NEW VOCABU-LARRY

About life, driving, and computers

Updated 08/19/22

Some of the things that happen in life are so STOOOPID that there are no words to describe them. Or at least there weren't any. Here are a few words to fill in the gap.

Abluton (N) - The unit charge of cleanliness (Antonym: ENTROPON)
Ackpuce (N) - The ugliest color ever created
Adipositron (N) - The unit charge of obesity
Alice Gearing (N) - Mishearing of Aliskiren (a hypertension drug)
Alpoet (N) - Writer of dog-food commercials
American Excuse Card (N) - Any credit card used to spend money beyond one's means (See EGOCARD)
Andage (N) - Multiple repetitions of "Oh! One more thing!" (cf. the "Columbo" TV series.)
Angry Fruit Cocktail (N) - Too much clutter on a web page (Also Angry Fruit Salad *)
Angry Fruit Cocktail With Bugs (N) - Too much clutter on a web page, along with frenzied motion
Angry Swarming Bugs (N) - Too much animation on a web page
Anonnymouse (N) - Someone too timid to give his name.
Anonymice (N) - Anonymous sources
Arachnoleptic Fit (N) - The frantic dance performed just after walking through a spider web ****
Arsday (N) - Thursday (from the practice of using R for Thursday in college schedules of classes)
Artchitect (N) - An architect who places the beauty he can create above the functionality of the building
Artchitecture (N) - The design of a building that has beauty, but no functionality
ASCIIbetical Order (A) - In the order of the ASCII character set, with all capital letters sorted before all lowercase letters
ASOTV (PH) - As Seen On TV
Assified Clad (N) - An annoying classified ad
Aswat (A) - In the direction of the swat
Attidude (N) - The laid-back overconfidence of a novice
Audiovisualoglyphics (N) - Pictorial symbols on the buttons of a remote control for audio-visual equipment (See LAUNDROGLYPHICS, GROWLOGLYPHICS)
Autocomputotastrophe (N) - An automobile crash caused by the failure of the on-board computer
Autolescent (N) - A very bad driver, who is self-centered in nature
Autolopithicus (N) - A driver with prehistoric roots, who believes that there is nothing wrong with drinking and driving, breaking traffic laws, and endangering other motorists (See AUTOLESCENT) (Also see SQUATWELLIAN in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
Baccalottery (N) - The gamble you make when you get a fake diploma instead of attending classes
Badzoic Era (N) - The geologic age when everything in the world started to go wrong
Bagpref (N) - Paper or plastic (See PAYPREF)
Bambooze (V) - What alcoholic beverages do to the brain
Barghum (N) - The sticky syrup on everything in a bar, resulting from spilled beer
Bargoon (N) - A bargain that turns out to not be such a bargain
Basebrawl (N) - A game, in which people combine playing baseball with having bench-clearing fights (See BASKETBRAWL, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
Basilicates (N) - The minerals they make basilicas out of
Basketbrawl (N) - 1. A game, in which people combine playing basketball with having bench-clearing fights
2. Indiana Pacers vs Detroit Pistons 11/20/2004 (See BASEBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
Bawl Game (N) - How liberals get their way * (See BRAWL GAME)
Beachketball (N) - Basketball played with a beach ball and huge hoops
Bean DP (N) - Using a computer to do bean-counting inventory
Beelzebug (N) - Satan, in the form of a mosquito in your bedroom at 3 am - Cannot be cast out ****
Beeriad (N) - 10000 cans of beer
Biadversarial (A) - Describing sports where two teams play against each other
Bicker Bonnet (N) - The hat that is worn when the person is argumentative
Bidydle (N) - A bicycle used to break traffic laws
Big Band Theory (PH) - The origin of the universe, according to "The Picture Book of Relativity"
Big Bother (N) - Intrusive government
Bilkage (N) - Money taken by a scam
Billionormilliarding (V) - Getting the US numbering system mixed up with the world numbering system (See SI standards for a chart showing the differences between the numbering systems)
Bimb (N) - One of a series of globular light fixtures, each hanging at the bottom of its own loop of festoon wiring, which is strung between ceiling or post attachment points
Bioblat (N, V, IJ) - Passing gas
Bisackual (N) - Will take either paper or plastic sacks
Bituperate (V) - To verbally abuse people for doing either of the only two available alternatives
Blabentaior (N) - A news commentator who does nothing but blab and blab
Blabber Incontinence (N) - "I'm talking, and I can't shut up!"
Blabberhea (N) - The disease that causes non-stop talking
Blabbertyjabbrer (S) - 1. Everyone talking at once
2. The sound of a phone scrambler
3. Receiving a single-sideband signal on an amplitude-modulated receiver
Blabbery (N) - 1. The misdemeanor of talking too much
2. Using drivel to mislead people
Blabiot (N) - An idiot who won't shut up
Blatticide (N) - The act of killing roaches *
Blearp (N) - A tail light of a car that looks like a stretched raindrop lying on its side
Blebium (N) - The chemical that pimples are made of
BLecc6 (IJ - pronounced "bleksix") - The page author's reaction to the overcoverage of Michael Jackson's death (BLecc6 was the Captcha security code when the page author posted a message complaining about the overcoverage.)
Blig (S) - A very short organ note or chord
Bligs (N) - Obligations
Blooium (N) - The substance that makes equipment go blooey
Bluk (N, A) - Pertaining to advertisements received through email (cf. Bulk)
Blurp (V) - To blur the mouth of someone who says a bad word on TV, as well as muting the sound
Boattom (N) - The underside of a watercraft
Boditi (N) - A tattoo (body graffiti)
BOGO (AC) - Buy one - Get one (free) *
Bohr Bug (N) - A repeatable computer bug * (See EINSTEINBUG, HEISENBUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
Boiped To Death (PH) - Inundated with telemarketing phone calls (from the 'boip' sound)
Bomblastic (A) - Describing the noise of a terrorist bomb going off as "violating the noise ordinance"
Boombastic (A) - Describing the sound of a passing BOOMCAR
Boomcar (N) - An automobile with a booming THUMPER *
Bosstastrophe (N) - An automobile accident caused by the boss yelling at the driver (his employee) over a cell phone
Bothsider (N) - A driver who drives in the center lane of a one-way street, trying to get the first parking space found on either side - usually causes an accident trying to get the space
Botto (N) - An image of an ordinary incandescent light bulb used to portray a fake UFO
Bozone (N) - A substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating ****
Braaacket (N) - The unfair tournament bracket
Bragium (N) - A chemical substance that makes people brag
Brain Bucket (N) - Safety helmet *
Brain Remover (N) - An alcoholic beverage that is 100 proof or higher - Science has now shown that excessive drinking causes the brain to shrink and lose function - Could be a cause of SLOUCHED BRAIN
Bratosaurus (N) - Where brats (bratwurst) come from
Brawl Game (N) - A sporting event disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
Brimlets (N) - Diabetic testing supplies (ad by Wilford Brimley)
Broker (A) - What you become after you use the services of one
Browseocoveter (N) - A web page designer who wants to keep you from using your browser controls while on his website
Brushery (N) - A truckload of brush that has been cut-down and removed
Brute and Verify (A) - Describing computer menus that drive you nuts making sure you want to do what you did
Bustworthy (A) - Easily broken
CaCaCase (N) - Text with random shifts between uppercase and lowercase - eXamPlE: vERy aNnOYIng
Cacajillion (U) - The total number of things that can possibly go wrong **
Caffiend (N) - A person who can't get through the day without caffeine (See DECAFALON)
Californicate (V) - 1. To behave like HOLLYWODD actors and actresses do in TV shows
2. To believe that the California government actually knows what it is doing
Californitritus (N) - All of those labels on equipment saying that it contains something "known to the State of California" to be harmful in some obscure way or another - Treat them as the trash they are, because California doesn't really have any proof to back up what it "knows"
Candbid (V) - Accidentally bidding on an item at an auction, by inadvertently making a gesture
