The preceding is about the same as the feeling I got the first (and last) time I tried
to do some live mixing on a PC. By contrast, my analog mixers just do exactly what I tell them
to do. ... Every time!Imagine if the control interfaces of the current crop of digital consoles were integrated into other systems...
Such as a jet fighter.
Messages appearing on the screen are in GREEN.
The pilot's musings are in talk balloons.
"Cloing" (window opens)
WARNING! APPROACH OF HOSTILE AIRCRAFT! CLICK TO CONTINUE.
(click) (window closes)
"Cloing" (window opens)
SELECT DISPLAY MODE:
WEAPONSRADARLOCATION(click RADAR) (window closes)
(maneuvers plane so enemy plane is in sights)
(press fire button on control stick)
"Cloing" (window opens)
THE WEAPON YOU CURRENTLY HAVE SELECTED IS NOT INSTALLED.
MAKE ANOTHER SELECTION:
MISSILESBOMBSGUNSSTARS"Grrrrr!"
(click MISSILES)
"Cloing" (window opens)
SELECT TYPE OF MISSILE:
HEAT SEEKINGARMOR PIERCINGLASER GUIDEDATOMIC WARHEAD"Huh?"
(click HEAT SEEKING)
"Cloing" (window opens)
IN ORDER FOR YOUR CONFIGURATION CHANGE TO TAKE EFFECT, YOU
MUST LAND YOUR AIRPLANE, CLOSE ALL PROCESSES, AND RESTART WINDOWS.
DO YOU WISH TO DO THIS NOW?
YESNOHELP"Eeeek!"
(click NO) (windows close)
"Cloing" (window opens)
POSITION DATA FOR YOUR JOYSTICK HAS OVERRUN. DATA LOST.
OK
"*&%$#*&^!"
(click) (window closes)
...
...
...
"Cloing" (window opens)
GPS INDICATES YOU HAVE JUST CROSSED A TIME-ZONE BOUNDARY.
PLEASE RESET THE CLOCK NOW.
ENTER CORRECT ZULU TIME (HHMMSS):
"Gngngngngng!"
065323
"Cloing" (window opens)
YOU ARE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME WITH ADMINISTRATIVE FUNCTIONS DURING BATTLE CONDITIONS.
FURTHER SUCH ACTIVITY WILL VOID THE WARRANTY OF YOUR F-5U.
OK
"Stupid computer! You did that yourself!"
(click)
(execute violent evasive maneuver)
"Cloing" (window opens)
POSITION DATA FOR YOUR JOYSTICK HAS OVERRUN. DATA LOST.
OK
"Gnaaaaa!"
(click)
(counteracts heading error due to interruption in joystick response)
"Cloing" (window opens)
JOYSTICK BUFFER OVERFLOW HAS OVERWRITTEN THE OPERATING SYSTEM.
PROCEEDING TO REBOOT.
REBOOTING....
(Begin 30 seconds of no control at all)
"Gaaaaaa! Help!"
(screen goes blank)
WELCOME TO THE REDACTOID F-5U FIGHTER CONTROL PANEL.
© 2004 REDACTOID INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
PRESS ENTER TO CONTINUE
ENTER
"Mmmbl"
"Cloing" (window opens)
GPS DATA INDICATES THAT YOUR F-5U IS IN MOTION.
IT IS NOT ADVISED TO REBOOT THE F-5U FIGHTER CONTROL
PANEL WHILE THE AIRPLANE IS IN FLIGHT OPERATION.
PLEASE READ THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL SAFETY PRECAUTIONS.
OK
(pounds on instrument panel)
(click)
"Cloing" (window opens)
SENSORS INDICATE HULL PENETRATION BY ENEMY WEAPON.
YOUR WARRANTY IS NOW NULL AND VOID.
OK
"Ooops!"
"Uh Oh. . . ."
(click)
Large crunching sound
"Cloing" (window opens)
SENSORS INDICATE THAT LARGE PORTIONS OF YOUR F-4U ARE NOT IN PROPER POSITION.
PLEASE RETURN YOUR F-5U TO YOUR NEAREST SERVICE CENTER FOR REPAIR.
OK
"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!"
(crash)
....
The preceding is about the same as the feeling I got the first (and last) time I tried
to do some live mixing on a PC. By contrast, my analog mixers just do exactly what I tell them
to do. ... Every time!
By the way, the F-5U was a real airplane, but never had computer controls. I picked it, because it is one of the silliest looking airplanes I ever saw. It was basically a turtle shell with fins.