masterpiece
    2. The result of liberals trying to fix the economy
    3. The result of a giant food fight.
    4. The result of a ruined recording studio session
  350. Metrefutation (N) - Demonstration that English units work better in the real world
  351. Misteak (N) - A mistake within a mistake, or a recursive misteak (5th word I coined)
  352. Mnemory (N) - Memory based on mnemonics
  353. Mobnopoly (N) - A monopoly created through the use of intellectual property
  354. Moehair (N) - A tuft of hair ripped from any of the Three Stooges
  355. Moostrated (A) - Not enough room to get past a moose in the road
  356. Mousageddon (N) - World War III caused by one wrong mouse click
  357. Mouse Manure (N) - The results produced by bad science
  358. Mouse Potato (N) - Internet addict *
  359. Moused Up (V) - Having just made a mistake with a computer mouse
  360. Mousecar (N) - A Kia Soul (from the ad where mice are driving toasters and the Kia Soul)
  361. Mousemilk (V, N) - Make a big issue out of something inconsequential *
  362. Mouseteadious (A) - Very steady handling of the mouse
  363. Mousetidious (A) - Very careful mouse use
  364. Mousetied (A) - The state of having to stay within a certain distance of the computer or DAW to work the mouse
  365. Mousetrap (N) - A web page that works with a touch screen, but not with a mouse.
  366. Mousfunction (N) - A mouse misfunction
  367. Mousion (N) - The use of a computer mouse
  368. Mouso (N) - Mousographical error *
  369. Mousophile (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a mouse command over a keyboard command
  370. Mousophobe (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a keyboard command over a mouse command
  371. Moustered (N) - Flustered by a malfunctioning mouse
  372. Moustake (N) - A mistaken mouse click
  373. Mousteadious (A) - Steadiness in use of a mouse
  374. Moustidious (A) - Neatness in use of a mouse
  375. Moustified (A) - Can't use a computer mouse
  376. Moustrained (A) - Not enough room to use a computer mouse
  377. Moustrated (A) - Not enough room to use a computer mouse
  378. Muda (N - pronounced "myooda") - The strange-shaped white lamp globes covering ceiling light fixtures found in government buildings, made in the 1930s and 1940s (They look like the ends of trumpet mutes)
  379. Multiflusher (N) - Someone using a new 1.6 gallon/flush toilet, needing 3 flushes to clear the waste
  380. Muppered (A) - Slapped with a stupid lawsuit to stop MUPPY THREE trading
  381. Muppy Three (N) - MP-3
  382. Muriad (N) - 10,000 mice
  383. MySpite (N) - A MySpace account used to spite other people
  384. Naggravating (A) - Naggingly aggravating (e.g. Political Correctness)
  385. Nap Up (V) - The act of a nap sneaking up on someone ("It just napped up on me.")
  386. Nar (N) - The whole picture (instead of two seminars)
  387. Nasticulous (A) - Ridiculously nasty
  388. Nastorious (A) - Notoriously nasty
  389. Nastycar (N) - An auto race that is won by causing opponents to crash (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
  390. Naughty-Bits-Deleted-For-Tat (PH) - Overcensorship (by security software) of perfectly harmless phrases containing words that also have obscene definitions
  391. Navigrabber (N) - A web advertisement that expands to cover the navigation buttons on a web page, so you can't leave until the ad finishes playing
  392. Neat Czar (N) - A public official who requires all properties to be clean, neat, and tidy
  393. Necessary Security (PH) - Term reserved for a kit consisting of a blanket and a pacifier
  394. Nerble (N) - A pause in an online video because the data stream can't keep up with the playback
  395. Newlywife (N) - What a husband proudly calls his new wife
  396. Nignull (N) - The removal of night prophesied in Revelation
  397. Nividue (N) - Snow on the ground
  398. Nogbutt (N) - A New-Year's Eve drunk making a donkey's rear end of himself
  399. Norton (V) - To fuss around while getting ready to write
  400. Noyed (N) - A paranoid annoyed by a noise
  401. Nurge (V) - To repeatedly move a car closer to the intersection, as if that could make the light turn green faster - Actually, it can do the opposite, if the car moves off of the detector (leaving it empty) *
  402. Nurny (N) - A part from a plastic model kit that is used for some other purpose * (also Nurnie. See GREEBLE, WIGGET)
  403. Nutwork (N) - A TV network that cancels all of the good shows
  404. Obesistress (N) - Undue stress that causes obesity
  405. Obnoxage (N) - The amount of OBNOXITY in a system
  406. Obnoxity (N) - A high degree of obnoxiousness
  407. Obsoloot (N) - Money dishonestly earned by companies who force people to buy the new product by no longer supporting the old product - Microsoft and Intel are prime examples
