ABOUT ME

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Personal statistics:

  • Name: Larry Robinson
  • Email: midimagic (combine this, at sign, domain)
  • Domain: sbcglobal.net
  • Relative age: Born in 1950s
  • Eyes: Brown
  • Hair: Brown
  • Height: Too short
  • Weight: You don't want to know!
  • Ear size: 2.75 inches
  • Socks: Black (unless muddy or unavailable)
  • Alcohol intake: None
  • Operating System: (CLASSIFIED)
  • CPU Speeds 4 Hz and 2.5 Hz
  • Maximum audio input: 90 dBC
  • House: Only house in my town containing an interchange
  • Doorbell: Nonexistent - power company stole frequencies
  • Cell Phone: None, and never will have one.
  • Number of remote controls needed: 10
  • Virtual band: MidiMagic.
  • Car: 2012 Chevy Cruze
  • What I really want in a car
    (but can't get, because they don't make it anymore)
  • Cars I have known
  • Driveway: Stop complaining! The city made me move it!
 Collaro Conquest

Here's how my favorite record changer gets the record size exactly right:

It feels the records with the tip of the arm.

Sayings

  1. "Government must come last, not first."
  2. "All government is on the backs of workers, not business."
  3. "Without business, there is no work done."
  4. "Without profit, there is no reason to hire."
  5. "Without work, this stupid planet can't feed its people."
  6. "Work is the only source of wealth."
  7. "Government can't create wealth, but can wreck anything."
  8. "Hating a political party is creed discrimination."
  9. "Hating a religion is religious and creed discrimination."
  10. "Do not attempt to defeat the interlock."
  11. "The second mouse gets the cheese."
  12. "The fruits of the Spirit are not prunes."
  13. "satan is a nerd"
  14. "David took rocks to a swordfight."
  15. "Actions speak louder, but politicians won't shut up."
  16. "Nobody can be paid more than his work product sells for."
  17. "Those using pejoratives and namecalling have no argument."
  18. "Workers pay all business taxes in product prices."
  19. "Those who steal freedom to have security get neither."
  20. "Life is a dirty trick."

Favorite Candid Camera gags:

  1. Plexiglas lid on basketball goal at one end of court
  2. IGNORE THIS SIGN (sign by itself)
  3. IGNORE OTHER SIGN (sign by itself)
  4. Record player taking orders in a laundry
  5. Car drives into service station without an engine
  6. Loni Anderson playing a high school counselor
  7. OTHER PEOPLE ONLY (sign - door buzzer won't work for victim)
  8. Ordered food comes out the fax machine
  9. Car that splits in half (independently driven left and right halves)
  10. Car that splits in half (car drops a stage like a rocket)
  11. WIPE YOUR FEET AS YOU LEAVE THE STORE (sign - mat inside)
  12. Elevator door opens as a stairway
  13. Car sideways in garage - tow truck called
  14. Building disappears when job applicant comes back (movie prop)
  15. Spoon dissolves in strong coffee
  16. Typewriter carriage flies off typewriter
  17. REST ROOM (sign - room full of soft chairs)
  18. High school aptitude tests show weird professions (e.g. shepherd)
  19. BACKWARD ZONE (sign on sidewalk)
  20. Porta-Potty rises into the air (on a forklift)


THE LISTS:

My 20 favorite things (#1 is my most favorite):

  1. The Lord Jesus Christ, God the Father, the Holy Spirit, and His churches
  2. My cute wife
  3. Mixing and recording music (especially in surround)
  4. Record changers - especially smart ones (see above)
  5. Solving UFO cases
  6. Matrix surround and quadraphonic sound
  7. Programming computers
  8. Highway interchanges (Including the diverging diamond)
  9. Smart traffic signals (including flashing yellow arrows)
  10. Mud puddles
  11. Electronics
  12. Books (real ones)
  13. Science fiction films
  14. Comedy films with pie fights
  15. Writing music
  16. Light shows
  17. Chicken teriyaki stir-fry
  18. Computers with operating systems subservient to programs
  19. Clogs
  20. Cartoons

The 20 things I dislike the most (#1 is most detested):

  1. Promotion of sinful activity by government and/or Hollywodd
  2. Daylight Saving Time (The time change twice a year)
  3. The State favoring religions of Atheism, Environmentalism, and PC
  4. Abortion
  5. Bicycle riders causing hazards by breaking traffic rules
  6. Things I am allergic to used at public events and on buses
  7. Displays of things I am allergic to in checkout lanes
  8. The unfair Plurality Voting System (in political polls too)
  9. Politicians who think it is necessary to cheat to win elections
  10. Taxes more than 10% of income (only workers really pay taxes)
  11. Lying politicians and government officials.
  12. Untrained politicians making traffic laws
  13. Government overregulation
  14. Government spending on nonessentials (e.g. pro sports arenas)
  15. Monopolies and monopoly powers, including copyrights, patents, exclusive contracts, and copy protection
  16. Microsoft changing the operating system every three years
  17. Scents and flavors in every home product
  18. Government banning products
  19. Companies discontinuing products
  20. Minimum orders (In order to get 4, you have to buy 1000)

