Scientists have noticed that Earth's gravity has decreased slightly. To conserve this force, they recommend:

  1. Drive instead of flying.
  2. Use pushcarts instead of carrying.
  3. Do not bowl.
  4. No weightlifting.
  5. Diet.
  6. No post-its; use e-mail.
  7. No heavy things on top shelves.
  8. Sit as much as possible.
  9. Don't hang diplomas, tapestries, pictures, or posters.
  10. Empty upper floor trash 4 times a day.
  11. No kites.
  12. One story houses only.
  13. No stairways.
  14. Don't haul trash; burn it.
  15. Move towns to low altitudes.
  16. No mountain climbing.
  17. Bury all electric lines.
  18. No book or rock collections.
  19. No fountains.
  20. No water towers.
  21. No mail chutes.
  22. No roller coasters.
  23. Use only recumbent bicycles.
  24. Don't fill up gas tanks.
  25. Horizontally polarize CB, ham, and cellular antennas.
  26. Fewer space shuttle flights.
  27. No file cabinets on upper floors, or with more than 2 drawers.
  28. Dirigibles, not airplanes.
  29. Do not rake leaves into piles.
  30. No elevated freeways.
  31. Stack china on floor.
  32. No large indoor planters or hanging planters.
  33. No tower computers.
  34. Use disks instead of paper.
  35. Ground Santa until he reduces.
  36. Use subways, not elevated trains.
  37. Remove all old paint and wallpaper before applying the new.
  38. No tall buildings.
  39. No fat stewardesses.
  40. Melt down all metal sculptures.
  41. No ceiling lamps or hanging lamps.
  42. Don't hang speakers on the wall.
  43. No storage shelves with more than 3 shelves, or more than 4 feet tall.
  44. Move into basements.

Isn't this list just as silly as half the things they want you to do for "global warming" prevention?