  408. Oddiotic (A) - Believing in odd idiotic things
  409. Offertunity (N) - The time in the church service when they take the offering
  410. Oldance (N) - An old nuance
  411. Omegalomaniac (N) - A person who is afraid of the end of the world
  412. Oniondated (A) - Overcome by onion flatus
  413. Orkadork (N) - The woman on the ad, who says, "Orca! Orca! Oh! I Love Orca!"
  414. Osaddamize (V) - 1. What terrorists do to people
    2. Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Barack Obama oppressing people
    3. Government imposing insensitive overkill security to prevent terrorism
  415. Osaddamized (A) - 1. Describing a victim of terrorism
    2. Describing victims of Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Barack Obama oppressing people
    3. Describing the victims of insensitive overkill security to prevent terrorism
  416. Ostensopornosis (N) - A degenerate disease, with symptoms of extreme cravings for pornography ****
  417. Outmoot (V) - To make the mootest point in the debate
  418. Palindnilap (N) - The word "palindrome" rewritten as a palindrome (or a PALINDNILAP)
  419. Paralyze Parking (N) - 1. Parking arranged where cars are parked parallel to the traffic lanes - Every time someone wants to enter or leave a parking space, he has to block a lane, paralyzing traffic behind that space
    2. The medical results of careless maneuvering while parking
  420. Parapathetic (A) - Not knowing where one is going
  421. Parking Stinkers (N) - Stickers issued for government parking, so employees must pay a kickback to be able to go to work
  422. Parodig (N) - A parody that makes a sarcastic dig at something or someone
  423. Partfly (N) - One instance of what happens when you release the retaining parts holding a FLYPART
  424. Passturn (N) - The impatient driver who passes your car, then slows down and blocks you while waiting to turn left into his driveway
  425. Pay-Per-Bag Trash Stinkers (N) - Stickers required to be paid for and put on trash bags by the government-owned-monopoly municipal trash collection system
  426. Paypref (N) - Paper or plastic (See BAGPREF)
  427. Pedapulate (N) - To manipulate something with a foot
  428. Pedasstrian (N) - A person who crosses the street against the light
  429. Pedesstalrian (N) - The pedestrians the government puts on a pedestal when writing traffic laws
  430. Pedesturnated (A) - Describing a driver who starts to turn left through a gap in high-speed traffic, and is blocked in the way of the high speed traffic by a pedestrian who starts to cross right in front of him
  431. Pencilvania (N) - Where all the writing instruments disappear to, when you need to write
  432. Penlout (N) - The store cashier who takes your pen after you write a check, thinking it belongs to the store
  433. Pentupium (N) - A souped-up Pentium computer
  434. Percussive Maintenance (N) - Adding more whack to anything that is out of whack *
  435. Perspicapacious (A) - Having plenty of perspicacity
  436. Pervertity (N) - The capacity to CALIFORNICATE *
  437. Pessimum (A) - Antonym of optimum *
  438. Pestrian (N) - A pedestrian who believes that pedestrians always have the right of way, and who exercises this belief, even at his own peril, or even when it breaks the law
  439. Pext (N) - A pest who texts
  440. Phake (A) - Describing something fake, used to PHOOL people into doing something PHOOLISH
  441. Phishing (N) - Stealing a company's ID, then using it to steal the IDs of others * (See PHAKE, PHOOL, PHOOLISH)
  442. Phobiac (N) - Someone afraid of everything
  443. Phone-pong (N) - 1. A game where two people alternately leave messages asking for callbacks on each other's answering machines