Car Challenger (N) - A HINDENCAR
Car Hockey (N) - 1. Figure 8 racing 2. NASCAR racing
Carberg (N) - A chunk of ice or snow attached to the back of a car fender (See MALLBERG, SNOWBERG)
Cannonboxclog (N) - A pool filter clogged with Progressive Insurance boxes
Cansas (N) - A recycle bin full of cans, rattling in the wind
Canucopia (N) - Trash cans of plenty
Cashatrophic (A) - Out of money
Cashtration (N) - The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period ****
Caterpallor (N) - The color you turn after finding half a worm in your apple ****
Celebratty (A) - Describing a well-known musician, actor, or public figure acting like a spoiled brat
Celebraty (N) - A well-known musician, actor, or public figure who acts like a spoiled brat
Cellophase (N) - To phase into and out of paying attention to your driving, because you are on a cell phone
Cellublab (N) - One side of a cell phone conversation heard by others in the room (See CELLVERSATION)
Cellulite Phone (N) - A portable phone, because you don't have to run to answer it, you gain weight
Cellupacifier (N) - A sledgehammer used to permanently silence cellular phones
Cellusnapture (N) - Catching someone in a ridiculous pose with a cell phone camera
Celluyodel (S) - A ringing cellular phone driving people nuts
Cellversation (N) - A person, distracting others by apparently talking to himself, who is actually on a cellular phone (See CELLUBLAB)
Cesspoo (N) - The detritus that is found in a cesspool
Cheepcare (N) - Healthcare that cheeps out
Cheaticap (N) - 1. A handicap that allows a player to cheat
2. Parking in a handicap parking space when you are not handicapped
Choon (N) - 1. The shape of one section of a hanging insulator used to support megavolt power lines from poles
2. Anything else the same shape (a small bell)
Chopera (N) - An opera interrupted by a power failure
Chortleography (N) - The art of composing dance steps or laws that are funny
Cigabutt (N) - The most often distributed litter, a cigarette butt
Cigliar (N) - Someone who says he quit smoking, but didn't
Cisco Kid, The (N) - The icon for "Network drive not available" (looks like a man in a cowboy hat on a low-resolution monitor)
Clairbrainiant (A) - ODDIOTIC
Cliptomaniac (N) - A kleptomaniac who steals only paper clips (4th word I coined)
Clockmare (N) - 1. How DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME messes up things
2. Being the janitor of a building with 157 public clocks on the day the time changes for DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME
Clocktonite (N) - The mysterious substance inside an office clock that slows down civil service workers after 2 pm
Clue-by-four (N) - The act of adding whack to something that is out of whack
Coblabberate (V) - To cooperate through total blabber
Coffee o'Clock (PH) - Time for coffee
Coffee oneself into the restroom (V PH) - Drink so much coffee that you need the restroom
Cogblat (S) - The clash of gears caused by a driver trying to learn to drive a stick shift
Coinologium (N) - Any word coined from the name of some obscure, long-forgotten event or place
Commit Truth (V) - To tell the truth, even though it is not within the guidelines of POLITICAL CORRECTION **
Complosion (N) - An explosion intended to compress matter, Erroneously called "implosion"
Conphylactic (N) - A leaky condom
Contact Bridge (N) - A card game where people get mad and chase each other around the room (See TACKLE PINOCHLE)
Copyrat (N) - A copyright holder who will not place a discontinued product in the public domain, keeping those who need it from getting it
Cordurog (N) - A single repetition of the ridges in corduroy material (See CORRUG)
Corrodium (N) - What dead batteries are made of (See PRE-CORRODIUM)
Corrodium Warning (N) - "Do not lose this radio in closet while installing dead batteries."
Corrug (N) - A single repetition of the folds in the center of corrugated cardboard (See CORDUROG)
COVIDictator (V) - A politician who dictates draconian rules to fight the virus.
Crastinator (N) - A person adept at delaying, who has not yet turned professional
Credirt (N) - A very poor credit rating
Danger Constancy, Laws of (PH) - 1. The amount of danger in the world at any time is a constant
2. Danger is conserved. Danger can be neither created nor destroyed
Dangtoe (N) - The toe you keep stubbing
Debtpasser (N) - A person who uses the word DEBTPASSES when saying the Lord's Prayer
Debtpasses (N) - The word spoken by someone saying the Lord's Prayer who starts to say "debts" when the rest of the congregation says "trespasses" - The resulting word spoken is "debtpasses."
Decafalon (N) - Getting through the day without caffeine **** (See CAFFIEND)
Deeple (N) - The line on an appliance that tells how full you can fill it - Also Maxfill
Deficiency Apartment (N) - 1. An apartment with two rooms, one of them being a bathroom
2. Any apartment that has decayed because it has been under rent control for years
Deja-Moo (PH) - "I've heard this bull before."
Delay-Off (N) - When both sides counter each other with continuances
Dellinkquent (N) - The guy on the Staples commercial who freaks out over a lack of Dell ink
Demp (S) - One bounce of a basketball.
Depodiated (A) - A speaker who, when told to come up to the podium, finds there isn't one to stand on, but just a lectern
Deprecator (N) - An elitist who won't leave existing computer languages alone, but has to change them
Despotician (N) - A politician who is a despot
Despotition (N) - A deposition made with criminal intent
Dimelich Maneuver (N) - The process by which a waiter squeezes the tip from the customer's pocket
Dimpled Chad (N) - A defect in a computer punch card that is caused by a dirty card reader
Disasteroid (N) - A large rock hurtling to destroy the earth in a disaster movie or a History Channel SCARESHOW
Discongenuous (A) - When a company discontinues needed products, or says "Your call is important to us" for two hours of keeping you on hold
Discrumbinate (V) - To remove crumbs
Disfroginate (V) - To remove the frog from one's throat before speaking
Dishwashable (A) - Able to be washed in a dishwasher without being damaged
Dislaboration (N) - The state of politicians or labor unions working against each other
Dodge Mahal (N) - A gold-plated diamond-studded 1969 Dodge Charger
Doe Snot (PH) - A common typo of "does not"
Dongle (N) - A device attached to a computer that proves to the software that the user has purchased the software, and thus has a right to use it and violates the law once the copyright expires *
Dopeler Effect (N) - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly ****
Dotcompoop (N) - Person who can't surf the Internet
Double Drick (N) - A large-area power failure, such as the one on 11/9/1965 (See DRICK)
Double Entawdry (N) - A phrase that has two meanings, with one of them being sexually suggestive
Double-Hued Cellphonium (N) - A cell phone that glows with two colors at night (cf. Double-belled euphonium)
Downbardment (N) - Microsoft Update disrupting your work
Dratify (V) - To affirm mistakes as part of the plan
Dratoff (N) - A mistake contest
Drayne (N) - Any person, government program, or process that destroys wealth
Dreamlinercar (N) - Electric car on fire
Drick (S, N) - A power failure (From the TV series "Green Acres")
Dricken (N) - Plural of DRICK - multiple power failures
Dricker (N) - The cause of a power failure (See DRICK)
Dripulate (V) - After the rain ends, water drips from trees
Droit (N) - A French robot that takes away your rights and money, giving them to undeserving artists
Droneswatter (N) - A very large flyswatter used to swat down drones
Drownpour (N) - Rain heavy enough to drown small animals
DST Bug (N) - The computer and equipment errors that occur because the legislated beginning and ending dates for DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME changed in 2007 so existing software and equipment changed on the wrong date (see DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
Ducksnort (N) - A baseball hit just beyond the infield *
Dupid (A) - Stupid enough to be duped
Dupidity (N) - Stupid enough to be duped
DVDemolish (V) - What you have to do to the packaging to get to the actual DVD disc, due to the anti-theft packaging
Dwet (S) - The sound of the Hammond organ finale note on a record the page author has.