My top 20 record albums of all time:

  1. We Shall Stand - Maranatha Singers
  2. Take Me to your Leader - Newsboys
  3. Going Public - Newsboys
  4. Tell Somebody - Terri Bewley
  5. Encounters of Every Kind - Meco
  6. Star to Star - Chromium
  7. Tubular Bells 2 - Mike Oldfield
  8. Tubular Bells - Mike Oldfield
  9. Audio Adrenaline - Audio Adrenaline
  10. Don't Censor Me - Audio Adrenaline
  11. The War of the Worlds - Jeff Wayne
  12. Ewok Celebration - Meco
  13. Electric Dreams (soundtrack) - Jeff Lynne
  14. The Wizard of Oz - Meco
  15. Snoopy for President - The Royal Guardsmen
  16. Hot August Night - Neil Diamond
  17. Going Places - Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass
  18. Journey to the Center of the Earth - Rick Wakeman
  19. The Best of Spike Jones - Spike Jones & the City Slickers
  20. Blue Swede - Blue Swede

My top 20 TV shows of all time (not counting animated):

  1. Candid Camera
  2. Star Trek (consider them all one long series)
  3. The Three Stooges Show (with Harlow Hickenlooper)
  4. The Dukes of Hazzard
  5. Hogan's Heroes
  6. Battlestar Galactica (It was back)
  7. Perry Mason
  8. Knight Rider
  9. Airwolf
  10. Touched by an Angel
  11. The Andy Griffith Show
  12. Mission: Impossible (original)
  13. Buck Rogers (1980s)
  14. Fame
  15. Project U.F.O.
  16. Rocky Jones, Space Ranger
  17. Green Acres
  18. Disney's Wonderful World of Color
  19. Bonanza
  20. Salvage I

My top 20 singles of all time:

  1. We Shall Stand (with our Feet on the Rock) - Maranatha Singers
  2. Shine - Newsboys
  3. Testify to Love - Avalon
  4. I wish We'd All Been Ready - DC Talk
  5. UFO - Geoff Moore & The Distance
  6. Caribbean Air Control - Chrome (aka Chromium)
  7. Downtown - Petula Clark
  8. Audio World - Audio Adrenaline
  9. He is Here - Terri Bewley
  10. Big House - Audio Adrenaline
  11. Hallelujah Glory - Vineyard Music
  12. Come On Down to my Boat - Every Mother's Son
  13. I Think We're Alone Now - Tommy James & the Shondells
  14. Tijuana Taxi - Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass
  15. Come Dancing - Kinks
  16. Baby, I'm Burnin' - Dolly Parton
  17. Bring Back Howdy Doody - 1910 Fruitgum Co.
  18. Yummy Yummy Yummy - Ohio Express
  19. Monster - Steppenwolf
  20. Sweet Pea - Tommy Roe

My current top 20 TV shows:

  1. Battlebots
  2. Curse of Oak Island
  3. Project Blue Book
  4. UFO Files
  5. Universe
  6. Modern Marvels
  7. Extreme Engineering
  8. Forensic Files
  9. Body of Evidence
  10. Engineering Disasters
  11. Justice with Judge Jeanine
  12. Ancient Aliens (to giggle at their theories)
  13. Perry Mason (reruns)
  14. Hannity
  15. Secret of Skinwalker Ranch
  16. The Truth is Out There
  17. (There aren't any more - it's that bad)
  18. Missing in action: Mythbusters, Candid Camera, Enterprise,
  19. Battlestar Gallactica, Flash Gordon, Doctor Who, Big, Doc<,
  20. Junkyard Wars, Stupid Criminals, Monster House, Monster Garage

My top 20 movies of all time (#1 was most liked):

  1. A Thief in the Night (count the series as one long movie)
  2. The Wizard of Speed and Time
  3. Star Wars (count the series as one long movie)
  4. The Horse Without a Head
  5. Dune
  6. What's Up, Doc?
  7. The Great Race
  8. Apollo 13
  9. The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming!
  10. Close Encounters of the Third Kind
  11. Chariots of Fire
  12. Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines
  13. The Last Starfighter
  14. batteries not included
  15. The Parent Trap (1961)
  16. Sex and the Single Girl
  17. Flashdance
  18. The War of the Worlds (1995 Pendragon)
  19. The War of the Worlds (1952)
  20. Hog Wild

My top 20 all-time cartoon/animated shows:

  1. Supercar
  2. WB cartoons with Marvin the Martian
  3. Space Angel
  4. Road Runner
  5. Other Loony Toons and Merrie Melodies
  6. The Jetsons
  7. Josie & the Pussycats
  8. Fireball XL-5
  9. Top Cat
  10. The Flintstones
  11. Rocky & Bullwinkle
  12. Archie & His Pals
  13. Colonel Bleep
  14. Underdog
  15. Gyro Gearloose
  16. Little Roquefort
  17. Heckle & Jekyll
  18. Ruff 'n Ready
  19. Wacky Racers
  20. Red's Dream