    2. A game where a person repeatedly changes long-distance carriers to get all of the freebies
  444. Phoney (A) - Always on a cell phone
  445. Phoography (N) - PHAKE Photography (See FAUXTOGRAPHY, PHAKE)
  446. Phool (V) - To trick someone into doing something PHOOLISH with PHAKE information
  447. Phoolish (A) - Describing doing something that compromises security or an identity after reading PHAKE information
  448. Photoblast (N) - The disconcerting expansion of a picture as the mouse pointer passes over it
  449. Photohoarder (N) - The website developer who wants you to be able to see his photos, but not save copies of them
  450. Phraud (N) - The criminal act of PHOOLING people by PHISHING with PHAKE spoofed spam emails
  451. Pickanoid (N) - A person who gets paranoid over the tiniest annoyances
  452. Pickanweedia (N) - The faulty parts of Wikipedia
  453. Pickupable (A) - Able to be picked up by hand
  454. Pickybody (N) - 1. A person who gets very upset at the tiniest annoyances
    2. A person who demands that government shield him from the tiniest annoyances
  455. Pindler (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PNDLR (See PRIND..., PRINO...)
  456. Pixel Dust (N) - Individual pixels showing the wrong color due to digital photo format conversion (example: .bmp image converted to .jpg image)
  457. Plausar (N) - A massive object that emits pulses that make impossible things look plausible
  458. Plause (V) - To be plausible
  459. Plutonic Relationship (PH) - A relationship between two people that often volcanically erupts
  460. Pocket Dial (V) - To accidentally dial a cell phone while sitting on it in your pocket *
  461. Political Correction (PH) - A religious belief that was hijacked from the Baha'i Faith and made political
  462. Polyunfaturated (A) - Describing fat that is polyunsaturated
  463. Pooforations (N) - Perforations that go poof (disappear) when you try to tear along them
  464. Pook (S) - Microsoft Update interrupting your work (cf the sound effect Windows plays for the update icon)
  465. Poppaea Sabina (N) - The biological specie of an alleged race of space aliens, according to one pseudoscientist *
  466. Porndupe (N) - A victim of the black-eye prank (a cylinder supposedly containing "naughty" pictures)
  467. Postliminary (A) - Describing the main event (See LIMINARY)
  468. Postphone (V) - To send notice by telephone that a meeting is rescheduled to a later date (The first word I coined, at age 8)
  469. POTM bug (AC N) - Phase-Of-The-Moon Bug, a computer bug that occurs under strange conditions: The original POTM bug occurred on an early computer, where someone got the idea of adding the phase of the moon to the system clock output. The line was one character too long on Wednesdays in September when the phase was past the first or third quarter, causing the time buffer to overflow into the next byte, allocated for a different use. * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, EINSTEINBUG, MANDELBUG)
  470. Prairie-Dogging (V) - Popping up over the cubicle walls whenever something happens in the office *
  471. Pre-Corrodium (N) - What batteries are made of (See CORRODIUM)
  472. Pre-Empty (N) - A vacuum cleaner "refill" bag (pre-emptied? See RE-EMPTY)
  473. Pre-Numbskull Agreement (N) - An agreement designed to keep someone stupid enough to marry a golddigger from losing his shirt *
  474. Predator Creditor (N) - A creditor who makes a loan, expecting to make money by foreclosing on it
  475. Prephone (V) - To move the time of a meeting or event earlier by using a telephone *
  476. Prepone (V) - To move the time of a meeting or event earlier *
  477. Presenteeism (N) - Going to work when you are sick (Actual economics term) *
  478. Princess Runningmouth (N) - Elizabeth Warren *)
  479. Prindel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  480. Prindetuwun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND21 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  481. Prindewun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND1 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  482. Prindgur (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDGr (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  483. Prindhur (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDHr (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  484. Prindsel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDSL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  485. Prindud (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND⇑⇓ (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  486. Prinodel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNODL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  487. Prinodsel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNODSL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  488. Prinodetuwun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNOD21 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  489. Prinodewun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNOD1 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