Dwoodle (V) - How an elongated ellipsoid rolls erratically (e.g. rugby ball)
Dyslexia Amplifier (N) - A web page that constantly changes. repeatedly erasing the mental text buffer of a dyslexic person, so he can't read the page contents
Dystypic (A) - Typing the letters of words in the WORNG order
Eblabberate (V) - Use blabber to elaborate
Eboink (S) - The sound a computer makes when an email arrives
Eboppity (IJ) - The internet strikes back
Edirtorialize (V) - To add bias or innuendo to an article
Egocard (N) - A credit card with no limit (See AMERICAN EXCUSE CARD)
Einsteinbug (N) - A computer bug that requires a major change in the way the software works to fix it (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
Ellwait (N) - The time someone loses or wastes by using mass transit
Enemess (N) - 1. The messiness of a sloppy enema
2. The mess created by an enemies list (equivalent to #1)
Ennuious (A) - Boring
Entropon (N) - The unit charge of messiness (Antonym: ABLUTON)
Evain (A) - vanity in email
Evianated (V) - The feeling you get as you buy your bottled water, and suddenly realize that "Evian" is "naive" spelled backwards
Exaster (N) - 1. A former disaster
2. An ex-wife
Excedrache (N) - A headache caused by trying to open the Excedrin bottle
Execublabber (N) - Drivel produced by a government or corporate executive (See LEGISBLABBER)
Exfiltrate (V) - To steal computer files
Exit Tramp (N) - A beggar who stands at the local street end of an exit ramp with a sign, asking for money
Exoid (N) - The monster who used to be your spouse
Expert (N) - Unknown drip under pressure (cf. x = unknown + spurt = drip under pressure) *
Eye Swatter (N) - A cold drink
Facebook Fog (N) - The sudden realization that you have no idea what was going on in class while you were on Facebook
Failacy (N) - Propensity to fail
Fairgle (V) - To yell "It's not fair" when you lose - the chief activity of many liberals
Fakade (N) - A fake facade
Fallic (A) - Full of fallacy
Fanatasy (N) - Fanatic fantasy
Faqirial (A) - A day short and a dollar late
Faqiry (N, pronounced "fakery") - One of the fake fairies that liberals postulate to exist to provide the missing wealth needed to make the LIVING WAGE and other impossible plans FEASE
Fauxtography (N) - Making PHAKE photos
Faxic Waste (N) - When ads come through the fax, wasting your supplies
Fease (V) - To be feasible * (See TANGE)
Feasily (AV) - doably
Feasy (A) - Easily feasible
Feeloader (N) - 1. A government agency that makes money from excessive fees
2. Police departments and courts that can increase their budgets by increasing the number of tickets and fines
3. Police, fire, and ambulance departments who charge the victims they help for the emergency services they get
4. A state highway department paid for by tolls
Feuditi (N) - Graffiti arising from a feud
Fidgetbuster (N) - 1. A U.S. Senate debate that keeps legislators alert and concentrating
2. A toy given to a child to keep him quiet at church
Filtray (V) - Portray in a way that gets through filter software
Fistevities (N) - Celebrations where fistfights break out
Flewpart (N) - A FLYPART that can not be found after a PARTFLY occurs (See GRUMMIES)
Flig (S) - A sound heard in a game show or a video game
Floorzoni (N) - A machine that looks like a Zamboni that is driven around the floor of a store cleaning it
Flyable Part (N) - FLYPART that has not yet flown (See FLYPART)
Flypart (N) - A part in a machine that is spring-loaded, so it flies out of place as soon as the retaining parts are removed (See FLYABLE PART, PARTFLY, FLEWPART, GRUMMIES)
Flyswatter Interchange (N) - A traffic interchange so poorly designed that it looks like they just put a bunch of interchange parts over a clay model of the area, and then took a flyswatter and went SPLAT! An example of a flyswatter interchange can be found in New London, Connecticut, at the intersection of I-95, US-1, and Connecticut 32. Flyswatter interchanges often lack ramps for some movements.
Fogl (V) - 1. To fake a UFO photograph
2. To bamboozle people with a fake UFO photograph
Fogmare (N) - 1. A nightmarishly thick fog
2. A huge multiple vehicle traffic accident caused by fog
FOMO (AC) - Fear of missing out *
Fook (V) - To blind a camera system or a person with a bright flash of light
Fooperize (V) - Send the drive-thru carrier through the tube to the teller (cf. the sound often made)
Footbrawl (N) - A football game disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, RACEBRAWL)
Foreploy (N) - Any misrepresentation made for the purpose of getting laid ****
Fortpolio (N) - A set of investments that paralyze your funds
Frankencorn (N) - Genetically engineered grain *
Frankenlight (N) - A light fixture that suddenly changes brightness at long random intervals
Frankenstink (N) - The awful smell in any chemistry laboratory
Frankenstorm (N) - The merging of a hurricane and a winter storm, as happened with Hurricane Sandy
Frap Rays (N) - 1. Science fiction rays found in 1950s comic books
2. Science fiction rays found in Calvin and Hobbes "Spaceman Spiff" episodes
3. Why people crave frappes
Fratily (AV) - In the manner of a college fraternity
Fraudtopsy (N) - Fake alien autopsy *
Fromare (N) - A nightmare about cheese
Frustralia (N) - A country with a government that frustrates everyone
Fubbafluwatch (N) - The thing you can't think of the name of when you need it * (See SPLIDNOOG)
Funderful (A) - Wonderfully fun
Garbageabetical Order (N) - The result of sorting a database on a field that has not yet been filled in, so the computer sorts the database using the disk trash from previous files that it finds there
Garbaggage (N) - The extra junk added to windows Vista and up to make it work with a cell phone
Gasp Mileage (N) - The shock of your low miles per dollar
Geigers (U) - What a Geiger counter counts
Ghost Handicapped (PH) - Being a non-handicapped person sharing a car with a handicapped person and parking in a handicap space so the handicapped person can use it next
Ghost-to-Ghost Telegraph (PH) - Automatic writing
Gigaperson (N) - A unit of measure equal to 1,000,000,000 people used to describe the world population - The world population is approximately 6 gigapersons in 2005 AD. That is 6 billion people (US numbering) or 6 milliard people (world numbering - See SI standards for a chart on the difference between US numbering and world numbering)
Gigglepathic (N) - The portion of the testimony that causes the audience to giggle
Gigli (A) - Very bad: Used to describe the film by the same name. Also describes the economy-destroying platforms of Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and John Kerry.