My top 20 pinball machines of all time:

  1. Fireball*# (Bally 1972)
  2. Gulfstream II*# (Williams)
  3. Black Knight* (Williams)
  4. 9-Ball* (Stern 1981)
  5. Nip-It*# (Bally)
  6. High Speed* (Williams)
  7. Firepower* (Williams)
  8. Flight 2000* (Williams)
  9. Wizard# (Bally)
  10. Pinbot* (Williams)
  11. Vector* (Bally)
  12. Fathom* (Bally)
  13. Split Second* (Stern)
  14. Phoenix* (Williams)
  15. Xenon* (Bally)
  16. Solar City# / Target Alpha (Gottlieb)
  17. Twin Win# (Bally)
  18. Triple Action# (Williams)
  19. Big Indian# / Big Brave (Gottlieb)
  20. Amigo# (Bally)

* = multiball

# = I repaired this when I fixed pinball machines.

I have to have played it for it to be here.
2 names = 2 or 4 player versions.

Gulfstream II was my multiball modification to a Williams machine.

My top 20 highway interchanges:

  1. Chicago: The Hillside Strangler (I-88, I290, I294, US20, IL38, IL56, IL64 ... This thing is 5 miles long!)
  2. Union NJ: Minimally Complete* (Garden State Pkwy, US22, NJ82)
  3. Perth Amboy NJ: Can of Worms* (Garden State Pkwy, US9, NJ184, NJ440)
  4. Boston/Wellesley MA: Snakes Alive* (I90, I95, MA16, MA38, MA128)
  5. Golden Glades FL: Red Wigglers* (I95, US441, FL Tpk, FL9, FL826)
  6. Utica NY: Whydidtheydothat?* (I90, I790, NY5, NY8, NY12)
  7. Queens NY: Kew Gardens (I678, NY25, Grand Central Pkwy, Robinson Pkwy)
  8. Rochester NY: Elegant Curves* (I490, I590, NY96, NY590)
  9. Columbus IN: Bridge Arte SPUI* (I65, IN46)
  10. Portland OR: Portland Paperclip* (I5, OR99E)
  11. Wentzville MO: Pretzel Bender (I70, US40, I64, US61 --- Old version)
  12. Chicago: The Spaghettibowl (I90, I94, I290 Old version)
  13. Roeland Park KS: Loopy-loop* (US69, US169 Old version)
  14. Springfield MO: First Diddy* (I44, MO13 Diverging Diamond)
  15. Albany NY: The Throttleneck* (I87, I90 --- both interstates through that little tollgate???)
  16. Cambridge OH: The Solid Rock* (I70, I77 --- in rock cuts)
  17. Washington DC: The Mixing Bowl (I395, US1, VA27, VA 110)
  18. Washington DC: Pook's Hill (I270, I495, MD335 --- oops!)
  19. Tampa FL: Graceful Turbine* (I4, I75)
  20. Bloomington IN: Wow! It fit!* (IN37, Monroe Dam Rd.)

* = My own name for it

The interchange must be complete (even if through subsidiary ramps or side roads) to be listed.

My Favorite:

  • Color: Cyan
  • Number: 1771561
  • Car (all-time): 1957 Chevrolet
  • Record changer: Collaro Conquest (see pic above)
  • Battlebot: Toe Crusher
  • "Fame" contestant (2003): Serena Henry
  • Computer: Tandy Color Computer
  • Radio station: WVNI 95.1
  • MIDI patch: Tubular bells
  • Practical joke: Mirror image clock
  • One-liner: "Bartender, this Manhattan tastes like New Jersey!"
  • Traffic signal type: Flashing yellow arrow
  • Gooey substance: Cheese dip
  • Record dropping method: Center push and overarm
  • Record size sensing method: Pickup arm tip scan
  • Pie delivery method: Full frontal wipe
  • Salad Dressing: Mullens Imitation French
  • Steak Sauce: Country Bob's All-Purpose Sauce
  • Stooge: Larry
  • Knock-knock joke:

    • Knock! Knock!
    • Who's There?
    • Cowsgo.
    • Cowsgo Who?
    • Cows go "Moo"! Owls go "Hoo"!

TRUE ADVERTISING

Ensure so out of here

"Ensure, you are so out of here!"

"I'm reworking the menu! Food cops are banished! I want my cupcakes, corn dogs, and other foods that actually taste good."

Heard in an ad:
   "It's shoe-shopping good!"
   "Chocolate-covered shoe-
     shopping good!"
(Where can I buy these chocolate-covered shoes?)

"Illiterate? Write to us today for free help."
(???)

"If you have mesothelioma, lung cancer, breathing problems, or died, please call our law office immediately!"
(In that last case, how???)

Danesita Chokies
(Chocolate cookies - Do they choke you?)

We Curl Up and Dye for You

Take-It Apartments

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