  490. Pro-Bonehead (A) - Describing a person who gets a lousy lawyer for free (pro-bono), rather than hiring a good one
  491. Probgram (N) - A program with a problem with its operation
  492. Produck (N) - A fake product
  493. Prodyuct (N) - A badly made product
  494. Purdon't (IJ) - What Indiana University fans shout when the team is playing against Purdue
  495. Purloot (N) - Purloined loot, as opposed to ordinary loot
  496. Quabble (N) - A squabble about quibbling
  497. Quadnary (N) - The quandary of whether to convert to surround sound
  498. Quadnery (N) - The question: Is it surround sound or not?
  499. Quety (N) - A questionable etymology (Example: They call a head statue a "bust" because the rest of it got busted off)
  500. Queueue (N) - A very long queue
  501. Racebrawl (N) - An auto race disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, NASTYCAR)
  502. Racestration (N) - Frustration with racial tension
  503. Racket Science (N) - 1. The bad science used to create government regulations
    2. The science used by con men
  504. Ramboast (N) - An overconfident swagger
  505. Ramskunktious (A) - Describing the behavior of a skunk (or a politician)
  506. Ransume (N - Pronounced "Ran-zoo-may") - The requirement of a well-written resume, demanded by a right-brained human resources manager: It keeps the left-brained people who are more suited to a technical job from being hired. (See HUMANIST-RESOURCES DEPARTMENT, RIGHTBRAIN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT)
  507. Re-Empty (N) - A vacuum cleaner "refill" bag (pre-emptied? See PRE-EMPTY)
  508. Recomfortable (A) - To be comfortable again after becoming uncomfortable
  509. Recumbering (V) - Riding a recumbent bicycle *
  510. Religiophobia (N) - The fear or hatred of religious beliefs
  511. Religiophobic (A) - Of the fear or hatred of religious beliefs
  512. Repeatza (N) - A pizza that produces a lot of gas when eaten (also REPIZZA)
  513. Repizza (N) - A pizza that produces a lot of gas when eaten (also REPEATZA)
  514. Repoot (N) - Ill repute, or bad character
  515. Resiglue (N) - Excess glue that must be removed
  516. Respensibility (N) - The responsibility for causing an excess expense
  517. Resumemail (N) - Sending a resume by email, as many employers require now
  518. Retalitarian (N, A) - The belief in retaliating against everything that you don't like
  519. Rightbrain-Resources Department (N) - A human-resources department that concentrates on how well-written a resume is, instead of whether left-brained people are more suited to a technical job than people who write resumes well (See HUMANIST-RESOURCES DEPARTMENT, RANSUME)
  520. Road Island (N) - When all of the roads leading to where you need to go to are closed
  521. Rotadial (V) - To pretend you have a rotary dial phone, so a VOICE JAIL system will send you to a real person
  522. Rotisserate (V) - To roll slowly while sunbathing
  523. Roundcornercopia (N) - The craze for putting round corners on web page boxes, using unnecessary download bandwidth
  524. Runfer (N) - A trip taken to go get something
  525. Samplitude (N) - The strength of the signal being digitally sampled
  526. Scamotosis (N) - A fake disease that causes people to scam
  527. Scaredo (N) - Hair standing straight up
  528. Scareshow (N) - A TV show designed to scare people with a disaster with a very low probability of occurring, often used for political purposes (See DISASTEROID)
  529. Schooltreacher (N) - A teacher who imposes political beliefs on pupils
  530. Schroedingbug (N) - A computer bug that is not noticed until the source code is read * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, MANDELBUG, EINSTEINBUG, POTM BUG)
  531. Screwb (N) - The device that messes up
  532. Screwd (A) - Past tense of "Shrewd"