Giraffiti (N) - Vandalism spray-painted very, very high ****
Glibido (N) - All talk and no action ****
Glitchital (A) - The propensity of digital equipment to be glitched (disturbed by transients)
Glurk (S) - Someone suddenly sitting on a couch or bed, causing someone else sitting there who was drinking to spill the drink
Gnarble (V) - To accidentally encrypt data with garbage for the encryption key
Go-Faster Windows (N) - Slanted windows on buses that make them look ten times faster than they are
Government Waist (N) - Obesity resulting from government-induced stress
Grammardemalian (N) - Teacher with bad grammar
Grateless (N) - The opposite of grateful **
Gravitime (N) - The new theory by Larry Robinson that time causes gravity
Greeble (N) - A detail added to a surface (as on a movie miniature) to make it look more real * (See NURNY, WIGGET)
Griddy Kilobuck (PH) - A utility that charges wholesale prices that can fluctuate widely with $1000 electric bills in power shortages
Gross Ignoramus (A) - 144 times ordinary ignoramus, describing most government meetings, and anyone in favor of DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME * (see DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
Growloglyphics (N) - Pictorial how-to instructions on packaging containing plants, bulbs, or seeds (See LAUNDROGLYPHICS, AUDIOVISUALOGLYPHICS)
Grummies (N) - Little parts that get lost easily
Grumptious (N) - Extremely grumpy
Gubble-gubble (S) - An instance of forgetting what you were going to say
Gyrese (N) - Whirling Dervish language
Haberdashanoid (N) - Someone more worried about how his clothes look than about what's going on
Hackmow (N) - The lawn care guy I didn't hire
Haftas (N) - Things that have to be done
Hairanoid (N) - Someone more worried about how his hair looks than about what's going on
Hairdon't (N) - What not to do to your hair (Antonym: Hairdo)
Handmonster (N) - That scary-looking crescent with hands on the "Safe Place" signs
Handsphreak (N) - A person who believes that it is safe to use a hands-free phone while driving
Handsphwreck (N) - A HANDSPHREAK who got into a wreck due to being distracted while talking on a cell phone
Hangtail (N) - That pesky odd-sized page in a newspaper advertising insert
Happenable (A) - Possible to do **
Happeneur (N) - A person who makes things happen **
Harmio (N) - An evil robot droid
Hatist (N) - A reporter who propagates his hate
Headweak (A) - The opposite of headstrong *
Heedless Horseman (N) - A driver who does not think before doing - Probably has a case of SLOUCHED BRAIN *
Heisenbug (N) - A computer bug that disappears during attempts to locate it * (See BOHR BUG, EINSTEINBUG, MANDELBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
Hermoan (N) - Female hormone
Hindencar (N) - A hydrogen-powered car, after it exploded (See CAR CHALLENGER, KAHUKUCAR)
Hintron (N) - One single entry in the help menu of software
Hipatitis (N) - Terminal coolness ****
Hollerithabetical Order (A) - In the order of the Hollerith punch card code character set, as sorted on a card sorter, with all capital letters sorted before all lowercase letters, and numbers mixed into the letters
Hollywodd (N) - Any place where all morality is abandoned - Hollywood at its oddest (See CALIFORNICATE)
Hoolywodd (N) - Any place where all morality is abandoned - Hollywood at its oddest (See CALIFORNICATE)
Humanist-Resources Department (N) - A hiring department that unconstitutionally requires all new employees to be POLITICALLY CORRECT
HUNG (AC A) - Hung until no good *
Hunt-and-Park System (N) - A system for government employee parking where the number of PARKING STINKERS issued is greater than the number of parking spaces available
Hurry-Wart (N) - A driver in too much of a hurry to be safe
Hydrogen Power (N) - A scam masquerading as an energy source
Hypnosoft (N) The circling "please wait" swirl on the Windows 7 opening screen that hypnotizes people into buying more Microsoft products
Idiodyssey (N) - A fool's errand, including most of what government makes people do
Idiotorialist (N) - A reporter who propagates his beliefs, rather than the truth
Ignoranus (N) - 1. A person who is both stupid and an ass ****
2. A person who is stupid at both ends
Ignority (N) - An ignored minority
Imperforations (N) - Imperfect perforations in bills, stubs, or stamps
Indestructium (N) - The plastic the unopenable clear sales packaging for flash drives is made of
Infilthrator (N) - A person who thinks there is nothing wrong with pornography, and spreads it everywhere he can - an originator of unwanted pornographic email
Infoolence (N) - Bad advice from someone with power
Inoculatte (N) - To take coffee intravenously when you are running late ****
Insatrument (N) - An instrument that lies, malfunctions, or can't be calibrated
Insultant (N) - The consultant a company sends to help and insult you
Intaxication (N) - Euphoria from a tax refund, which lasts only until you realize that it was your money to start with ****
Interget (N) - The Internet, when used for buying or winning prizes
Java Man (N) - Someone with prehistoric roots, who can't function without coffee
John the Worst (N) - The Prince John in the Robin Hood story
Kahukucar (N) - Hybrid car on fire (cf. Kahuku Hawaii 2012 wind farm storage battery building fire)
Kalt (N) - Potassium salt (see NALT)
Karmacide (N) - When one person's karma runs over another person's dogma
Keyboardophile (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a keyboard command over a mouse command
Knarfle (V) - To mess up a computer file
Lampson (U) - The unit (abbr. Ls) of speed of human speech (Normal speech is 200 millilampsons) *
Landscupper (V) - To remove all of the traffic signs restricting turns into or out of a place of business in the process of "landscaping"
Laudiot (V) - A person, usually a politician, who wrongfully expects to be honored
Laundroglyphics (N) - Pictorial how-to instructions on garment tags for doing laundry (See AUDIOVISUALOGLYPHICS, GROWLOGLYPHICS)
Lawdiot (V) - A person, usually a politician, who misunderstands the law
Lawyer (V) - To sic a lawyer on someone
Lawyer Up (V) - To get a lawyer, ending police questioning *
Lawyurp (N) - A lawyer who makes people sick
Leap Year (N) - Nature's revenge on politicians for imposing DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME
Left-overs (N) - The paltry amount we get to keep when the Left takes over the government
Leftunders (N) - Bits of food that fall under the table for the cat to eat (Kit n' Carlisle comic strip)
Legisblabber (N) - Drivel produced by a government legislature (See EXECUBLABBER)
Lemonicious (N) - Faulty (especially used cars)
Lenojustice (N) - Guilty!
Lenolack (N) - Brains not included
Licentious License (N) - A nasty or offensive personalized license plate
Lickproof Stamp (N) - A peel-and-stick postage stamp
Liewitness (N) - A perjurer
Lig (A) - A metal holder for an Ace bandage *
Liminary (A) - Introductory * (See POSTLIMINARY)
Liquese (N) - Drunken speech
Listdexic (A) - Unable to follow a line of text in a wide list
Listenowboss (N) - A boss who creates a traffic hazard by demanding that his employees must always be reachable by cell phone, even when they are driving (This should be a crime)
Long Billion (N) - The long scale billion = 1,000,000,000,000 = 10^12 (as opposed to SHORT BILLION = 10^9)
Long Trillion (N) - The long scale trillion = 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 = 10^18 (as opposed to SHORT TRILLION = 10^12)
Looney Eclipse (N) - When people go mad during an eclipse
Lootery (N) - 1. What most people perceive a state lottery to be: A source of loot
2. The government revenue from a state lottery
Lord of the Files (N) - The sysop
Losercase (N) - Regular text typed with the CAPS LOCK key accidentally turned on (See STUPID CASE)
Losiana (N) - Where lost stuff goes
Loyer (N) - A lawyer who loiters in hospitals
Magnum Cum Latte (PH) - Strong coffee (See SUMMA CUM LATTE)
Mallberg (N) - The huge piles of snow seen in shopping malls for weeks after the rest of the snow in the area is gone (See CARBERG, SNOWBERG)
Malquacktice (N, V, A) - Medical malpractice
Mandelbug (N) - A computer bug with an obscure complex cause * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, EINSTEINBUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, POTM BUG)
Manextortment (N) - Management that uses extreme pressure to squeeze every last bit of extra performance from employees - Causes obesity
Maskera (N) - The period of time that government requires COVID-19 masks.
