101 WAYS TO RUIN A SESSION

Here is a list of ways to ruin a recording session without really trying (Read the whole list, and get a surprise):

  1. Fail to show up.
  2. Show up late.
  3. Hum, whistle, or tap to the music.
  4. Play around with the microphone.
  5. Forget to bring your music.
  6. Forget to practice.
  7. Show up intoxicated.
  8. Show up in a hangover.
  9. Bring lots of food.
  10. Bring intoxicants.
  11. Bring party supplies.
  12. Wear noisy clothes or jewelry.
  13. Horse around.
  14. Practical jokes.
  15. Wear wooden heels or soles.
  16. Wear corduroy or leather.
  17. Dance around while playing.
  18. Bring people who are not part of the session.
  19. Allow a camera into the studio.
  20. Get into an argument.
  21. Discuss politics (guaranteed to start an argument).
  22. Discuss union issues (guaranteed to start an argument).
  23. Charge or pay by the hour.
  24. Choose a noisy location or one that leaks external sounds.
  25. Use techniques intended only for live performance.
  26. Try out a new idea at the session.
  27. Play too loud.
  28. Play too soft.
  29. Keep turning your instrument up.
  30. Change the monitor settings.
  31. Violate noise ordinances.
  32. Vary your volume inconsistently.
  33. Play louder when you are also singing.
  34. Use out-of-tune instruments.
  35. Tune to different references.
  36. Use more than one tuner.
  37. Tune acoustic instruments to each other.
  38. Give verbal instructions during takes.
  39. Get your hand signals mixed up.
  40. Miss your cue.
  41. Rant and rave when somebody goofs up.
  42. Forget the words.
  43. Spoonerize the words (or get your tang tungled).
  44. Knock over your music.
  45. Knock over your music stand.
  46. Sing the wrong verse.
  47. Move your head around while singing.
  48. Move the mic around while singing.
  49. Start singing late.
  50. Try to sing outside your range.
  51. Turn away from the mic to give a cue.
  52. Bump the mic.
  53. Eat during the take.
  54. Use old, dead strings.
  55. Put brand new strings on within two days of the session.
  56. Fail to bring a spare guitar and spare strings.
  57. Play hard enough to break strings.
  58. Use a hum-sensitive guitar or bass.
  59. Move your instrument around, changing temperature and tuning.
  60. Mess with the thermostat, changing instrument tunings.
  61. Use an instrument with noisy controls.
  62. Use a speaker cord where an instrument cable is needed.
  63. Use a bad instrument cord.
  64. Disconnect your instrument when not playing.
  65. Use an instrument cord that is too short.
  66. Put a wall wart (AC adapter) right next to a direct box.
  67. Move the instrument around in front of the mic.
  68. Scuff against the soundbox of an acoustic instrument.
  69. Put a wall wart right next to a mic.
  70. Use a noisy amplifier.
  71. Plug in the wrong connector.
  72. Use unreliable equipment.
  73. Waste time trying to make equipment work.
  74. Forget to set your equalization controls.
  75. Forget what your good equalization settings are.
  76. Put amplifiers on the floor.
  77. Put an amplifier on a speaker or a hollow box.
  78. Turn an amplifier loud enough to cause feedback.
  79. Use a squeaky or noisy kick drum pedal.
  80. Use a noisy hi-hat mechanism.
  81. Use cymbals without pads.
  82. Use drum racks and stands that make noise.
  83. Use a squeaky drummer's throne.
  84. Forget to bring extra drumsticks.
  85. Lose a drumstick during the take.
  86. Hit a mic with a drumstick.
  87. Fail to tune the drums.
  88. Tune the drums to decay too long.
  89. Use the wrong ride cymbal.
  90. Knock over a mic stand.
  91. Trip over a cable.
  92. Scoot a chair.
  93. Fall out of a chair.
  94. Knock over a drink.
  95. Smoke, setting off the smoke alarm.
  96. Stop playing at the first error, ruining the rest of a usable take.
  97. Swear at the first error, ruining the rest of a usable take.
  98. Insist on redoing an acceptable take.
  99. Ask the engineer to do impossible things.
  100. Get in the way during another musician's take.
  101. Make noises during another musician's take.

LINKS

  1. Home
  2. MIXING menu
  3. LIVE MIXING TIPS
  4. TAPE MIXING TIPS
  5. BOUNCING TECHNIQUES
  6. PANNING TECHNIQUES
  7. COMMON MIXING MISTAKES
  8. LIVE TO 4 WITH PANNING

The ultimate ruined session:

studio disaster cartoon