  533. Scrolljam (N) - The inability to scroll down a web page quickly, because the moving ad steals all of the CPU time
  534. Scrope (V) - Past tense of "scrape"
  535. Scrote (V) - Past tense of SCRUTE
  536. Scrute (V) - To Scrutinize
  537. Sculptduggery (N) - 1. Fake sculptures
    2. Weight-loss clinic body-sculpting claims
  538. Scumquat (N) - Porn site webmaster
  539. Seh (PN) - A neutral gender singular subject pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHR, SEHS)
  540. Sehm (PN) - A neutral gender singular object pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHMSELF, SEHR, SEHS)
  541. Sehmself (PN) - A neutral gender singular reflexive pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHR, SEHS)
  542. Sehr (A) - A neutral gender singular possessive adjective used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHS)
  543. Sehs (PN) - A neutral gender singular possessive pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHR)
  544. Self-Definition (N) - see SELF-DEFINITION
  545. Self Esteam (N) - The steam-boiler temper of a violent man
  546. Sell Phone (N) - What a telemarketer calls you with *
  547. Senioritis (N) - The high-school fear of being about to go out on your own
  548. Sesquipickup (N) - A pickup truck with dual wheels on the back
  549. Sesquisemi (A) - Three quarters of something (See TRIDEMISEMI)
  550. Sesquisemicircle (N) - Three quarters of a circle (See TRIDEMISEMICIRCLE)
  551. Sesquispeech (N) - A half-hour speech delivered in 45 minutes
  552. Sheng Phooey (PH) - A means of harmonizing an office or home so nobody can find anything
  553. Shotgun Art (N) - A painting created by hanging cans of paint over a canvas, and then shooting at them
  554. Sinfoul (A) - Extremely sinful, to the point of offending everyone
  555. Skitted (A) - Involuntarily presented with a skit
  556. Skulldrudgery (N) - Having to think really HARD
  557. Skunkee (N) - The recipient of skunk effluent
  558. Skunkoleum (N) - Skunk effluent
  559. Sloke (N) - A slowpoke (the 2nd word I coined)
  560. Slouched Brain (N) - A disease politicians and others get, which causes an inability to think
  561. Smashcase (N) - Regular text forced into all-uppercase or all-lowercase by the application program, destroying the original case the user wanted
  562. Smudge Pot (N) - 1. Heater used to prevent citrus fruit from freezing on the tree
    2. Old-style highway road flare
  563. Snacrifice (N) - Giving up your favorite snack to please other people *
  564. Sneak Oil (N) - A scam
  565. Sneakret (N) - A sneaky secret (The 3rd word I coined)
  566. Sneakret Exit (N) - An exit only you know about, so you can sneak out
  567. Sneasoning (V) - Sneezing over the food you are cooking
  568. Snickety (A) - Describing the short-throw manual gearshift on a Mazda Miata *
  569. Snippage (N) - The portion edited out of the sender's email in the reply
  570. Snoozeletter (N) - A boring newsletter
  571. Snowberg (N) - A pile of ice or snow left by a snowplow on the sidewalk you are required to keep clear of snow (See CARBERG, MALLBERG)
  572. Snorama (N) - A snoring demonstration
  573. Snowfakes (n) - Eight-pointed paper snowflakes made in grade school, because the teacher can't remember how to make six-pointed ones
  574. Soduk (N) - The award given to the worst of anything (Kudos spelled backwards)
  575. Soundbitten (A) - Converted into a soundbite **
  576. Speediot (N) - 1. A driver who almost always exceeds the speed limit
    2. A legislator who enacts laws that prohibit the defensive driving technique needed to deal with tailgaters
  577. Spider of Damocles (PH) - A spider on the ceiling, which crawls until it is directly over you, and then stops and stays there: You keep watching it nervously, because it might drop on you. Often disrupts meetings.