Meanace (N) - A menace who is also mean
Megabucksic (A) - Extremely expensive
Memobe (N) - One of the little things that carry memos on computer networks
Meringue Noisette (N) - The fake squish sound used when a pie is thrown
Messterpiece (N) - 1. Antonym of masterpiece
2. The result of liberals trying to fix the economy
3. The result of a giant food fight
4. The result of a ruined recording studio session
Metrefutation (N) - Demonstration that English units work better in the real world
- English units fit the real world and the human body, but metric units don't fit anything
- Construction: Whole numbers for English, odd decimals for Metric
- Cooking: English values depend on the size of an egg, but metric values don't fit anything
- Cooks multiply or divide recipes by 2 or 3, not 5 or 10
- Clothes, houses, and furniture must be designed to fit humans, not the Prime Meridian
Misteak (N) - A mistake within a mistake, or a recursive misteak (5th word I coined)
Mnemory (N) - Memory based on mnemonics
Mobnopoly (N) - A monopoly created through the use of intellectual property
Moehair (N) - A tuft of hair ripped from any of the Three Stooges
Moostrated (A) - Not enough room to get past a moose in the road
Mousageddon (N) - World War III caused by one wrong mouse click
Mouse Manure (N) - The results produced by bad science
Mouse Potato (N) - Internet addict *
Moused Up (V) - Having just made a mistake with a computer mouse
Mousecar (N) - A Kia Soul (from the ad where mice are driving toasters and the Kia Soul)
Mousemilk (V, N) - Make a big issue out of something inconsequential *
Mouseteadious (A) - Very steady handling of the mouse
Mousetidious (A) - Very careful mouse use
Mousetied (A) - The state of having to stay within a certain distance of the computer or DAW to work the mouse
Mousetrap (N) - A web page that works with a touch screen, but not with a mouse
Mousfunction (N) - A mouse misfunction
Mousion (N) - The use of a computer mouse
Mouso (N) - Mousographical error *
Mousophile (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a mouse command over a keyboard command
Mousophobe (N) - Anyone who prefers to use a keyboard command over a mouse command
Moustered (N) - Flustered by a malfunctioning mouse
Moustake (N) - A mistaken mouse click
Mousteadious (A) - Steadiness in use of a mouse
Moustidious (A) - Neatness in use of a mouse
Moustified (A) - Can't use a computer mouse
Moustrained (A) - Not enough room to use a computer mouse
Moustrated (A) - Not enough room to use a computer mouse
Muda (N - pronounced "myooda") - The strange-shaped white lamp globes covering ceiling light fixtures found in government buildings, made in the 1930s and 1940s (They look like the ends of trumpet mutes)
Multiflusher (N) - Someone using a new 1.6 gallon/flush toilet, needing 3 flushes to clear the waste
Muppered (A) - Slapped with a stupid lawsuit to stop MUPPY THREE trading
Muppy Three (N) - MP-3
Muriad (N) - 10,000 mice
MySpite (N) - A MySpace account used to spite other people
Nabulate (V) - A fancy word meaning 'nab'
Nad (N) - A nutty ad
Naggravating (A) - Naggingly aggravating (e.g. Political Correctness)
Nalt (N) - Sodium salt (see KALT)
Nap Up (V) - The act of a nap sneaking up on someone ("It just napped up on me.")
Nar (N) - The whole picture (instead of two seminars)
Nasticulous (A) - Ridiculously nasty
Nastorious (A) - Notoriously nasty
Nastycar (N) - An auto race that is won by causing opponents to crash (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, RACEBRAWL)
Naughty-Bits-Deleted-For-Tat (PH) - Overcensorship (by security software) of perfectly harmless phrases containing words that also have obscene definitions
Navigrabber (N) - A web advertisement that expands to cover the navigation buttons on a web page, so you can't leave until the ad finishes playing
Neat Czar (N) - A public official who requires all properties to be clean, neat, and tidy
Necessary Security (PH) - Term reserved for a kit consisting of a blanket and a pacifier
Nerble (N) - A pause in an online video because the data stream can't keep up with the playback
Newlywife (N) - What a husband proudly calls his new wife
Nignull (N) - The removal of night prophesied in Revelation
Nividue (N) - Snow on the ground
Nogbutt (N) - A New-Year's Eve drunk making a donkey's rear end of himself
Norton (V) - To fuss around while getting ready to write
Noyed (N) - A paranoid annoyed by a noise
Numble (V) - To mumble numbers (as in playing Sudoku)
Nurge (V) - To repeatedly move a car closer to the intersection, as if that could make the light turn green faster - Actually, it can do the opposite, if the car moves off of the detector (leaving it empty) *
Nurny (N) - A part from a plastic model kit that is used for some other purpose * (also Nurnie. See GREEBLE, WIGGET)
Nutwork (N) - A TV network that cancels all of the good shows
Obesistress (N) - Undue stress that causes obesity
Obnoxage (N) - The amount of OBNOXITY in a system
Obnoxity (N) - A high degree of obnoxiousness
Obsoloot (N) - Money dishonestly earned by companies who force people to buy the new product by no longer supporting the old product - Microsoft and Intel are prime examples
Oddiotic (A) - Believing in odd idiotic things
Offertunity (N) - The time in the church service when they take the offering
Oldance (N) - An old nuance
Omegalomaniac (N) - A person who is afraid of the end of the world
Oniondated (A) - Overcome by onion flatus
Orkadork (N) - The woman on the ad, who says, "Orca! Orca! Oh! I Love Orca!"
