THE TRUTH ABOUT "UFO OBSERVABLES"

A group of UFOlogists made a list of five "UFO Observables" that indicate that a UFO is extraterrestrial. Below are observations that are not extraterrestrial, but fit this list perfectly:

OBSERVABLEDESCRIPTIONOBJECT 1OBJECT 2OBJECT 3
1. Anti-Gravity LiftRises without apparent power source Rises with no sign of powerRises with no sign of powerMoves with no sign of power
2. Instantaneous AccelerationInstantly changes direction or speed Suddenly zooms straight upSuddenly moves any directionSuddenly moves any direction
3. Hypersonic without signatureNo sonic boom or shock wave Fast, no boomFast, no boomFast, no boom
4. Low observability or cloakingWhere is it between sightings? Not seen very oftenMostly seen at nightSeen only occasionally
5. Trans-medium travelGoes in water, air, and space Comes out of waterZooms off into spaceSudden appear, disappear
Misidentified CharacteristicReason it is not extraterrestrial Perceived size wrongPerceived size wrongNot a material object
Drag mouse over black to reveal:Actual identity of object: Submarine antenna balloonSky LanternLASER on clouds
SolutionsImages of objects: Submarine antenna balloon Sky lantern LASER on clouds
1. Anti-Gravity LiftHow it rises It's a gas balloonIt's a hot air balloonLight beam aimed anywhere
2. Instantaneous AccelerationHow it instantly changes velocity Cutting wire lets it go freeWind changes alter pathAlter aim moves it any speed
3. Hypersonic without signatureHow it goes so fast Seen larger & farther than isSeen larger & farther than is Moves at up to speed of light
4. Low observability or cloakingHow it stays out of sight Used only if sub needs radioLaunched firework for a partyUsed if UFO sighting wanted
5. Trans-medium travelHow it goes in different media Sent under water by sub, rises"flies away" when it goes out Can aimed into water, turn off

WHAT ARE THESE DEVICES AND WHY ARE THEY RARE