  578. Spin The Schedule (PH) - A game played by TV network officials, always reshuffling shows so your two favorite shows are on at the same time
  579. Splidnoog (N) - What you call the thing you can't remember the name of, until you remember it * (See FUBBAFLUWATCH)
  580. Spoo! (IJ) - Exclamation made when someone does something deliberately ("oops" spelled backwards) *
  581. Spoogilistics (N) - The art of doing things on purpose just to irritate someone
  582. Spoot (S) - The sound the cheap little bell on 1930s Underwood typewriters made
  583. Spootledop (N) - A tall pole with a red disc on top, used to tell a golfer where the cup is when the green is hidden behind a hill when viewed from the tee
  584. Spottled (A) - Blinded by flash cameras
  585. Spylore (N) - Stories told and retold by spies
  586. Squiddle (V) - Walk like a squid
  587. Stacled (A) - Hindered by obstacles or government regulation
  588. Stayintheredness (N) - Inertia or friction *
  589. Stoogeproofing (V, N) - Preventing people who act like the Three Stooges from messing things up
  590. Stoogidity (A) - Describing behavior like that of the Three Stooges
  591. Stoogification (N) - An effect of an important meeting that causes people to imitate the Three Stooges
  592. Stoogilistics (N) - The art of getting into fights like the Three Stooges
  593. Stooopid (N) - Extremely stupid
  594. Stuffalanche (N) - The result of everything falling from shelves
  595. Stupid Case (N) - Regular text typed with the CAPS LOCK key accidentally turned on (See LOSERCASE)
  596. Stupident (N) - A student who doesn't go to class
  597. Stupidiot (N) - 1. A stupid idiot
    2. A bad driver who does not think of the safety of others
  598. Stupidphone (N) - A smartphone that causes trouble, including auto accidents
  599. Suckurity (N) - Intrusive overkill security measures (See OSADDAMIZE)
  600. Suicycling (v) - Riding a bicycle in a dangerous, illegal manner (such as going the wrong way on a ONE-WAY street)
  601. Summa Cum Latte (PH) - The strongest coffee possible (See MAGNUM CUM LATTE)
  602. Sustart (N) - Art created for sale the purpose of sustenance
  603. Tackle Pinochle (N) - A card game where people get mad and chase each other around the room * (See CONTACT BRIDGE)
  604. Tackle Poker (N) - A card game where people get mad, chase each other, and accuse each other of cheating, after trying to play poker with a pinochle deck (See TACKLE PINOCHLE)
  605. Takeapartable (A) - The ability to be easily taken apart
  606. Tange (V) - To be tangible (See FEASE)
  607. Tardoff (N) - A lateness contest
  608. Technophobiatric (N) - A person who fears the existence of technology
  609. Technobsolescence (N) - Obsolescence of recording formats caused by new technology, resulting in the unreadability of some treasured data, video recordings, and audio recordings
  610. Ted (N) - The stuffing inside a teddy bear
  611. Teevium (N) - The tedium that most TV programs are made of
  612. Telepathetic (N) - A poor example of an attempt at telepathy
  613. Televisium (N) - What TV transmissions are made of
  614. Terabucks (N) - A unit of measure equal to $1,000,000,000,000 used to denote the size of the US national debt or the size of the world money supply: Equal to $1 trillion (US) or $1 Billion (world numbering system, but in US dollars. Tera = metric prefix for 1,000,000,000,000 - See SI standards for a chart on the difference between US numbering and world numbering.)
  615. Textapostachatammunication (V) - The means of communication used by most of today's kids (Zits comic strip)
  616. Textort (V) - To require a long essay paper (as a schoolteacher would)
  617. Thankrupt (A) - Discounting blessings
  618. Thermonuclear Divorce (PH) - Acrimony in matrimony, resulting in alimony
  619. Thinkrupt (A) - Incapable of rational thought
  620. Third-Grade Trump (PH) - A Namecaller
  621. Thirdright (A) - Not quite being forthright
  622. Threeality (N) - The quality of the realism of a three-dimensional display or surround sound system
  623. Threek (N) - 1. A plastic fork that has lost one of the tines
    2. A fork with three tines *
  624. Thumper (N) - A subwoofer (cf Tweeter, Squeaker, Squawker, and Woofer) - the bane of the QUIETESSIMALITE (see QUIETESSIMALITE in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