Osaddamize (V) - 1. What terrorists do to people
2. Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Barack Obama oppressing people
3. Government imposing insensitive overkill security to prevent terrorism
Osaddamized (A) - 1. Describing a victim of terrorism
2. Describing victims of Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Barack Obama oppressing people
3. Describing the victims of insensitive overkill security to prevent terrorism
Ostensopornosis (N) - A degenerate disease, with symptoms of extreme cravings for pornography ****
Outmoot (V) - To make the mootest point in the debate
Packmouse (N) - A person who will not get rid of useless computer files
Palindnilap (N) - The word "palindrome" rewritten as a palindrome (or a PALINDNILAP)
Paralyze Parking (N) - 1. Parking arranged where cars are parked parallel to the traffic lanes - Every time someone wants to enter or leave a parking space, he has to block a lane, paralyzing traffic behind that space
2. The medical results of careless maneuvering while parking
3. Using parallel parking techniques to maneuver a motorized wheelchair
Parapathetic (A) - Not knowing where one is going
Parking Stinkers (N) - Stickers issued for government parking, so employees must pay a kickback to be able to go to work
Parodig (N) - A parody that makes a sarcastic dig at something or someone
Partfly (N) - One instance of what happens when you release the retaining parts holding a FLYPART
Passturn (N) - The impatient driver who passes your car, then slows down and blocks you while waiting to turn left into his driveway
Pay-Per-Bag Trash Stinkers (N) - Stickers required to be paid for and put on trash bags by the government-owned-monopoly municipal trash collection system
Paypref (N) - Paper or plastic (See BAGPREF)
Pedapulate (N) - To manipulate something with a foot
Pedasstrian (N) - A person who crosses the street against the light
Pedesstalrian (N) - The pedestrians the government puts on a pedestal when writing traffic laws
Pedesturnated (A) - Describing a driver who starts to turn left through a gap in high-speed traffic, and is blocked in the way of the high speed traffic by a pedestrian who starts to cross right in front of him
Pencilvania (N) - Where all the writing instruments disappear to, when you need to write
Penlout (N) - The store cashier who takes your pen after you write a check, thinking it belongs to the store
Pentupium (N) - A souped-up Pentium computer
Percussive Maintenance (N) - Adding more whack to anything that is out of whack *
Perspicapacious (A) - Having plenty of perspicacity
Pervertity (N) - The capacity to CALIFORNICATE *
Pessimum (A) - Antonym of optimum *
Pestrian (N) - A pedestrian who believes that pedestrians always have the right of way, and who exercises this belief, even at his own peril, or even when it breaks the law
Pext (N) - A pest who texts
Phake (A) - Describing something fake, used to PHOOL people into doing something PHOOLISH
Phishing (N) - Stealing a company's ID, then using it to steal the IDs of others * (See PHAKE, PHOOL, PHOOLISH)
Phobiac (N) - Someone afraid of everything
Phone-pong (N) - 1. A game where two people alternately leave messages asking for callbacks on each other's answering machines
2. A game where a person repeatedly changes long-distance carriers to get all of the freebies
Phoney (A) - Always on a cell phone
Phoography (N) - PHAKE Photography (See FAUXTOGRAPHY, PHAKE)
Phool (V) - To trick someone into doing something PHOOLISH with PHAKE information
Phoolish (A) - Describing doing something that compromises security or an identity after reading PHAKE information
Photoblast (N) - The disconcerting expansion of a picture as the mouse pointer passes over it
Photohoarder (N) - The website developer who wants you to be able to see his photos, but not save copies of them
Phraud (N) - The criminal act of PHOOLING people by PHISHING with PHAKE spoofed spam emails
Pickanoid (N) - A person who gets paranoid over the tiniest annoyances
Pickanweedia (N) - The faulty parts of Wikipedia
Pickupable (A) - Able to be picked up by hand
Pickybody (N) - 1. A person who gets very upset at the tiniest annoyances
2. A person who demands that government shield him from the tiniest annoyances
Pindler (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PNDLR (See PRIND..., PRINO...)
Pixel Dust (N) - Individual pixels showing the wrong color due to digital photo format conversion (example: .bmp image converted to .jpg image)
Plausar (N) - A massive object that emits pulses that make impossible things look plausible
Plause (V) - To be plausible
Plutonic Relationship (PH) - A relationship between two people that often volcanically erupts
Pocket Dial (V) - To accidentally dial a cell phone while sitting on it in your pocket *
Political Correction (PH) - A religious belief that was hijacked from the Baha'i Faith and made political
Polyunfaturated (A) - Describing fat that is polyunsaturated
Pooforations (N) - Perforations that go poof (disappear) when you try to tear along them
Pook (S) - Microsoft Update interrupting your work (cf. the sound effect Windows plays for the update icon)
Poppaea Sabina (N) - The biological specie of an alleged race of space aliens, according to one pseudoscientist *
Porndupe (N) - A victim of the black-eye prank (a cylinder supposedly containing "naughty" pictures)
Postliminary (A) - Describing the main event (See LIMINARY)
Postphone (V) - To send notice by telephone that a meeting is rescheduled to a later date (The first word I coined, at age 8)
POTM bug (AC N) - Phase-Of-The-Moon Bug, a computer bug that occurs under strange conditions: The original POTM bug occurred on an early computer, where someone got the idea of adding the phase of the moon to the system clock output. The line was one character too long on Wednesdays in September when the phase was past the first or third quarter, causing the time buffer to overflow into the next byte, allocated for a different use. * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, SCHROEDINGBUG, EINSTEINBUG, MANDELBUG)
Prairie-Dogging (V) - Popping up over the cubicle walls whenever something happens in the office *
Pre-Corrodium (N) - What batteries are made of (See CORRODIUM)
Pre-Empty (N) - A vacuum cleaner "refill" bag (pre-emptied? See RE-EMPTY)
Pre-Numbskull Agreement (N) - An agreement designed to keep someone stupid enough to marry a golddigger from losing his shirt *
Predator Creditor (N) - A creditor who makes a loan, expecting to make money by foreclosing on it
Prephone (V) - To move the time of a meeting or event earlier by using a telephone *
Prepone (V) - To move the time of a meeting or event earlier *
Presenteeism (N) - Going to work when you are sick (Actual economics term) *
Princess Runningmouth (N) - Elizabeth Warren *)
Prindel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Prindetuwun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND21 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Prindewun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND1 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Prindgur (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDGr (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Prindhur (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDHr (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Prindsel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNDSL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Prindud (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRND⇑⇓ (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Prinodel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNODL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Prinodsel (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNODSL (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Prinodetuwun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNOD21 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Prinodewun (N) - Automatic Transmission gearshift order PRNOD1 (See PINDLER, PRIND..., PRINO...)
Pro-Bonehead (A) - Describing a person who gets a lousy lawyer for free (pro-bono), rather than hiring a good one
Pro-Maskon Man (V) - An overkill politician who demands that everyone wear virus masks
Probgram (N) - A program with a problem with its operation
Produck (N) - A fake product
Prodyuct (N) - A badly made product
Pucker Pea (N) - Harder peas grown to be frozen
Purdon't (IJ) - What Indiana University fans shout when the team is playing against Purdue
Purloot (N) - Purloined loot, as opposed to ordinary loot
Quabble (N) - A squabble about quibbling
Quadnary (N) - The quandary of whether to convert to surround sound
Quadnery (N) - The question: Is it surround sound or not?
Quarrelentine (N) - A not-so-loving valentine
Quety (N) - A questionable etymology (Example: They call a head statue a "bust" because the rest of it got busted off)
Queueue (N) - A very long queue
Racebrawl (N) - An auto race disrupted by a fight (See BASEBRAWL, BASKETBRAWL, BRAWL GAME, FOOTBRAWL, NASTYCAR)
Racestration (N) - Frustration with racial tension
Racket Science (N) - 1. The bad science used to create government regulations
2. The science used by con men
Rainlong (N) - The desire, when on Arrakis, to see water fall from the sky again (cf. Dune)
Ramboast (N) - An overconfident swagger
Ramskunktious (A) - Describing the behavior of a skunk (or a politician)
Ransume (N - Pronounced "Ran-zoo-may") - The requirement of a well-written resume, demanded by a right-brained human resources manager: It keeps the left-brained people who are more suited to a technical job from being hired. (See HUMANIST-RESOURCES DEPARTMENT, RIGHTBRAIN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT)
Re-Empty (N) - A vacuum cleaner "refill" bag (pre-emptied? See PRE-EMPTY)
Recomfortable (A) - To be comfortable again after becoming uncomfortable
Recumbering (V) - Riding a recumbent bicycle *
Religiophobia (N) - The fear or hatred of religious beliefs
Religiophobic (A) - Of the fear or hatred of religious beliefs
Repeatza (N) - A pizza that produces a lot of gas when eaten (also REPIZZA)
Repizza (N) - A pizza that produces a lot of gas when eaten (also REPEATZA)
Repoot (N) - Ill repute, or bad character
Resiglue (N) - Excess glue that must be removed
Respensibility (N) - The responsibility for causing an excess expense
Resumemail (N) - Sending a resume by email, as many employers require now
Retalitarian (N, A) - The belief in retaliating against everything that you don't like
Rightbrain-Resources Department (N) - A human-resources department that concentrates on how well-written a resume is, instead of whether left-brained people are more suited to a technical job than people who write resumes well (See HUMANIST-RESOURCES DEPARTMENT, RANSUME)
Road Island (N) - When all of the roads leading to where you need to go to are closed
Roomzoni (N) - A robot that goes around the floor of a store cleaning it
Rotadial (V) - To pretend you have a rotary dial phone, so a VOICE JAIL system will send you to a real person
Rotisserate (V) - To roll slowly while sunbathing
Roundcornercopia (N) - The craze for putting round corners on web page boxes, using unnecessary download bandwidth
Runfer (N) - A trip taken to go get something
Samplitude (N) - The strength of the signal being digitally sampled
Scamotosis (N) - A fake disease that causes people to scam
Scaredo (N) - Hair standing straight up
Scareshow (N) - A TV show designed to scare people with a disaster with a very low probability of occurring, often used for political purposes (See DISASTEROID)
Schooltreacher (N) - A teacher who imposes political beliefs on pupils
Schroedingbug (N) - A computer bug that is not noticed until the source code is read * (See HEISENBUG, BOHR BUG, MANDELBUG, EINSTEINBUG, POTM BUG)
Screwb (N) - The device that messes up
Screwd (A) - Past tense of "Shrewd"
Scrolljam (N) - The inability to scroll down a web page quickly, because the moving ad steals all of the CPU time
Scrope (V) - Past tense of "scrape"
Scrote (V) - Past tense of SCRUTE
Scrute (V) - To Scrutinize
Sculptduggery (N) - 1. Fake sculptures
2. Weight-loss clinic body-sculpting claims
Scumquat (N) - Porn site webmaster
Seh (PN) - A neutral gender singular subject pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHR, SEHS)
Sehm (PN) - A neutral gender singular object pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHMSELF, SEHR, SEHS)
Sehmself (PN) - A neutral gender singular reflexive pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHR, SEHS)
Sehr (A) - A neutral gender singular possessive adjective used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHS)
Sehs (PN) - A neutral gender singular possessive pronoun used instead of the current wrong use of plural. (See SEH, SEHM, SEHMSELF, SEHR)
Self-Definition (N) - see SELF-DEFINITION
Self Esteam (N) - The steam-boiler temper of a violent man
Sell Phone (N) - What a telemarketer calls you with *
Senioritis (N) - The high-school fear of being about to go out on your own
Sesquipickup (N) - A pickup truck with dual wheels on the back
Sesquisemi (A) - Three quarters of something (See TRIDEMISEMI)
Sesquisemicircle (N) - Three quarters of a circle (See TRIDEMISEMICIRCLE)
Sesquispeech (N) - A half-hour speech delivered in 45 minutes
Sheng Phooey (PH) - A means of harmonizing an office or home so nobody can find anything
Short Billion (N) - The short scale billion = 1,000,000,000 = 10^9 (as opposed to LONG BILLION = 10^12)
Short Trillion (N) - The short scale trillion = 1,000,000,000,000 = 10^12 (as opposed to LONG TRILLION = 10^18)
Shotgun Art (N) - A painting created by hanging cans of paint over a canvas, and then shooting at them
Sinfoul (A) - Extremely sinful, to the point of offending everyone
Skitted (A) - Involuntarily presented with a skit
Skulldrudgery (N) - Having to think really HARD
Skunkee (N) - The recipient of skunk effluent
Skunkoleum (N) - Skunk effluent
Sloke (N) - A slowpoke (the 2nd word I coined)
Slouched Brain (N) - A disease politicians and others get, which causes an inability to think
Slumberia (N) - The state that falling asleep takes you to
Slumburbia (N) - The place that makes you fall asleep
Smashcase (N) - Regular text forced into all-uppercase or all-lowercase by the application program, destroying the original case the user wanted
Smudge Pot (N) - 1. Heater used to prevent citrus fruit from freezing on the tree
2. Old-style highway road flare
Snacrifice (N) - Giving up your favorite snack to please other people *
Sneak Oil (N) - A scam
Sneakret (N) - A sneaky secret (The 3rd word I coined)
Sneakret Exit (N) - An exit only you know about, so you can sneak out
Sneasoning (V) - Sneezing over the food you are cooking
Snickety (A) - Describing the short-throw manual gearshift on a Mazda Miata *
Snippage (N) - The portion edited out of the sender's email in the reply
Snoozeletter (N) - A boring newsletter
Snow Glob (N) - A snow globe that has lost all of its liquid
Snowberg (N) - A pile of ice or snow left by a snowplow on the sidewalk you are required to keep clear of snow (See CARBERG, MALLBERG)
Snorama (N) - A snoring demonstration
Snowfakes (n) - Eight-pointed paper snowflakes made in grade school, because the teacher can't remember how to make six-pointed ones
Soduk (N) - The award given to the worst of anything (Kudos spelled backwards)
Soundbitten (A) - Converted into a soundbite **
Speediot (N) - 1. A driver who almost always exceeds the speed limit
2. A legislator who enacts laws that prohibit the defensive driving technique needed to deal with tailgaters
Speel (N) - A cardboard spoon that peels from the side of a single serving carton of ice cream (See SPOOD)
Spider of Damocles (PH) - A spider on the ceiling, which crawls until it is directly over you, and then stops and stays there: You keep watching it nervously, because it might drop on you. Often disrupts meetings.
Spin The Schedule (PH) - A game played by TV network officials, always reshuffling shows so your two favorite shows are on at the same time
Splidnoog (N) - What you call the thing you can't remember the name of, until you remember it * (See FUBBAFLUWATCH)
Spoo! (IJ) - Exclamation made when someone does something deliberately ("oops" spelled backwards) *
Spood (N) - A flat wooden spoon taped to a single serving carton of ice cream * (See SPEEL)
Spoogilistics (N) - The art of doing things on purpose just to irritate someone
Spoot (S) - The sound the cheap little bell on 1930s Underwood typewriters made
Spootledop (N) - A tall pole with a red disc on top, used to tell a golfer where the cup is when the green is hidden behind a hill when viewed from the tee
Spottled (A) - Blinded by flash cameras
Spylore (N) - Stories told and retold by spies
Squabbleville (N) - A town that is always having arguments about everything
Squadillion (N) - A very large amount
Squandro (N) - Sci-fi currency denomination
Squiddle (V) - Walk like a squid
Stacled (A) - Hindered by obstacles or government regulation
Stayintheredness (N) - Inertia or friction *
Stoogeproofing (V, N) - Preventing people who act like the Three Stooges from messing things up
Stoogidity (A) - Describing behavior like that of the Three Stooges
Stoogification (N) - An effect of an important meeting that causes people to imitate the Three Stooges
Stoogilistics (N) - The art of getting into fights like the Three Stooges
Stooopid (N) - Extremely stupid
Stuffalanche (N) - The result of everything falling from shelves
Stupid Case (N) - Regular text typed with the CAPS LOCK key accidentally turned on (See LOSERCASE)
Stupident (N) - A student who doesn't go to class
Stupidiot (N) - 1. A stupid idiot
2. A bad driver who does not think of the safety of others
Stupidphone (N) - A smartphone that causes trouble, including auto accidents
Suckurity (N) - Intrusive overkill security measures (See OSADDAMIZE)
Suicycling (v) - Riding a bicycle in a dangerous, illegal manner (such as going the wrong way on a ONE-WAY street)
Summa Cum Latte (PH) - The strongest coffee possible (See MAGNUM CUM LATTE)
Sustart (N) - Art created for sale the purpose of sustenance
Tackle Pinochle (N) - A card game where people get mad and chase each other around the room * (See CONTACT BRIDGE)
Tackle Poker (N) - A card game where people get mad, chase each other, and accuse each other of cheating, after trying to play poker with a pinochle deck (See TACKLE PINOCHLE)
Takeapartable (A) - The ability to be easily taken apart
Tange (V) - To be tangible (See FEASE)
Tardoff (N) - A lateness contest
Technophobiatric (N) - A person who fears the existence of technology
Technobsolescence (N) - Obsolescence of recording formats caused by new technology, resulting in the unreadability of some treasured data, video recordings, and audio recordings
Ted (N) - The stuffing inside a teddy bear
Teevium (N) - The tedium that most TV programs are made of
Telepathetic (N) - A poor example of an attempt at telepathy
Televisium (N) - What TV transmissions are made of
Tenementia (N) - A government that wants to build tenement slums.