  625. Tiglath Pilsener (N) - A lager beer named after an ancient Assyrian king.
  626. Timespeed (N) - 299792458 meters per second in the time dimension (See TRIGONORELATIVITY)
  627. Tobble (V) - To hit a keyboard key that makes all of the characters on the screen act drunk (misprint of "toggle")
  628. Toolnik (N) - A tool coveter, or someone who goes nuts over tools
  629. Trash Stinkers (N) - Stickers required by government to pay for having your trash picked up, so people must pay a kickback to get rid of trash - Causes illegal dumping
  630. Trashay (V, N) - How a strumpet walks
  631. Tridemisemi (A) - Three quarters of (See SESQUISEMI)
  632. Tridemisemicircle (N) - Three quarters of a circle (See SESQUISEMICIRCLE)
  633. Trigonorelativity (N) - An algebraic transformation of Einstein's relativity done by Larry Robinson (author of this page) - This change makes relativity easier to understand, and also makes a few new predictions
  634. Tritiny (N) - The crime of triteness
  635. Trookie (N) - A factory mistake result: a sandwich cookie with three cookie layers and two filling layers
  636. Trucklet (N) - Ford Transit
  637. Tryfail (N) - The failed result of a PRODUCK test
  638. Twitblaster (N) - A twit who makes negative Twitter twits
  639. Typogoofical Error (N) - A keyboarding misteak that finds its way into the finished product
  640. Typosetter (N) - A typesetter who makes typos (See TYPSETTER, TYPOGOOFICAL ERROR)
  641. Typost (N) - A typist who makes TYPOGOOFICAL ERRORS
  642. Typsetter (N) - TYPOSETTER
  643. Ucro (U) - Micro, meaning one millionth of (Abbr: u)
  644. Ugly Truckling (N) - Suzuki Sidekick
  645. Ugpleat (N) - The backside of a pleat, seen only when the garment is inside out
  646. Umbojay (N) - The hooked end of an umbrella handle
  647. Umpdark (N) - Whatever blocks the umpire from seeing the play
  648. Umph (N) - 1. One third of a victory
    2. One third of the power of a British sports car
  649. Un-Brainer (N) - Something so stupid that nobody with an actual brain would do it
  650. Unboit (V) - To recover after saying "toy boat" 10 times really fast
  651. Undo Pain - 1. The painful act of being forced to undo good work
    2. Pain caused by Daylight-Stupid Time, or other government activities
  652. Undon't (V) - Do
  653. Unempage (V, pronounced "un-em-PAZH") - To require people to turn off their pagers
  654. Unintendo (N) - Unintended by-product of playing video games
  655. Unputered (A) - Describing a person who either has no computer, or has no computer knowledge
  656. Upperleftswooper (N) - A web page with a curved logo covering the upper left corner - Very trite
  657. Usility (A) - The utility-usefulness index, calculated by taking the average of utility and usefulness
  658. Utensile Strength (N) - The amount of force a plastic fork can take before it breaks into a THREEK
  659. Utopitarian (N) - 1. Wanting the world of John Lennon's song "Imagine"
    2. Wanting a world where nobody has to work
  660. Vecdirt (N) - The direction and distance to the dirt (chief usage is political)
  661. Veni Vidi Vegi (PH) - "I came, I saw, I vegetated." *
  662. Vertifit (V) - To repeatedly try to design a web page to exactly fit the monitor viewport in the vertical direction, a futile pursuit because there is no way to make it work on all computers, browsers, screen resolutions, and window sizes
  663. Viagravated (A) - Upset by all of the spam advertising Viagra
  664. Vigorovated (A) - Upset by all of the spam advertising fake Viagra
  665. Vlig (A) - A Velcro holder for an Ace bandage (See LIG)
  666. Voice Jail (N) - An automated answering system without a choice for the reason of your call, which will not let you talk to a real person *
  667. Warlorn (A) - The emotional feeling of dismay that the country is at war
  668. Wastium (N) - The chemical element that, when added to anything else, turns it into waste
  669. Weakth (N) - A lack of wealth (CF. typo)
  670. Webster (N) - A World Wide Web user
  671. Wigget (N) - A tiny detail added to a spaceship model (for movies) to make it look more real * (See GREEBLE, NURNY)
  672. Windroid (N) - A Windows computer
  673. Woodsmoker (N) - An environmentalist who uses a wood stove (renewable resource), smogging up the neighborhood
  674. Worng (N) - A wrong wrong
  675. Writeproof Paper (N) - Paper with a coating that keeps pens from writing on it (e.g. infrared printer paper)
  676. Yehudi Menuhenpecked (A) - Unable to find the correct menu to change a computer setting in
  677. Yellbin (N) - Where people go when they are angry
  678. Yellybake (V) - To be very vocal about a problem
  679. Yipe-o (N) - A superobvious typo
  680. YOLO (AC) - You only live once *
  681. Yougle (V) - To say, "You! You! It's always about you!"
  682. Yougled (A) - The feeling you get when your spouse says, "You! You! It's always about you!" when it's really about something else
  683. Yubble (V) - Transmitting data, as shown by the blinking light on the modem
  684. Yuggle (V) - Dithering back and forth, such as a wobbling wheel on a shopping cart
  685. Zxnrbl (N, pronounced "ZNER-ble") - A scrambling of a digital transmission or file



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