Terabucks (N) - A unit of measure equal to $1,000,000,000,000 used to denote the size of the US national debt or the size of the world money supply: Equal to $1 trillion (US) or $1 Billion (world numbering system, but in US dollars. Tera = metric prefix for 1,000,000,000,000 - See SI standards for a chart on the difference between US numbering and world numbering.)
Textapostachatammunication (V) - The means of communication used by most of today's kids (Zits comic strip)
Textort (V) - To require a long essay paper (as a schoolteacher would)
Thankrupt (A) - Discounting blessings
Thermonuclear Divorce (PH) - Acrimony in matrimony, resulting in alimony
Thinkrupt (A) - Incapable of rational thought
Third-Grade Trump (PH) - A Namecaller
Thirdright (A) - Not quite being forthright
Threeality (N) - The quality of the realism of a three-dimensional display or surround sound system
Threek (N) - 1. A plastic fork that has lost one of the tines
2. A fork with three tines *
Thumper (N) - A subwoofer (cf. Tweeter, Squeaker, Squawker, and Woofer) - the bane of the QUIETESSIMALITE (see QUIETESSIMALITE in the government version of this list: NEW GOVERNMENT VOCABU-LARRY)
Tiglath Pilsener (N) - A lager beer named after an ancient Assyrian king
Timespeed (N) - 299792458 meters per second in the time dimension (See TRIGONORELATIVITY)
Tobble (V) - To hit a keyboard key that makes all of the characters on the screen act drunk (misprint of "toggle")
Toboric (A) - Robotic and simpleton in nature
Toolnik (N) - A tool coveter, or someone who goes nuts over tools
Trash Stinkers (N) - Stickers required by government to pay for having your trash picked up, so people must pay a kickback to get rid of trash - Causes illegal dumping
Trashay (V, N) - How a strumpet walks
Tridemisemi (A) - Three quarters of (See SESQUISEMI)
Tridemisemicircle (N) - Three quarters of a circle (See SESQUISEMICIRCLE)
Trigonorelativity (N) - An algebraic transformation of Einstein's relativity done by Larry Robinson (author of this page) - This change makes relativity easier to understand, and also makes a few new predictions
Tritiny (N) - The crime of triteness
Trookie (N) - A factory mistake result: a sandwich cookie with three cookie layers and two filling layers
Trucklet (N) - Ford Transit
Tryfail (N) - The failed result of a PRODUCK test
Twitblaster (N) - A twit who makes negative Twitter twits
Typogoofical Error (N) - A keyboarding misteak that finds its way into the finished product
Typosetter (N) - A typesetter who makes typos (See TYPSETTER, TYPOGOOFICAL ERROR)
Typost (N) - A typist who makes TYPOGOOFICAL ERRORS
Typsetter (N) - TYPOSETTER
Ucro (U) - Micro, meaning one millionth of (Abbr: u)
UFGlow (V) - What UFOs do
Ugly Truckling (N) - Suzuki Sidekick
Ugpleat (N) - The backside of a pleat, seen only when the garment is inside out
Umbojay (N) - The hooked end of an umbrella handle
Umpdark (N) - Whatever blocks the umpire from seeing the play
Umph (N) - 1. One third of a victory
2. One third of the power of a British sports car
Un-Brainer (N) - Something so stupid that nobody with an actual brain would do it
Un-ity (N) - Antonym of unity
Unboit (V) - To recover after saying "toy boat" 10 times really fast
Undo Pain - 1. The painful act of being forced to undo good work
2. Pain caused by Daylight-Stupid Time, or other government activities
Undon't (V) - Do
Unempage (V, pronounced "un-em-PAZH") - To require people to turn off their pagers
Unintendo (N) - Unintended by-product of playing video games
Unputered (A) - Describing a person who either has no computer, or has no computer knowledge
Upperleftswooper (N) - A web page with a curved logo covering the upper left corner - Very trite
Usility (A) - The utility-usefulness index, calculated by taking the average of utility and usefulness
Utensile Strength (N) - The amount of force a plastic fork can take before it breaks into a THREEK
Utopitarian (N) - 1. Wanting the world of John Lennon's song "Imagine"
2. Wanting a world where nobody has to work
Vecdirt (N) - The direction and distance to the dirt (chief usage is political)
Veni Vidi Vegi (PH) - "I came, I saw, I vegetated." *
Vertifit (V) - To repeatedly try to design a web page to exactly fit the monitor viewport in the vertical direction, a futile pursuit because there is no way to make it work on all computers, browsers, screen resolutions, and window sizes
Viagravated (A) - Upset by all of the spam advertising Viagra
Vigorovated (A) - Upset by all of the spam advertising fake Viagra
Vlig (A) - A Velcro holder for an Ace bandage (See LIG)
Voice Jail (N) - An automated answering system without a choice for the reason of your call, which will not let you talk to a real person *
Warlorn (A) - The emotional feeling of dismay that the country is at war
Wastium (N) - The chemical element that, when added to anything else, turns it into waste
Weakth (N) - A lack of wealth (cf. typo)
Webster (N) - A World Wide Web user
Wigget (N) - A tiny detail added to a spaceship model (for movies) to make it look more real * (See GREEBLE, NURNY)
Windroid (N) - A Windows computer
Woke-A-Dope (PH) - Believe in that woke nonsense
Woodsmoker (N) - An environmentalist who uses a wood stove (renewable resource), smogging up the neighborhood
Worng (N) - A wrong wrong
Writeproof Paper (N) - Paper with a coating that keeps pens from writing on it (e.g. infrared printer paper)
Y2K BUG (N) - A bug that gets the date or weekday wrong after 02/28/2000 because the software doesn't know it's a leap year.
Yehudi Menuhenpecked (A) - Unable to find the correct menu to change a computer setting in
Yellbin (N) - Where people go when they are angry
Yellybake (V) - To be very vocal about a problem
Yipe-o (N) - A superobvious typo
YOLO (AC) - You only live once *
Yougle (V) - To say, "You! You! It's always about you!"
Yougled (A) - The feeling you get when your spouse says, "You! You! It's always about you!" when it's really about something else
Yubble (V) - Transmitting data, as shown by the blinking light on the modem
Yuggle (V) - Dithering back and forth, such as a wobbling wheel on a shopping cart
Zxnrbl (N, pronounced "ZNER-ble") - A scrambling of a digital transmission or file

KEY:

A - Adjective
AC - Acronym
AV - Adverb
IJ - Interjection
N - Noun
PH - Phrase
PN - Pronoun
S - Sound
U - Unit of measure
V - Verb
* - Coined by others unknown
** - Coined by Rush Limbaugh
*** - Coined by Bruce Robinson
**** - Washington Post

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